5 Chp 4 - Reflection

Xan POV

"I haven't gone to the cafeteria in a long time," I recalled

"When do you eat when you're dancing all the time?" Reo questioned

"I eat when I'm hungry when I'm hungry I eat," This was something I had already said.

"Well, when are you hungry?"

"When I'm hungry, I'm hungry there isn't anything more to it,"

"There's an empty table over there!" Kai exclaimed, pointing his finger at it.

Everyone all went to the table sitting down and took out their food, I had one cup each of chopped up chicken breast, and cabbage, in total it was about 253 calories adding to the 145 calories I had this morning so after I ate this I would have eaten about 339 calories today. Yes, my math skills are amazing.

"Your chicken is boring mine is much more exciting, behold my chicken katsu!" Reo took off the lid of his lunch box revealing the chicken Katsu Curry with Rice.

"There is about 448 calories in that meal,"

"Why do you know such a random thing?"

"I have eaten that before so surely I should know how many calories are in it?"

"Did you use to want to be a dietitian or something?" Reo's dimples were showing, as he smiled.

"I thought you were a robot for a second when you said that, saying how many calories are in a meal" Kai interjected.

"Well it wasn't the exact amount, of course, it was just how many calories are normally in a plate of Chicken katsu curry with rice,"

"Well, I think it's impressive," Vincent stuttered.

"Thank you," I just got a compliment~ Yay~ Can I ruffle his hair. I'm going to ruffle it.

I ruffled his hair, it had just looked so soft, of course, Kai's hair had looked more fluffy. But he wasn't my friend yet.

Wait what was I thinking wanting to become friends with more people. The people I become close with only get hurt.

Vincent's eyes widened and a flush crept up his face. It was as soft as it looked, I put my other hand in his hair, it felt like the fluffy white clouds of heaven.

Although I don't think I had ever felt the clouds of heaven before to know what it felt like. But I assumed it felt a bit like this.

"What are you doing~?" he murmured he covered his face flustered.

"Your hair is soft, it is impossible to not touch it," It was just a fact.

"I personally think Kai's hair is softer," Reo insisted

As an example, Reo ruffled Kai's hair. Kai was too busy eating his lunch which consisted of only steam buns he didn't pay any mind to it.

Vincent's lunch was the most balanced, it was pasta, meat, a salad, and also fruit. I, by now had drunk my water bottle dry. I needed to go to the bathroom as well as refill it. I stood up to leave, not continuing the conservation.

"I'm going to the bathroom,"

"Okay goodbye, make sure to be safe," Reo chimed.

Kai waved and Vincent followed his lead waving as well. I left my bags there entrusting them to them and left with my water bottle. I quickly filled up my bottle and ran to the bathroom

I walked in to see a handsome figure admiring his reflection he had light brown hair, with some blonde on the ends of his hair. He had copper-brown eyes and round golden rimmed glasses along with white rosy smooth skin. He hadn't noticed me yet and he took off his glasses to wipe them.

I glanced at his reflection in the mirror, my breath was caught in my throat. His reflection had emerald green eyes and platinum blonde hair. His reflection was shirtless with abs and had glacial blue scales that trailed up his arm.

He had a gold necklace and bracelets. I blinked again and his reflection went back to normal. When I blinked again I saw the other reflection, it disappeared with another blink. I wondered if the other reflection looked anything like how his actual body looked like. Ahh, stop thinking about it! I inwardly slapped my cheeks.

Seeing how he was looking at his reflection like that. It seemed that he may be Dae-Hyun Moon the narcissistic film student. He reportedly liked to eat fish, he actually ate fish everyday.

But in the reflection I saw just now he looked completely different, something like a merman? Stop thinking about it and move on. I went to the bathroom stall and locked the door then doing my bussiness.

Should I try looking at other people's reflections when I have the chance? Wait I saw other people's reflections in dance class all the time, how was Dae-Hyun any different from them?

My jaw tightened, was I imagining things? I decided to brush it off there was nothing I could do about it anyways. I accidently tripped over on nothing and hit my head on the wall. Ouch.

"Are you okay in there?" He seemed concerned.

"...Yes,"

"You didn't sound okay," He doubting my words.

"Completely and utterly fine,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I replied

I rubbed my throbbing forehead and walked back out the door.

"Your foreheads a bit pink,"

"It's always been like that,"

"Then it's pinker than usual," He rebutted

"You should call in sick and have some rest at home just in case," Dae-Hyun suggested

"I'm fine,"

"Really?" He questioned

Why was Dae-Hyun so worried about me, when he didn't even know me?

