32 Chapter 32
The oven timer dings. Natalie sluggishly gets up, goes to the kitchen and checks the roll ups. She grabs two kitchen towels and pulls the dish out of the oven, then turns the oven off and sits down. She mutters "freaking pasta" and buries her face in her hands again. Osmond stops writing.
"I think we're done."
"Indeed we are. Now open your browser and bookmark this site…"
Osmond saves his work, opens a browser, types in an address and bookmarks it.
"Post your work here. A literary agent will contact you by the end of the week, and he will help you get this work published."
"Oh right, I have to publish this, I completely forgot about that. Thanks."
"You're welcome. Now call Natalie over."
Osmond closes his laptop, gets up and goes to the kitchen. Natalie is still sitting with her face buried in her hands.
"Um…"
Natalie lifts her face up and looks at him.
"What?"
"The Overseer told me to call you over."
"Did you finish writing?"
"Yeah."
Natalie gets up and goes with Osmond to his room. Suddenly, a bright golden white light appears in the middle of the room, with a tremendous presence. Osmond and Natalie cover their eyes, then prostrate in front of it.
"Osmond and Natalie."
"Yes, Lord." –They respond in unison.
"Raise your heads."
They sit up.
"Three years ago, God has brought you together, and the Goddess blessed your relationship with longevity. Now that you have both realized your love for each other, the time has come to take the next step. Osmond Zeyreiter."
"Yes, Lord."
"As a reward for writing a book outlining human evolution starting from the lowest man and ending with the formless, fully liberated spirit, I hereby liberate you from your pasta fetish."
"Thank you, Lord."
"I believe you have something to say to Natalie."
"Yes, Lord."
Osmond turns to Natalie.
"Natalie…"
"Yes?"
They stare into each other's eyes.
"Will you be my girlfriend?"
Natalie tears up.
"Yes! Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"
She hugs Osmond tightly as tears of joy stream down her face. Osmond starts crying as well.
"Osmond and Natalie."
Natalie releases Osmond, and they face the light.
"Yes, Lord."
"Henceforth you belong to each other. I will now give you my blessing."
"Yes, Lord."
"May your love stay strong,
May you share your laughs and tears.
May your love last long,
May it last for years and years.
And when things turn bleak,
May your love still shine.
With this, fiery Natalie and Osmond meek,
I bless your love divine!
You may kiss."
Osmond and Natalie look smilingly into each other's eyes. They move in closer to each other, close their eyes, and kiss. The light disappears, and as soon as they notice, they start passionately making out. A few seconds later, Natalie pulls back.
"Wait, wait, wait."
"What?"
"Let's test out whether you still have the fetish first."
"Right, right."
They get up, wash their hands and go to the kitchen. Osmond sets the table and sits down while Natalie offers the food to God and serves the lasagna roll ups.
"Thank you, God, for this food." -They say in unison.
Natalie nervously observes as Osmond cuts a piece of a roll up with his knife, puts it in his mouth, and starts chewing. He continues chewing without an expression, and swallows.
"So?"
"Isn't it obvious? It's gone, I feel absolutely no arousal from this."
"Are you sure? Try again."
Osmond takes another bite and eats it with a blank expression. Natalie's face brightens. She tackles him, making him fall off his chair, then starts passionately kissing him like a tiger preying over an antelope.
