Prologue

Prologue

Pain stab me multiple times as the tears drop from my eyes. Hindi ako makapaniwala na kahit anong gawin ko maparamdam lang na nagmahal ako, sakit lang pala ang mapapala ko.

I never thought that this day would come. That I think were fine. But then who knows its just a lie to make me feel better right? Just to repay my kindness? Or to stop me from being a desperate?

Right now I don't think I really knew what he feels everytime we have each other. Lahat ba yun ay pasang-awa? That everytime I saw his smile, is that even fake?

Mas lalo akong napaluha dahil sa naisip, then maybe its all fake. That he really can't love me freely or for who I am. Then I think I should end this then.

I harshly wiped the tears in my cheeks as I enter my car. After putting the key and start it, all I thought is to take away the pain I felt. I just want to forget him, I just want to feel numb. I just want to forget everything.

I stepped on the gas and never mind the speed of the car. Sa bawat sakit na nararamdaman ko sa tuwing naiisip siya ay mas lalo kung binilisan ang aking pagpapatakbo. The tears blurred my vision but I never mind it. Dahil ang gusto ko lamang mangyari ay ang kalimutan ang nag-iisang tao na dulot ng sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

Marahas kung kinabig ang manobela sa kanan at sa nanlalaking matang tinignan ang truck na papalapit sa akin. A loud beep illuminated but I stare at it blankly tila hindi alam ang gagawin until I heared a loud impact, and I get numb.

I think my prayers answered that I just want to feel numb. My head hit harshly at something then I saw blood dripping from my forehead to my shaking hands on my lap. My vision is blurred pero naaninag ko ang usok na galing sa harap ng kotse at ang papalapit na tao sa aking sasakyan. He said something but all I heard was a high pitch that I just want to shut my ears para hindi ito marinig. I feel dizzy and my eyes is threatening to close. And then I remembered him, the man who hurt me.

I smiled at myself. Sana masaya siya na naging ganito ako. Sana maging payapa siya dahil nangyari ito sa akin. I just want to sleep and feel numb at everything. I just want to forget. My eyes starting to close until I submit myself to the oblivion.