4 The Investigation

We piled into Corbin's van late on a Saturday morning, ready to investigate a house an hour away; past the outskirts of town. My stomach was a mixture of uneasiness and acid ... but not for the reasons you might think. Ghosts didn’t scare me, getting to know Monika did. I might have to open up, let her inside, see the real me. The thought sent panic rushing up my spine. I tried to act cool, to deny my obsession with her mystery and intrigue, but the red blotches on my neck told the truth.

“Everyone pumped!” Justin was the first to break the silence.

“I feel good about this one,” Monika replied. I sat next to her which was wasn’t as good as sitting in front of her, but better than sitting behind her. If I was in front of her she wouldn’t be able to see me blush. If I sat behind her I was a goner each time she turned around.

“So Monika, you'll need to begin preparations as soon as we get there? I don't mean to rush you but I think it's best if we get right to it." Justin said.

“I hope my skills are good enough. Making contact is always difficult in new settings. I’m sure it'll be distracting for the spirits too. Having to work with an unfamiliar medium isn’t easy."

“When did you first learn about your abilities?” Justin inquired. "I feel kind of dumb but I’ve never asked you before."

“I’ve just always kind of known. Spirits have been coming to communicate with me before I learned to talk. I guess they're eager to communicate with us. I realized I was a vessel for this communication at a very young age.” Monika wore low cut jeans and a tight beige shirt with just enough skin to reveal a half-hidden belly piercing and a tattoo of a dove just above her waistline.

"First rodeo, Will?" A voice came from the driver’s seat. Silence filled the van. The conversation was lost until Justin saved me.

"Why do you ask, Corbin?" Justin said, filtering the awkward quiet.

"He ain't said more than two damn words," Corbin chuckled. I shrugged, remaining silent. "It's ok man. The rules are simple. Just don't let the bogeyman in." Corbin was the only one who laughed. "Oh come on. Lighten up. I'm just having some fun. Don't you people know you always have to raz the new guy. It's called initiation."

"Didn't I already do that?" I forced the words out of my mouth as a slight tension moved up my neck.

"Yeah Corbin," Justin said. "Lay off." I could see the back of Corbin's head shaking in disapprovement. He didn’t speak the rest of the trip.

We stopped for gas and snacks at a travel plaza along the road. Monika was reaching her hand into a cooler to grab a sparkling water when I approached. My nerves hammered with each step closer. You can do this. You can speak to her. “What did he mean back there, about the Bogeyman?” My hands trembled with thoughts that my nervousness might be exposed.

“Don’t worry, it’s just a legend,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“When a spirit becomes a ghost it happens for a reason. They become attached, or earthbound, as we call it. They simply can’t let go of something or someone on earth, be it a person or a possession. That’s all it is.”

I shook my head. “I don’t get it. Why the Bogeyman?”

“You know how people believe crazy things in your town, like Sunny Miller is the devil.” Monika said. “The Bogeyman is just more of the same, crazy talk. Some spiritualists believe that ghosts are afraid of going into the light because they are being held here against their will. They believe darker entities are holding them back, lying to them, keeping them captive so to speak.”

“Why would they do that?”

“To collect their souls, it’s how the legend of the Grim Reaper was born.”

“Do you believe it? Are there such things as demons?” I asked.

Monika shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve seen no evidence for or against demons, angels, heaven, or hell. I really can’t say. What I do know is that there is an afterlife, filled with the spirits and souls of former humans, just like you and me. Some are better than others. Just like in life, there are people who do good and others who make mistakes. If a person made poor choices in life, it stands there’s a good chance they will continue that in death.”

Monika smiled slightly, leaving to pay for her water. I stopped in the bathroom to collect myself and slow my breathing. After washing my hands I made a grave mistake. Without thinking I glanced into the mirror, something I never did. My face was beat red. I looked like an idiot.

***

We arrived at our destination around one o’clock in the afternoon. “Alright, listen up everyone. You all know the rules but since Will is new I’m going to hit them again. It won’t hurt you to pay attention.” Justin directed the group. Corbin walked into the next room without saying a word. “Rule number one, check your crap at the door. Don't bring any personal baggage into the investigation. I need everyone focused, calm, and level headed. Remember, negative energy breeds negative energy. The only other rule; let each other do their job. Nobody panics if things get sticky. Is everyone clear? Will, you doing ok?”

“Justin, why do you care so much? There must be a billion lost souls. Why do you help them? What’s one soul in a billion really going to accomplish?” I asked.

“It’s true that it will take some time to help everyone but it’s a great work and we should feel honored to participate in it. It’s one of the highest privileges." Justin revealed a side to him I’d never seen before. He had leadership abilities but I never thought he cared about things greater than himself.

“What’s all this for?” I worked up the nerve to ask Corbin while we unloaded the most high tech equipment I'd ever laid eyes on.

“This stuff is highly sensitive,” he said. “It’s designed to help us record our contacts with spirits. I’m going to document what we do. It's my hope that future generations will be able to better understand our work. Consider yourself a pioneer, William. We’re just scratching the surface of a great work.”

It was the first decent thing Corbin had said to me since we met. Maybe he just needed time to warm up. Maybe I was gaining his trust. “I’m just hoping the Bogeyman doesn’t break anything,” I laughed, nudging his arm.

“Yeah, I had the same thought,” Corbin paused before sighing. “Keep your fingers crossed.” It wasn’t the response I had expected.

The group buzzed with excitement as we scurried around. We worked hard to get the equipment set up; turning the living room area into a small headquarters. Wires and cords ran up and down the floors creating a tangled mess that reminded me of the snake scene from Indiana Jones. The basement was the worst, creepy as hell, but basements in old houses are always that way. The humble home transformed into a high tech recording studio by nightfall. One you'd be more apt to find in Nashville rather than an old country house in the middle of nowhere. After the setup we stopped for a dinner break. It was eight o’clock. The group was tired, but morale was high. An unfamiliar feeling of comfort fell over me. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt comfortable in a group.

