2 Chapter 2

Osmond wakes up. He rolls over and tries to go back to sleep. Some sounds can be heard from the kitchen. He gives up on going back to sleep, opens his eyes and slowly sits up, his bed creaking beneath him.

The bedroom door opens and a tall, long haired brunette enters.

"Morning, Ozzy."

Osmond groans.

"Did you give up or did you finally summon that guy?"

"He showed up, we start on Wednesday."

"That's fantastic!"

She walks up to him, leans in and hugs him while standing.

Osmond groans again.

The brunette releases him and sits next to him. The bed creaks.

"Are you hungry?"

"Very."

"Since you were fasting, you should have some fruit juice or veggie broth."

"I already broke my fast last night with ramen."

"You shouldn't break your fast with solid food."

"The Overseer made it for me and he said it was okay."

"Mmm… I guess it's fine if he said so."

"I heard noises coming from the kitchen."

"I was making pasta for myself, but since you already broke your fast, you can have some as well."

"Pasta?"

"Yeah, spaghetti with veggie sauce."

His morning wood turns into morning steel.

"Marry me, Natalie."

Natalie blushes.

"I gotta go back to cooking."

"Yeah, okay."

"Go wash your hands."

"Sure."

She walks out and closes the door,

Osmond buries his face in his pillow and pushes his rod down with both hands.

He starts breathing heavily and yells "Fuuuck!!" into his pillow. He feels as if his genitals want to detach themselves and run away. Soon enough, he calms down and gets up.

"Okay, bones, skin, blood, hair, sinews, marrow..."

–He thinks as he tries to relieve himself of lust.

His fifth limb gradually softens and he walks out of the room. The smell of food permeates the hallway. He goes to the bathroom and washes his hands.

Meanwhile, Natalie turns the stove off and drains the spaghetti, leaving behind a little bit of pasta water. She puts the spaghetti back into the pot, stirs it a bit and pours it into the veggie sauce, then stirs them together.

She puts a wooden chopping board on the center of the table, puts the pot on it and sets the table.

"I offer this food to God, Om Tat Sat."

Osmond emerges from the bathroom, his hands still wet.

"Food's ready."

"Let me wipe my hands first."

Osmond goes to his room to wipe his hands with his personal towel, and then goes to the kitchen.

He looks at Natalie's long legs and slim waist as she serves the food, then shifts his gaze to the food.

He quickly sits down before his dick gets up.

"Did you offer the food to God?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"Thank you, God, for this food." –They say in unison, and begin to eat.

Like a tiger biting into an antelope's neck, Osmond bites into the spaghetti, his half chub now a raging boner.

He lets out an erotic sound, to Natalie's surprise.

"Is it good?" –Natalie asks with a puzzled expression.

"Uhh, yeah, I guess."

"That moan didn't sound like a "yeah, I guess" to me."

"It's so good, it gave me a boner."

Natalie laughs.

"I'm serious, I'll stand up if you don't believe me."

"Haha, I believe you, I'm glad you like it."

They continue eating in silence. Osmond gets more aroused with each bite, and it shows on his face. He can't help but feel embarrassed as he receives oral pleasure, since Natalie is eating right in front of him.

"I'm sorry, can I go eat this in my room?"

"Why? Don't you like eating with me?"

"It's not that, it's just that… I feel dirty doing this in front of others."

"Eating food?"

"Eating pasta."

"I don't understand."

"I think I developed a pasta fetish."

"…That sure is a roundabout way to compliment my food, but thanks."

"No, I'm not complimenting your food, I'm saying that I feel sexual arousal from seeing, touching, smelling and eating pasta."

"What? I'm confused. Are you joking right now?"

"I'm not joking, pasta makes me horny."

"How? How does that even work? It's flour and eggs, there's nothing erotic about it."

"I don't know, maybe summoning the Overseer made me a little bonkers. I mean, I chanted for around four and a half days without food, water, sleep or masturbation."

Osmond stops talking to take a bite of food.

"Bway bwuf bfwb"

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

Osmond stops to chew and swallow, arousal clearly showing on his face.

"By the third day the only things I could think about were linguine, girl abs and sleep. By the fourth day these three thoughts turned into one weird muddy thought, like how when you make dough the ingredients look all separate at first, but turn into one homogeneous mass as you knead it."

He takes another bite.

"So all those thoughts mushed up together when you were all worn out turned into a pasta fetish?"

Osmond swallows with an erotic expression.

"That probably has a big role in it, but I think that the thing that pushed me over the edge happened after the Overseer showed up."

"What did he do?"

"He blessed me with the most delicious bowl of ramen I've ever tasted, which somehow turned into an erotic experience. At one point I even came in my pants."

"Oh, God."

"It's not like I wanted to have a pasta fetish."

"Don't say "I came in my pants" while I'm eating."

"Sorry."

Natalie sighs deeply.

"You know, when you read about occultists going nuts, you never think it would happen to you or anyone you know."

"I'm not nuts, I'm just perverted in a weird way."

"No, you're nuts."

"Don't be mean."

She looks at him with a fierce gaze.

"Fuck you."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Yes, I'm mad at you! We've known each other for three years, we're even living together, and freaking pasta turns you on more than I do!? I'm sick of it! I'm sick of being in love with you! I thought "God's Will will bring us together" so I didn't confess or anything, and now freaking pasta gets in my way!"

"Woah, chill!"

"Every day I work out just for you! Just so you could look at me the way you're looking at your food right now, and now you tell me this freaking pasta turns you on more than I do! I stopped wearing bras at home just so you could see me as a woman! I've sent you so many hints and you missed all of them! And now pasta… freaking pasta..."

Natalie starts crying.

"I… I'm sorry I've been so dense. Everything is my fault-"

"It sure is your fault, you freaking… Pervert…"

"Yes, it's my fault, but please look at it from point of view. I have a really low opinion of myself and because of that I didn't think anyone would've ever fallen in love with me. In high school you were the only friend I've had, since everyone else shunned or ridiculed me because I was weird and interested in occult stuff. People think I'm high or tripping when I act naturally. I'm 20 years old and I still haven't had a single girlfriend or romantic interest. And now, out of nowhere, for some weird reason I get turned on by freaking food. I don't want to be like this. I… Right now I don't feel the same way towards you as you feel towards me, but I promise I will try to see you as a woman from now on, and maybe sometime in the future I'll even fall in love with you. And then, if you're still up for it, we can try… You know… Dating and stuff."

Natalie wipes her tears.

"You're giving me a chance?"

"Not right now, but sometime in the future… I guess you could say I could maybe see us dating, I guess?"

Natalie smiles.

"I'm sorry I got mad at you."

"It's okay, it's my fault for being so dense all this time."

Natalie smiles. They finish their meal in silence.

"I'll do the dishes, you go take a shower."

"Okay."

"And brush your teeth."

"Yes, Natalie."