"You should be cautious and have some rest just in case, you don't want it to get worst!"

Maybe there was more to this Dae-Hyun guy than his narcissm he seemed like a really caring person... Too caring.

"I'm really fine, okay?"

"Well, I'll let you off just this once,"

"But let me give you my phone number and you can call me if you need any help,"

I reluctantly took out my phone and he typed his phone number in saving himself as Dae-Hyun.

"If you want you can put me as your emergency contact," Dae-Hyun offered

"I'm fine,"

"Well...Okay,"

"I'll be off now," He walked backward watching me as if he was afraid I would faint when he wasn't looking and he slowly left.

I let out a sigh and washed my hands. Then I headed back to the cafeteria water bottle in hand.

I sat back down at the lunch table glad that my things were still safe.

"I'm glad to see that you came back alive," Reo said, he leaned on his arms relaxed

"I am glad that I am alive as well, "

It was kind of pleasant to eat with others. Of course, I wouldn't tell anyone this. I glared at Kai what kind of person picked someone up while they were dancing, he could've at least waited for me to finish.

"I think you owe an apology~" Reo chimed

"Hmmm...? Why?" Kai was clueless to what Reo was talking about.

"Well, you kind of picked up someone who was in the middle of dancing," Vincent recounted

"I'm...Sorry...Then?" Kai tilted his head

"It'll do, I guess," I lifted my shoulders in a half shrug.

Then I suddenly saw a certain person approaching Reo from behind. I didn't care to say anything. He pounced on his shoulders,

"Boo!" He yelled Reo jumped out of his seat and then looking behind himself.

It was his brother Akuma, he let out a loud cackle. He glanced at me for a moment his expression once again twisting slightly before going back to normal. I don't think he liked me for some reason.

"What was that for?" Reo pouted and crossed his arms glaring at his older brother.

"Sorry, it was just the perfect opportunity, who am I to miss out on it?"

"And look at that you have two new friends, I was afraid your only friend would be Kai for the rest of your life," He teasingly with a big snarky grin on his face.

"Well what about you, you scared all your friends away didn't you?"

"Ah, they said they were forever mentally scarred from my writing, it really hurt my feelings~"

"Even when they don't have any deaths how come people get so scared from my stories?"

"It's because you're a good writer," Reo replied

"Oh really~, I just got a compliment from my little brother?"

"But in the future, only the most hard-core of horror enthusiasts would read your stories if you were to become an author,"

"I can write in other genres you know,"

"But you have a talent, a talent to make any story twisted," Reo rebuked, his eyes crinkled up in a smile.

"Ah, it wasn't my choice to be this way," Akuma pouted and sat next to Reo sliding Kai along the seat.

Kai seemed oblivious to what had happened, he had eaten his fifth steam bun by now.

"How do you not get tired of eating so many steam buns?" I wondered

"They are different flavours, tomorrow I'm going to have different flavours of dumplings, I like to have some variety you know?"

Vincent awkwardly stayed in his seat as he ate his food slowly, there was a light shade of pink on his face. He seemed to not be used to sitting with so many people. Vincent seemed a bit overwhelmed.

"No one said you could sit with us," Reo whined

"Ah little brother, big brother will always get his way anyways, so don't bother to resist~" Akuma insisted

"...hmph" Reo crossed his arms and blew out his cheeks, it seemed that his older brother did always get his way from the way he reacted.

You could really see the big contrast in their personalities when they interacted with each other. A corner of Akuma's mouth lifted up and he poked his brothers cheek. He simpered looking incredibly proud of himself. After a while, the bell rang and it was time to go to class.

____

3rd Person POV

"Class today we are doing oil painting, so make sure to put on protective gloves and clothing," The teacher announced

"Yay~ what should I paint?" He asked the person next to him.

"Stranger danger, don't talk to strangers," The classmate next to him chimed turning away, it seemed he was talking to himself

"But I'm your classmate?"

"Stranger danger," he repeated

"...?" Kai was really confused

"Kai please stop talking so loudly in class, I know it is hard for you but you must control yourself," The teacher scolded.

The class changed and then came back.

"Now everyone, go and get your materials and tools,"

Everyone got their things and waited for further instructions

"Now paint this pot," The teacher took the white cover off the pot as if revealing something amazing, but it really was just a pot. Everyone got started, and Kai quietly hummed as he painted. He asked the other classmate next to him

"What do you think of my humming?"

"This is an art class, not a music class you know," It was sad how Kai never sat next to someone talkative enough to continue the conservation. He really had some bad luck.