“Alright everyone, let’s get down to business. We'll start by asking some questions and see if we get a response from any of the spirits trapped in the house. Hopefully we can pick up some EVP's.” Justin said.

“My name is Justin. These are my friends, Monika, Corbin, and Will, can you hear me? We’re here to help. We want to help you, but you need to meet us halfway. We mean you no harm. Our intentions are pure. We have with us tonight a spiritual medium, one of the best in the business. She would very much like to communicate with you. She’s here to help you get to where you need to go. Get you to a place of peace and rest. Please, if you can hear us give us a sign of your presence.”

An eerie stillness calmed the air as we waited. The recorders weren’t picking up anything and our temperature gauges were remaining constant. “We usually get an extreme drop in temperature when a spirit is around,” Justin said. “These gauges haven’t moved at all." Monika stepped out to the porch, feeling that the spirits may be more inclined to speak to her if they had privacy.

“Any luck Monika?” Justin asked.

“No luck, it’s too distracting out here, too many noises coming from the animals in the woods.”

“Why don’t you go in the van and try?”

“Good idea.”

My stomach was nauseous. Something felt off. The animals stirring outside and the eerie calm inside was almost maddening. Not to mention the fact that we were trying to contact the so-called dead. Coping skills, I reminded myself as I envisioned Dr. Z's calming presence embracing my fear.

The night was pitch-black except for our lanterns. Justin said older spirits are frightened by flashlights, too modern. I took a lantern and sat on the front steps, quietly calming myself until a violent wind shook the front door and sent me running into the house.

Corbin looked up from his computer monitor. “It’s just the wind, man.”

“Oh,” I turned and looked back out on the porch.

Monika walked up the driveway shaking her head. “Nothing,” she said, sitting on the front porch step to take a much needed break.

“Monika,” I sat beside her.

“Yeah.”

“How could a person, or spirit, become evil, so much so to prevent another spirit from finding peace in the afterlife?”

“You’re still stuck on this Bogeyman thing huh?” Monika smiled.

“I guess so.” I blushed, turning my focus to the cracks between the wooden planks on the porch.

“In the spirit world intention is all powerful. A person with a strong will can control a person of a weaker will. Just like here. You've heard stories about how people are afraid of leaving their abusive partners.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s the same phenomena. It’s psychological bondage, brainwashing, whatever you want to call it. Victims are held captive by their fears. They haven’t realized that their fears aren’t real, that they can break them at any time. It’s hard work, but it can be done. That’s what I focus a lot of my work on when helping a lost soul.”

I couldn’t help but think of my own life and how I let my psychological disturbances keep me trapped and held captive, captive from truly living a free life.

“Do you like this work?”

“I take my calling very seriously.”

“You’re doing a great thing for these people. I couldn't do what you do.”

Monika smiled at me. “Thanks, Will. That means a lot. But don't under estimate yourself.”

“I just don't know if I could have compassion for people who do bad things, especially stealing or killing. I just don't understand the world we live in sometimes. People are so cruel to each other. The people in Millersville, how they bash each other at every turn, the Puritans and Outsiders. Spiteful words of hate and anger, it never stops. It makes me angry just thinking about it."

"Hate breeds hate. It's as simple as that." Monika said.

"Don't they get that we are all in this together? I could never do something to harm or hurt someone. I wish someone would teach them a lesson so they'd change their ways."

“I wish more people were like you, Will. You're a voice of reason. You should let it be heard. You'd do a lot of good in this dark town."

I nodded and smiled. Monika didn't know the truth, how impossible that sounded, how unrealistic it would be for me to be a leader in Millersville.

"Part of me stays here for that reason. For a chance to do good in a town that knows so little. I just ask that you remember we don't always know a person's background and where they are coming from. People aren't born bad. Things happen in life happen, they make poor choices, they’re human too. But, you're right. I don't believe you have a bad bone in your body. You're sweet.”

Monika smiled and looked shyly away. “Hey Will, I know I can come across as tough and rigid, but I’m really not. I actually quite shy. It’s just with Justin and Corbin, being the only female in the group, sometimes you gotta bust their balls a little.”

I laughed and scrambled for something witty to say. “So, you don't think I’ll become a demonic prince of hell someday?” I felt so stupid when the words left my mouth.

“Um, no, I think you're pretty safe with that one.” Monika smiled. “Listen, I’m sorry if we got off on the wrong foot when we first met. I was tired from a long day at work and just wanted to go home when Justin called. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course, I want to apologize for my actions too, that wasn’t who I really am.”

“I know, Will. Let’s go inside. I’m getting cold.”

We walked into the house. The clock on the stove read 4:37 a.m. Justin had a smile on his face. “Ok everyone. That’s a wrap.”

“What? That’s it? Nothing happened.”

“Welcome to ghost hunting 101 kid,” Corbin said. “It ain’t like movies or T.V.”

“We have to get back to the lab and analyze the evidence.” Justin said.

“Can’t we make something happen? Use a Ouija board or something.” I was feeling confident after my conversation with Monika.

Corbin spun around and shook his head. “That’s just a parlor trick, nothing scientific about them. They don’t work.” His tone was harsh.

“Ok Corbin. Back off. It was just a suggestion,” Justin spoke for me. “Now for the hard part,” he said, “taking all this crap down.”

It took two and a half hours to load the van. The sun was rising in the east, but I wasn’t tired. I felt alive, alive because I connected with Monika.