13 Chapter 12

After three long hours of shopping with Laura, we finally decided to go back home because my feet were killing me. We found Evan and his buddies Nathan, Thomas, and Mark sitting in the living room, eyes glued to the TV screen as usual that I doubt they even heard me when I said hi. The room was a mess like Evan didn't even hear a word I said before I left. I shook my head and headed to my room so I put my clothes away. I even got myself a nice dress to wear to Erastus' birthday party. I took my tablet my tablet and went to the kitchen. I had a meeting with the board early Monday and I had to be ready and go through the papers Natalie sent over. The company is making huge profits that the CEO and the board are thinking of opening another one in New Orleans or London. I sat in the kitchen and got to work.

Nathan entered a few minutes later telling me his wife Annie is inviting Evan and me over for dinner the following day. I didn't like the idea one bit but I am sure she has no idea that my marriage is not at its best at the moment. Nathan is not outspoken so I am not surprised if he didn't tell Annie. I knew that I had to put on an act for the whole evening and the idea of it is already making me sick. I accepted the invitation my wholeheartedly because I have known Annie for years now and she is more than just my husband's friend's wife, she is a friend. She was one of my bridesmaids when I got married.

The day went by fast and the men left after the match. Laura helped me clean up the living room afterward. I am still waiting for the arrogant side of Laura to resurface to but it looks like she changed. She usually doesn't stay in the same room as I am for long unless her father is there. I worry that I will not be a very good mother and that thought scares me, but on top of that, I am excited. Even though things aren't great with Evan right now, I am excited that I am going to be experiencing the joy of being a mother and I could not be more grateful to God.

The following night Evan and I were supposed to meet at Nathan's house for dinner but he bailed. He didn't just bail on me this time, which is something I am used to by now, but also on his best friend. I had to make up an excuse as to why Evan did not make it. Luckily Annie believed me but her husband is very much aware of what is going on so he kept digging into his food without eating while I was busy lying to his wife. It is such a shame. Nathan, Annie, and I had dinner and it turns out they wanted to tell us that Annie is pregnant. I congratulated them. I was happy for them. My dear husband is nowhere to be found when he is supposed to be celebrating the good news with his friend. I don't even know why I even call him my husband.

I thanked Annie for the dinner and decided to head out. I had work tomorrow. Nathan offered to walk me to the door. I had a feeling he had something to say, which turned out to be true because as we stepped out of the house, he asked, "Why do you do that to yourself, Liz? Why cover up for him when you have no idea where he is or who he is with?"

I had no idea what to say. "I don't know. Sometimes I just have to do it to avoid all the questions people ask and would ask if I told them the truth. I think I'd rather do this than tell answer the 'what happened' question I don't have answers to." I managed to say. He opened the door for me and I got into my car but before I could drive off, he asked, "Is he worth it?" I didn't have to answer that question because he turned to leave immediately after those words left his mouth.

On my way back home, Nathan's words kept playing over and over and had me lost in my thoughts. I tried to find an answer to it. Was he worth it? I don't need Evan, and it's not like I would have nowhere to go if I leave him. I still have no idea why I am still living with him up to now. As I approached the house, I saw Evan's car entering. I parked my car in the garage and followed him into the house.

I found him on the couch going through his phone. "I am so sorry, I am only seeing your missed calls right now. Everything alright?" he asked. A part of me wanted to punch him in the face but a whole bigger part of me had no time to waste. "Yes," I replied briefly, paused, and continued after a minute or two. "Did you forget we were supposed to have dinner with Nathan and Annie or did you just had other priorities over your wife and best friend?" I walked past him into the kitchen for a glass of water.

He sighed and followed me into the kitchen still looking into his phone. "I am sorry I didn't show up to dinner today. I had....." I interrupted him before he could finish. "Evan, I did not invite you for dinner, so just save the apology for Nathan and Annie. As for me, I am already used to you bailing on me all the time. I said flatly. "Please let me finish. I know you didn't invite me for dinner but I know you expected me to be there, if not for you then for Nathan and Annie. I thought I at least owe you an explanation." he said.

I looked at him and shook my head. "Save it. I can't keep doing this anymore. You do this and that, you bail on me now and then and you think an apology or an explanation is all I need and all is forgotten? An apology without change is just manipulation. Last week you bailed at lunch with your parents. YOUR parents Evan! Let me ask you something, where is Laura? Where is your daughter? I bet you don't even know she went on a school trip because you are never home. Sometimes I wonder why you even come home at all." I said and walked up to my room without looking back.

By the time I got to my room, I was already crying. I locked my door, lay on my bed with no energy to change into my pajamas. I guess I kept it inside for so long that I broke down in tears. I remembered Nathan's question and now I have an answer. He is not worth it. I didn't see myself fall asleep and I looked horrible when I woke the following day. I never thought there'd be a day when I will cry myself to sleep but I did. I put on some makeup because it was evident and I don't want to be asked questions. During my lunch hour, I went to see my lawyer because I am planning to file for divorce. Afterward, I busied myself with work and forgot about my problems.

It was finally Erastus' birthday and I made my way to the beach house a little earlier just to do some final checkings. Erastus and Rose joined me afterward so he could be present to welcome the guests when they arrive. Guests started arriving one by one and it was quite a turn-out. As the evening came, Erastus popped the question and Rose said yes to marrying him. I couldn't be happier for them. I went over to congratulate them and I acted like I didn't know it was going to happen.

"I have to give you credit Liz, this party is amazing. I even have a fiancée now and I don't think there was or will be a birthday party that will top this one. Thank you, Liz." Erastus said giving a hug. "It's nothing. You would do the same for me." I said while looking at Rose's ring which she seems to love so much.

I was proud of myself but pretending like I wasn't the one that chose it took the fun out of it. I was happy that my friend was getting the credit for his awesome choice though. "So, Liz, when are we decorating the baby's room? Sorry to sound eager but babies just make me happy." Rose said with a big smile on her face. I smiled and replied, "No, you don't sound eager. I do not know when, but I think it's early and I still don't know what the baby's gender is so I think it's a bit early."

"Liz I am that child's godfather. That has already been decided. Evan can make whoever he wants the godmother. As far as the godfather is concerned, that spot has already been filled. I am not even asking." Erastus said. I didn't even have anything to say to that after that speech. I just looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

I decided to leave the party early because I felt really tired. I was expecting Laura's call since she calls me every night while she is on the school trip. She called the moment I got home. We talked for a while and I said good night because I was really tired. I prepared the bath because a warm long bath was just what I needed before I sleep.

These days I see less and less of Evan. It's like we don't live in the same house. He comes home to shower and change and goes to God knows where. I have come to a point where I stopped caring whether he sleeps at home or not.

If I could go back in time, I would make sure Evan and I never crossed paths because this is not how I want my life to be. I made up my mind that I am filing for divorce. He can do whatever he wants afterward and I don't have to torelate the disrespect any longer. The thought of Laura going through this again makes me feel worse. Her parents had to fight now and then about who she stayed with that it had to go to court. Evan was advantaged because he was married and had a steady job at that time and Laura came to live with us. I know I am choosing what is best for me but I know she will be greatly affected by the divorce. Evan alone cannot take care of her and let's not even talk about her mother who has been a mess ever since she lost custody of Laura. I can't help but feel like my hands are tied. I drifted to dreamland hoping for a better tomorrow.