SuperHippo
Really exciting start! The writing quality is pretty good ( For an original on this site its probably among the best few so far ) so keep that up. Love the characters up till now, I'm able to see more than one side to the protagonist at least. Story development is nice, its good to see that this system doesn't seem to be dominating the chapters. I gave 4 stars to stability of updates and world background only because its too early for me to actually judge them, but I consider these along with writing quality the 3 most important thing in a novel, so I'm sure if you keep up the steady release of updates/week and the english used, all you need is a carefully planned out and vividly described world, to have a winner! Good Luck!