So instead of talking Kai just spent his time painting. Kai liked to talk to people while he painted but there was no one to talk to he could only talk to himself

"Wow, Kai your painting skill good,"

"Yes thank you, Kai you very kind,"

"Yes, thank you I very kind,"

"What you paint Kai?"

"Oh, I paint pot, Kai,"

"Oh, that very interesting, Kai,"

"I can't concentrate on painting with you talking to yourself Kai," His classmate snapped

"Oh, sorry ehehe," He rubbed the back of his nape.

He immediately shut up feeling a bit down the rest of the lesson

____

Xan POV

The bell rung meaning the end of the school day, just like yesterday I was going to stay behind to practice.

"Don't stay too late," Mrs. Cardinal said

"Okay," I replied

As always I did my stretches first and then started dancing, and once again after I finished a dance I heard clapping again. Was it him again? I took off the blindfold and once again hands covered my eyes.

"Guess who it is~," He said in a singy-songy voice.

"I don't know your name idiot," I said with a poker-face, I grabbed his wrists and pried his hands off my face. I could feel the Goosebumps on my skin.

"Oh, then I'll give you a clue it starts with 'A'" He made an 'A' shape with his fingers.

"I give up, I don't care what your name is,"

"Then I'll just tell you, It's Aaron, what's your name?"

"...Xan"

"San?"

"Xan,"

"Sounds the same to me, San and Xan," he replied

"It doesn't to me," I rebutted

"Well, that's because it's your name,"

"and because it's my name you should pronounce it how it should be pronounced,"

"Okay, sure~" He leaned on one leg and gave a dismissive wave of his hand.

"So why are you here again?" I interrogated

"Just wanted to see you dance again, you're good at it you know,"

"..."

"You don't just start watching someone you should ask first, and I should be good with how long I've been dancing"

"Can I watch you dance?"

"No," I rejected

"Why not?" he huffed

"Because I said so, obviously," Aaron inched closer

"How about you can watch me act and I can watch you dance?" He suggested

"Why would I would I want to watch you act?" I guess his elective is theatre.

"Why wouldn't you want to?"

"..."

"How about I show you a bit of my acting, I'm good I promise you,"

"...Sure," It couldn't hurt to watch a bit.

"Alexander, ever since the day I met you I have been in love with you," Aaron had an earnest expression immediately getting into acting mode.

"It doesn't matter if you love me back, but I want to confess my undying love for you, I want you to know I'll do anything for you," He stepped closer to me, it seemed he was acting as if I was Alexander

"So can you give me just one kiss," Before I knew what was happening, his soft lips were on mine. His hands pulled me in from the back of my head.

My heartbeat sped up and I shuddered. My face turned scarlet and I pushed him away from me. My whole body felt hot, and I felt nauseous.

"What was that for?" I glowered, why'd he kiss me all of a sudden, I'd rather prefer he kissed my fist.

"It's just part of my acting," He toyed with a lock of his hair and chuckled

"Are you blushing?" He teased

"No," I jerked my face away from his view to hide my red face. I could feel a bit of anger rise up inside of me.

Xan calm down, I tried hard to keep my expression neutral. I really wanted to scowl at him right now.

"I'm pretty sure you were~,"

"So how about it?" He asked

"About what?"

"Will you let me watch you dance? I can act some more?" He bounced on his toes waiting for an answer anxiously.

"...No, I am not interested in your acting,"

"With that blindfold of yours would you notice if I was watching?" He raised an eyebrow provokingly.

"Of course I would, I get a bad feeling when you're watching me dance,"

"Then why didn't you stop before?"

"I'm not the kind of person that would stop dancing halfway," Maybe I should start wearing my mask even when I'm wearing my blindfold starting today…

"Such dedication,"

"..."

"Okay I won't watch you any longer, bye then," As he left I realized I should've checked his reflection, I had been too flustered and nauseous.

It was too late now. After checking he was gone I continued to dance. My face still felt hot, it was hard to concentrate now, it had been my first kiss.

Ah, my pure innocent self has been tainted by a kiss. But was I really that innocent I didn't know. This feeling would go away with dancing, wouldn't it?

But despite dancing until I couldn't anymore I panted taking, in short, breathes my chest rose and fell. The feeling didn't go away, maybe it had even made it worst. I ripped off my blindfold and I lay on the ground looking at the ceiling.

Tears welled up in my eyes and fell down my face. I had been saving my first kiss. Not sure for who but I had been saving it. Not that there would be anyone to take it away from me. Until now.

My limbs ached and I didn't want to get up. I squeezed my eyes together, my vision had gone blurry. It was late now. I could barely move I was exhausted, I didn't want to sleep on the floor. I desperately took in short breathes

...Perhaps?

