3 Chapter 2: Getting ready

"you can do it, you can do it" I keep repeating myself for the hundredth time. It's not like I'm not going to some alien planet, it's just high school, just high school. With other teenagers, professors, classrooms and others stuffs school related. I can do it, only coward hear their fear, I have been a coward most of my life dreading everything and it's been almost two years since the last time I exited my house. I have spent most of my life between the four walls of my bedroom, if I need something, buy it on the internet or I ask my father to buy it for me but sometimes I couldn't get what I really want because even with the best description of things I needed He can't get it right, and I can't complain about it because he is already doing his best effort for things to work out good for everyone.

Because of fear I dread exiting my house, making friend and most of the thing normal people does daily and this situation ought to stop. For all those years I have been like a spectator, alive by not really living because I never got the courage to do everything I really wanted to do relying onto others first my mother and next my father to deal with situations I couldn't or wouldn't confront for cowardice.

Maybe Maddie is alright, even if I still hate her and won't forgive her for doing me this, I can use this occasion for a new beginning, to really live not being a spectator without voice and opinion over nothing.

After two years I going to pass through the front door, exit the house , got to school and try to make a least one friend.

I can do it for mom and dad, I know he is sad of my situation. And if mom was still alive it would have crushed her her heart. And most importantly I have to do it for myself.

After repeating myself for the two hundredth time I force myself to look at a mirror for the first time after five years.