4 Chapter 3: First day

Sitting here in the car I continue telling myself that nothing bad will happen to me again and again but it's seems that is ot not working, just the thought of stepping out of the car I feel like my heart is jumping out of my throat.

But I have to do it for mom and dad, at some point for myself, I don't wanna be a spectator of my own life anymore.

'So my girl you can do it, let go now before we regretted it ' my inner voice is telling me so I decide to listen to her ' let do it, courage don't mean you don't fear anything, the real courage is to confront your fears no matter how horrible you feel' , ok let do it.

It's weird to feel the sun on my skin but I made it, I stepped out the car.

The parking lot is almost empty except for two cars parked near the entrance, and there is no student outside, better for me, at least a few more minutes before I have to confront anyone.

Dad insisted on accompanying me for my first day, even if he had accepted this stupid idea, he still fears how things will work out. So I put on my most convincing fake smile to reassure him that I can do it.

He gets off the car and approaches me.

" my Daisy you don't have to do it you know, if you don't feel like you can bear going through it we can just go back home"

I lift my eyes and look at those blue eyes still smiling " I know, I am exhausted to being scared I just want to be normal "

He kneels in front of me so our eyes was at the same level

" you don't have to try to be like others to be normal and normality is boring, is the way you are that make you special and I love you for what you are not what you can be"

With those sweet words, he is just trying to comfort me, maybe the loving part is true but I have to do it

" Dad I know it all but I can do it"

I still repeat it in my mind like a mantra to give me courage

" you can go now I still have to find where are my classes and I want to do when there is no one when I am making fool of myself "

he lift himself on his foot and look at me intently but I maintain my fake smile more brighter each second to the point I feel my cheeks muscles ache

" ok Daisy, have a good day then, in any case call me if you feel like you can't do it, I love you "

I hug him, he is a bit surprise because I am not the hugging type but he needs this I can feel it maybe I need a little bit of comfort too. "

bye Dad have a good day "

He climbs into the car and drives off the parking lot. Still repeating my mantra I cross the distance from the parking lot to the entrance.

From the front door there is a great hall with high glass ceiling, there are two spirals staircases one on each side and I count at least five floors. Doors a lot of them, each one in different color and each key hole different from the others ' where should I go, there no one on sight ' so I climb the left stairs to the first floor and try to open the first door un reach but it's closed. The same for the second, the third all of them are closed and I am having a bad feeling about it. The front door is opened, a little blond girl no more than five years old passes through and gets to the front hall, she seems so weary and sad. Her steps are soundless, to where I am standing it's doesn't seem like she were walking, better say floating.

' Oh no she is covered in blood ' she is wearing a blue flowered dress and it's covered with blood stains, her hair is all mess up and I seem to visualize fresh blood dribbling from her bare arms.

"Wait I cry out" she doesn't seem to have heard me. She is directing herself to one of the doors of the first floor. I run to climb down the right stairs they seem to be closer to where she is going.

" Wait " I say again out of breath, still no response from her. The front door open again to let enter a young man, I can't distinguish his features from where I am just he too has blond hair. He running trying to catch up with the little girl I hear him scream.

"Anna...Anna stop...please don't " He screamed to her. For a moment she jerked back her head a gave him a sad smile

" I have to go, he is waiting for me " she responded with a little voice that make me feel such sadness, and resumes walking toward the door, I find myself paralyzed by sorrow, I try to scream after her again but I couldn't, everything where disappearing. First the upper floors, the stairs and finally all the doors of the floor where we were except for one which flew open, I could see some sort of shadows on the other side but nothing more and the little girl was each passing second closer to the open door. The young man was still trying to catch up with her.

" Anna don't..." he said.

" I have to and you know it, It's hurt to much" she responded. When she was about to cross the door she jerked her head for the last time giving him a smile. Shadowy forms encircled her entirely before she disappear from sight. With a loud thud the door get close on the face of the young man.

" Watch out " said a distant voice and I wake up from my drowsiness state feeling shaken and exhausted for all the emotions. I found myself in the standing middle of the parking lot of people looking a me and I couldn't understand with until I heard a car honks behind me.

'Oh no, oh no' the classes hadn't begun yet I have already made a foul of myself, now each one of them should be thinking I am some sort of freak. I hurried myself to the front door to avoid the stare upon me.

'I still can make it ' I repeat in my mind. I just have to avoid attracting attention upon me for the rest of the day.