Smoke - Chapter 4:

Smoke - Chapter IV:

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Solanum fought to keep her breathing even, as she stood over her sister's vulnerable form.

The fight ended in seconds. Despite the weapons the Capitol had provided, Katniss was down before it even began.

Her stomach churned in discomfort as her sister valiantly tried to stand up despite the injuries Solanum wrought. It was-

It was such a pathetic sight, Solanum fought the urge to puke.

(She did this.)

She tried to keep the injuries minimal. The wounds looked much worse than it actually were, but-

(It wasn't supposed to be this way.)

Katniss wasn't supposed to volunteer. Prim wasn't - she wasn't even supposed to be picked damn it, considering the fact that Katniss and her made sure to minimize the risk of their youngest sister being chosen as much as they could - short of actually stowing away and leaving this country.

The thought of Prim being chosen in the first place didn't even cross Solanum's mind. She was more concerned about Katniss, since the dark-haired girl insisted with taking a tesserae every year, at least one, just in case their luck in hunting wouldn't hold, and had about 16 slips all in all.

(If Solanum was chosen- well, Solanum knew Katniss wouldn't speak up if she was ever reaped; and Solanum wouldn't even want Katniss to do so, if she ever was. Solanum knew Katniss valued Prim way too much to do that and someone needed to provide for their sister's needs.)

(Solanum couldn't. She wasn't all too right in the head, and she wasn't blind to the fact that she sometimes slipped and replied to the ghosts of her previous life. Their mother wasn't exactly the most reliable person for the job either, because even though Solanum loved the woman, even she could see her mother was cracked.)

(...It also wasn't a secret that Solanum was pretty much at the end of everyone's priorities.)

(Solanum's fine with that. Truly. It would absolutely break Prim if Katniss died, and Solanum already sacrificed too much for her family.)

(This- this wasn't even a problem to begin with.)

Clenching her hands tightly - her nails digging into her palms, Solanum hated.

(hated the Capitol, hated people for being fucking cowards and letting this go on for so long, she-)

(-she hated herself.)

(She didn't know she could hate herself more than she already did until her hands were stained - once again - of the blood of a person she swore she would protect, her sister at that, and a part of her - a small, convoluted, hopelessly petty part she couldn't quite squash - actually felt vindictively pleased at Katniss' pitiful state.)

(Solanum disgust herself sometimes.)

"Don't do this, Sol." Katniss whispered hoarsely, her voice pleading as she stood up, panting. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to -" Her voice broke as she begged. "Please. Just stop."

"I couldn't." Solanum smiled tightly, the expression settling on her face strangely. "I wouldn't even if I could. District 12 wouldn't win, Katniss." She paused. "Not with you as the tribute."

Solanum form blurred as she went to her sister's side to knock her out quickly - hoping to finish this as quickly as possible, but she faltered as she noticed how her sister shuddered in fright at her proximity.

(Solanum allowed herself to breath, a moment of weakness passed unnoticed by the people around them.)

(In. She leaned in and let her hands punch through her sister's gut. Katniss sucked in a breath and choked at the sudden pain.)

(Out. Solanum's lips brushed by her sister's ear.)

"Let me do this, Katniss." Solanum murmured wearily, letting herself crack just a moment - for herself at least once before the dominoes fall down, her hair concealing her face momentarily. "For Mama and Prim, if you can't do it for my sake."

She saw how her sister's eyes widened in an emotion she couldn't quite pinpoint, before the dark-haired girl fell into the ground with a loud thump. The sound was almost deafening in the silent clearing and Solanum-

Solanum could only look at them blandly in response, carefully ignoring Prim's cries and protests as she was held down by their mother, as Solanum walked to the stage and stood beside Gale.

(She still...didn't know what to think about the horrendously unfortunate pick. It's understandable, since Gale's tesserae and chances of being picked was more than most considering his age and family - but well, she couldn't help, but curse and inwardly give the world a huge fuck you for being the shitshow that it was.)

(She couldn't quite disregard the fact that Gale made Katniss smile in a way that her and Prim never did managed to.)

"Well, that's quite a show, isn't it?" Effie murmured, breathily.

Solanum smiled, her eyes falling into crescents. She made sure it was. "Of course."

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Her first visitor was Peeta Mellark.

It was a...surprise, since she didn't expect a visitor in the first place after the performance she put on - Kami knew the people were silent throughout the host's excited blathering - let alone someone like Mellark who lived in the better part of the district. The boy was kind though, of that she was certain, although he did stare at Katniss far too much for her liking.

(The burnt bread, though - the bread he gave Katniss once was delicious. Solanum never forget her debts and made sure to buy from his family's bakery whenever they could spare it. His father was quite kind and gave her extras whenever Peeta's mother wasn't around. Prim too, was given the same courtesy, whenever she sells her goat cheese and set aside something for them.)

Solanum's gaze bored down at him measuredly, her gray eyes sharpening as the minutes ticked down with the boy only shifting on his feet.

"Hello." Solanum started politely. "You're Mr. Mellark's son, aren't you?"

"Hi." Peeta croaked out, his voice breaking. "Yes. I'm Peeta Mellark, I was - I mean I want to-" He paused, before straightening up. "I want to say thank you." He continued, his eyes intent and solemn. "I think what you did was brave and I - my father and I - will try to help your family, as much as we could."

Solanum furrowed her eyebrows lightly. "Why?"

"My father was quite partial to you, you know," He smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "He couldn't come up here because well my mother-" He winced as if remembering something. "He wanted to give you his wishes, though."

Solanum was silent, before a knock was heard, signalling that Peeta's time was done. "Thank you." She murmured, accepting the package in Peeta's hand. "I would...appreciate that."

Peeta nodded, smiled at her uneasily before moving on outside.

Solanum started to relax when Peeta was no longer in sight, when Prim came in with their mother in tow.

(Katniss was nowhere in sight.)

(Her chest, inexplicably, start to hurt.)

"Prim." She couldn't quite help, but breathe out. Solanum thought they wouldn't come.

Prim took one long look at her face, before throwing herself in Solanum's lap and broke down. "I-I'm sorry, Sol." Her voice stuttered as her slight form trembled. "It's all my fault." Her expression tightened as she tried to stifle her sobs.

"No. No, it's not your fault, Prim. Don't say that." Solanum argued, pursing her lips. She rubbed her sister's back in comfort. "Hush, now. Come on." Solanum sighed when tears fell down her shoulders, staining the dress her mother set aside for her. "Katniss will be here for you. Just follow her lead, okay? Don't forget to take care of Lady." The older girl smiled as she smoothed her sister's long blond hair. "You'll be fine."

"You'll come back, wouldn't you?" Prim whispered, hugging her tightly.

Solanum paused for a moment too long. "Of course."

Prim stiffened. "You're strong, Sol. You could do it."

"I-" Solanum stopped. "I'll try." She pacified weakly.

When the Peacekeepers came, she looked at her mother and smiled. "Take care of them, Mama."

Her mother stuttered a breath and a tear fell down from her cheeks, the smooth lines in her faces becoming more striking as she grimaced. She glanced at her sadly. "I love you, Sol."

"I know." Solanum whispered, her eyes soft. "Thank you."

She pressed a kiss on the top of their heads, ruffled Prim's hair as her younger sister sneaked a piece of cloth into the pocket of her skirt, before following the Peacekeeper's lead on her sides as they traveled to the train station.