I could call Dae-Hyun he said I could call him if I needed help but, would he come here just to help me to my room. It was either that or the options of sleeping on the studio floor. Or was I being a bit too dramatic here?

I moved my tired body dragging myself toward my bag feeling my lunch rising up with every second. It felt so far away, when I finally reached it, it felt like I had crossed a whole desert with no water. I unzipped the bag, and took out my phone and dialed Dae-Hyun's number. He answered right away.

"Who is this?"

"Xan from the bathroom,"

"Do you need my help? Are you hurt?" He questioned frantically

"Can you help me to my room? I'm in studio 2,"

It took all my will power to move, I had gone a bit overboard this time. Drunk on adrenaline I danced with all my emotions. I propped myself up against the wall and my body hurt a lot.

"I'll be right there! Don't hang up," I could hear the sound of him putting on his shoes and unlocking the door.

The sounds of his feet hitting the ground came through the phone. Worst case should I vomit out the window? No, I shouldn't do that. In record time Dae-Hyun arrived out of breath, and with his phone in his hand. He spotted me and ran towards me.

"Are you okay?"

"...Yes," I hope I wasn't bothering him too much.

"Oh right," He picked me up into a princess carry.

I felt a bit uncomfortable with him touching me. But what could I do?

"Are you okay?" He asked

"Not really," I could feel his arms that held me.

"I was really worried you know when you called me so late, I reckon you were dancing too much,"

"I don't normally dance so much that I can't move,"

"Oh really?" He murmured

"It's fine,"

"You're so light you should eat more,"

"How about I cook you dinner?" He suggested

"Oh, you don't have to do that," I replied

"No, I insist,"

"Well, if you insist," I'm hungry.

We headed back together after getting my bags and Dae-Hyun started cooking for me, there were actually quite a few kitchens since it would be too crowded with only one. Luckily not everyone in the school stayed in the dorms. I asked what he was cooking but he wanted to keep it secret and told me to go back to the dining room. I waited and he came out with 2 plates and a pan of kimchi fried rice. He put down a heat-resistant mat and put the pan on top of it.

He held a hand up telling me to wait, and he got us spoons. The amount I had was about 2 cups which meant it was about 610 calories. We both ate silently enjoying our meal.

"You should eat more!" He said after I finished my plate, of course, I had room for much more food. But I didn't eat when I wasn't hungry.

After eating I was no longer hungry though I still wanted more.

"I'm fine,"

"With all the dancing you do you should be eating more, and your so light!"

He shovelled more rice onto my plate, I guess I could eat more I still hadn't reached my limit of 2500 calories. I ate the second plate clean, I had never eaten so much at once in a long time. It was sad even though I had muscles I was still light.

"Hey, don't ever hesitate to ask for my help again okay?"

"Okay, thank you," I was thankful to him for all he had done.

He insisted on doing the dishes alone but I helped him, he had already cooked food. After that, we said our goodbyes and went back to our rooms.

"See you around at school,"

____

"You may be beautiful on the inside but you sure aren't on the inside,"

Heh, my insides are more beautiful than yours anyways so it doesn't matter.

"The only thing you know is how to use your looks,"

At least I use them better than you.

"You're a disgrace no one would ever want you no matter how beautiful or handsome you are, what really matters is the inside,"

What's wrong with my inside? Is it not beautiful too?

"You can cry all you want but that won't change anything,"

"People like you should just die,"

...Die?

____

Flashback - Xan POV

I used my signature puppy eyes, this always worked it let me get whatever I wanted.

"C-can't I have some?" I made an innocent expression, I could do no wrong.

"Oh, Okay," Adaliz took a spoonful of his food giving some to me.

"Hey, that's no fair you always give your food to him but no to me!" Leo whined

"Haven't you ever heard of favouritism?" Adaliz replied

"I've never heard someone be so straightforward," Leo murmured to himself.

Oh, I have to keep up my innocent image don't I? Almost forgot.

"Favouritism isn't good Adaliz," I blinked a few times for good measure

Adaliz smiled and ruffled my hair.

"Don't worry about it, it's just something that happens in the real world,"

"The real world?" I tilted my head to the side and widened my eyes adding to my image.

Flashback End

With my looks I could manipulate anyone to doing anything for me.

I liked to trick people into thinking I was just a cute, and oblivious person who could do no wrong. I could do anything I wanted and I wouldn't get into trouble.

But I've changed ever since I stopped looking in the mirror.

Because I can't even remember how I look like, if I ever saw a picture of myself I wouldn't recognize that it was me.