1 1. Death & Life

I was dying, it was cold, so cold, yet a part of me was warm, yet growing colder, as my

life-blood flowed out of me onto the cold ground.

As my body grew colder and colder, there was but one thought in my mind, 'I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!'.

It seemed like there was nothing I could do, but as I lay there dying my mind was frantically searching for anything, anything at all that may save me.

Alas, I could think of nothing, except one crazy idea, I vaguely recalled a book I once read, where the Main Character developed a technique, where through sheer willpower he was able to survive after death and reconstruct his dissipating soul.

I always wanted to live in a world of Magic, but sadly I was born on the mundane planet of Earth, where no magic existed. Sure I was grateful for being brought into existence and for the time period I was born in, for many others had it worse, but Magic was my Dream!

Bleeding slowly to Death I did one thing, I concentrated on myself, my being, my existence, and I tried so hard to will myself to continue existing, even without a body in any shape or form that would allow my continued existence, I concentrated so hard if I wasn't already dying, I would've probably died of a brain annerism any other time I tried this.

Then it happened, all the pain fell away, it felt so comfortable my concentration all but slipped away, but I steeled myself once again.

Slowly while still focusing on myself, and my continued existence, I cracked my eyes open to see my surroundings.

Darkness as far as I could see, or not see. I then tried touching my face, nothing.

As far as I could tell I was surrounded by Darkness, by nothing.

Yet I continued to exist.

Coming to this conclusion, I Realized it worked.

Against all odds it worked!

__________

Floating, or not floating, surrounded by the darkness, time seemed to have lost all meaning.

This Place was like when you went to sleep by didn't dream, and when you tried to recall it, there was nothing, but darkness.

After some time, I slowly got used to the creeping darkness for at first it was quite unsettling, but my continued thoughts were all I needed for comfort, for thought was all I needed for proving my continued existence.

Though slowly I fell to the bad habit of most living things, I wanted more.

At first I wasn't able to do anything but think, so I thought of my past life of all my mistakes and successes, and sadly my mistakes outweighed my successes. Yet the one and only success that mattered was somehow using my willpower to survive, even after death.

As I recalled my life over and over again, each time it felt like I remembered more and more tiny details that I thought long forgotten, until eventually I was able to recall my entire life with perfect clarity.

I suddenly realized the incredibleness of being able to do such a thing, it was almost like magic.

The second thing I tried to do was of course magic. I started small, trying to make a small light. I tried for what seemed forever, first trying to will it into existence, then when that wasn't working, I remembered the Harry Potter books.

Over and over in my thoughts I said the word 'Lumos, Lumos, Lumos!' I said it so many times it became a chant, then it seemed like I was saying gibberish, yet nothing happened. I was almost on the verge of giving up on this method and thinking of another way to try it.

That's when it happened, I thought I felt a tremor in the darkness, at first I thought it my imagination, but that was quickly dissproven when I felt it again, and again, each time stronger than the next. Then I was suddenly moving, or moving faster, for if I was moving before I had no way of knowing, but now I could tell, because at the end of my vision I could see the smallest pinprick of light.

At first I was excited, to see something new, but then I panicked for, I was literally going towards the light!

That's what happens when you die!

Try As I might I couldn't do anything, so the only thing I could do was once again focus all my willpower, which seemed to have grown, from 100% to 150%, for as my mind did more things it seemed like there was one big part that focused on my continued existence and another smaller part that focused on my ideas, like reviewing my memory and trying to do magic, that small part grew the more focused and determined I became to do something.

So using my willpower that had grown by half, I focused my entire mind into one thought of my continued existence as my body, soul, or whatever I was that contained my thoughts grew closer and closer towards the light.

When I went through the light it felt like my soul was being shredded of its most outer layers, but I gritted my non-existent teeth and continued to focus on my existence. That's when it happened my earliest memory was ripped away from my being, but luckily for whatever reason it grew back. This happened over and over again. For whatever reason though my memories grew back time and time again, but each time the pain grew greater and greater, until I thought I would be totally obliterated the next time it happened. But it didn't as the surroundings suddenly became dark again.

There was no more pain, there was only the familiar Darkness, yet as I imagined myself to be looking at my surroundings, it seemed different, it was still dark, yet it seemed to be tinged with a warmth that the previous darkness did not have.

After some time I thought I felt more tremors and as such began panicking for what was to come next, so I prepared myself for another round of Light and soul shredding. But it never came the tremors came and went, and soon I recognized a pattern or rhythm, as the tremors became less and less like a tremor, and more and more like a beat.

But what was beating, I knew not.

For all this was new and fascinating, for I had long ago condemned myself to a being of thoughts surrounded by never-ending darkness where my only company was my own thoughts, and whatever actions those thoughts might provoke or create.

The Beats grew louder and louder until, they grew no more, yet they continued on their rhythm. Time finally seemed to have returned to my senses after listening to the beat and it's rhythm for so long. I even thought I heard some voices, once in awhile, at first I thought I might be going crazy, or developing another personality. I quickly realized I was not for my willpower had grown by another half after the tunnel of light and soul shredding, and I used it to search all my thoughts and memories and found everything in order.

I Then thought I should design a system of measurement to record my willpower and it's growth, but my thoughts were interrupted by something, and that something was music!

The Music seemed classical in nature, and as soon as I grew used to this new phenomenon, it suddenly disappeared. Over the course of I don't know how long the music came and went and I thought to keep track of time with the rhythm of the beat, but the music seemed random. So I decided to create a measurement of time using the beat of the rhythm. just when I was about to succeed with my measurement of time, something else unexpected happened.

The Light returned!

At first I was horrified but the light just stayed where it was, but then slowly the darkness around me started to move and contract, and with each contraction I was gently pushed towards the light. The contractions got bigger and bigger, then rougher and rougher, which made me prepare for the worst, another round of soul shredding. Gratefully it never came though as I once again used all my willpower now being 200% of my original amount, to once again used my will to continue the existence of my being.

As I was pushed once again into the light, the tunnel of light was much shorter than last time, and thankfully with no soul shredding. As the tunnel of light fell away, I was once more prepared for the darkness, but I was greeted with a swath of colors and sounds that I was suddenly unable to make out, all I could hear was crying, then I suddenly realized I was the one crying. Then I was overjoyed I had a voice once again, and as I tried to say "Hello" all I ended up saying was "Wwwaaaaaa!"

That's when I realized I was a baby!

At first I was horrified, then I was petrified, but soon I was gratified, yes I was a helpless baby, but I had a body, a body that would grow!

I soon found myself in the hands of the Doctor who passed me to my mother on her hospital bed, which I could now make out, because my surroundings became clearer, if not a little blurry.

As I found myself looking up towards my mother's face, I soon noticed the red locks of hair falling over and around her face and just out of my reach, as I tried to grab one of the bright velvet red ropes of hair, but soon felt my body's energy wane as I fell asleep within my mother's embrace.