19 21st Nightmare

21st Nightmare

NAENAH AKAIBARA'S POINT OF VIEW

Emerald is definitely hiding right now. After all of what we discovered in her clinic, the clinic went closed. I think Mint Stone already knew that we secretly went to her clinic and discovered her secrets. We still can't find the whereabouts of Dark Light.

"Do you still kill?" My psychologist, Lancer, asked.

"Sometimes, if needed."

"Like what kind of situations?" He asked while writing something on his paper.

"In fights."

"Why do you involve yourself in fights?" He asked.

"Because it's my job as a hired killer and I'm in a group now."

"What group?" His forehead knitted.

"Blomst Blades," I revealed, "I know that you're professional and I trust you that you're not going to tell this to anyone."

"I know. I won't," he said, "So what's this Blomst Blades all about?"

"It's private, Lancer. I can't tell you."

"How can I help you if you won't tell me what is Blomst Blades?" He asked, "Naenah, I've been your trusted psychologist for years and I am still that kind of person."

"Okay, just promise me that you won't tell this to anyone."

"Ofcourse. You know me, Naenah," he said in serious tone.

"Blomst Blades is a group of top four female notorious killers in our country."

"Who are the other three female notorious killers?" He asked.

"Crybaby Dahlia, Purple Gumamela and Little Daisy."

He startled a bit when he heard the name of Purple Gumamela and Little Daisy.

"Why did you join the group, Naenah? I thought that you don't want to kill anymore? Here you are and getting yourself involved with murderers."

"We're not murdering innocent people, Lancer. We're killing someone like us. If I can't stop killing someone then I chose to kill criminals not innocent people," I said, "Since I joined Blomst Blades, I feel free."

"You're just being delusional, Naenah," he insisted, "Leave them. Leave the Blomst Blades. You don't know what you're getting yourself in to. You're in danger!"

"I won't. I don't want to leave the Blomst Blades."

"You're really crazy," he chuckled sarcastically, "Didn't you hear what I've just said? Naenah, you're in danger! Why do you keep getting a checkup if you'll just let yourself kill someone until you're satisfied?!"

"Because I can't stop killing! This is my life! I can't remove it to my life! It's like a poison flowing in my bloodstream that I can't never stop!"

"Then stop going to me," he said, "Stop having these fucking check-ups!"

"I can't because I'm still hoping, Lancer!" I said and a tear escaped from my eye, "I'm still that I'll get myself a cure, that someday I'll stop killing. The day that I won't be thirsty for blood. So please, just keep on helping me!"

"If you want my help, then you'll need to listen to my advices. Leave the Blomst Blades. That's the safest thing to do while you still can't harm anyone," he said.

"What do you m-mean?" I stuttered.

"I'll show you your CT scans," he opened his drawing and got something from it, "This is your brain and this is the normal brain. See the big difference from these two," he said while comparing those, "There's a lot of differences, right? That shows that you're literally insane now, Naenah. You might not control your own emotion nor your own self. You're becoming worst. You might not harm them, but soon you will. You might kill your own friends, there's a big possibility for that to happen."

"But..."

"Naenah, you have to decide," he said, "This is not just about your life anymore because your friends' lives are also at risk. You can be totally insane anytime. It depends on you."

"And if I leave the Blomst Blades?"

"You need to go to a mental institution and heal yourself. You can control your own mind right now, but we couldn't tell what happen next," he said, "It all depends on you."

"Give me time to think."

I let the coldness embrace me and rain to pour on me. I just stare at the gloomy skies above me. I just love this kind of weather. Exact weather for an exact emotions.

I just don't know what's happening to me. I just don't know myself anymore. It's way is too deep to understand. It keeps on changing. Changing for worst.

I just don't know why the cruel world keeps on doing this to me. Why me of all people? Why is it always me?

I'm just a lonely person without a knowledge of how love works.

A cold person without warmth.

An insane person without a sense of sane.

A person thirsty for blood because no one gave me water when I needed it.

No one knows all about it.

Reality wake me up from my imaginary thoughts when I felt the rain stopped pouring on me. I discovered that there's an umbrella that's protecting me from the rain.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?!" Andres shouted.

I realized that I am standing and blocking the vehicles' way. A speedy motorcycle is coming in to our way and Andres immediately push me to the side to avoid the car. He accidentally released the umbrella from his hand and a car passed by it that caused it to be destroyed. Andres let the rain pour on him and the motorcycle stopped in front of us.

"Hey! This is not some korean drama! You're not an actor and actress so, don't block the driveway! You even have the guts to do the umbrella scene! Gosh!The teenagers nowadays are so much into korean dramas." The motorcycle driver said and continue driving.

Both Andres and I was startled about what the driver said. We both laughed when we realized what the motorcycle driver said.

"What was that?" Andres laughed, but his laughter immediately fade away when he remembered something, "Are you gonna let the vehicles hit you and kill you?"

"What are you doing here?"

He suddenly avoided my gaze and look somewhere else, "I'm just passing by when I saw you committing a suicide."

"I'm not!"

"If you want to kill yourself, do better than that! You're just embarrassing yourself and disturbing other people!" He yelled.

"I'm not, okay?! Well I can really do better than that! Maybe I can jump from a building or let Tia shoot me," I whispered the second and third sentence.

"What?!" He shouted again.

"You're really old! You can't even hear what I am saying, that's a sign of being old!"

"You're older than me! If I am old then you're older!" He yelled.

"Yeah, I am older, but I don't look older than you. You look older than me," I smirk, "Prinito!"

He was about to grab me when I start to run away from him.

"Come back here, Suicidal!" He yelled again.

"Prinito!" I let my tongue out then run again.

I just want a life like this.

Free from stress.

Free from everything.

I just want to give up.