30 I'm Afraid I Would End Up Clipping Your Wings

In the midst of the chaos, a child was crying on the floor of the cafe next to the restaurant. The cafe had caught fires from the repeated explosions next door. Clouds of dark smokes bellowed above him, making it hard to notice him especially when most people's attention laid on the restaurant.

Shouko didn't understand herself.

Once she saw the child, her body moved on its own.

She pushed Kyoya aside, ran toward the restaurant, drenched herself with a pail of water and grabbed a damp tablecloth to cover her body before she slipped past the crowd to enter the cafe.

Even when she heard his desperate cry for her to stop her body kept on moving.

By the time she realized what she had done, she was already standing in the sea of smoke and fire.

"Cough! Cough!"

Shouko covered her mouth and nose, her throat felt hoarse in an instant. The intense heat of the blaze made her uncomfortable yet she braced herself to look for the child.

"Child! Do you hear me?" Shouko shouted in the midst of the roaring fire.

Most of the furniture inside the restaurant had been devoured by the flames, scattering dark clouds and ash in its wake. Her eyes got teary and it was hard to keep them open but Shouko didn't dare to close her eyes for a long time. She squinted her eyes, trying to focus back at the place she had seen before.

"!"

Shouko gasped in surprise. No wonder she couldn't see the child. He had moved to a more secluded place, probably trying to shelter himself.

"Boy, are you okay?" Shouko shouted again, finally succeeded in catching his attention. She jumped to a side, avoided a trail of fire on the floor.

His big orbs blinked, they were wet with tears. The fear in his eyes relieved for a bit once he saw a savior standing in front of him.

"Help me..."

His voice quivered and he sounded so small. Shouko's heart ached in pain seeing his frightful expression.

"Stay still!"

Shouko looked around, the flames within this cafe were getting bigger and bigger and the smoke turned denser. She needed to be quick if she wanted to avoid disaster. At the moment, something heavy fell right above her!

"Ah!"

Shouko dodged the falling ornament. Beads of sweat had started drenching her entire body. She pursed her lip. With a resolute gaze, she jumped over the ornament and ran toward the boy. Shouko crouched down.

"Don't be afraid. You'll be safe," Even in the midst of the chaos, she was still feeling the need to comfort the boy.

Something stirred in her heart when she looked at the boy's hopeful gaze.

The boy nodded. He immediately hugged her.

Shouko cradled the boy. After pressing his small face against her chest to avoid the smoke and covering him under the damp tablecloth, she immediately turned around and ran toward the exit.

The embers kept falling from the ceiling, almost obstructing her escape. Shouko could only dodge them while she supported the child, afraid of him getting burned by the embers. Her breathing turned ragged as the smell of smoke intensified, slowly suffocating her. Even her view became blurry.

The sight of the door became hazier as each second passed.

Just a little bit more...

Shouko dragged her legs that had been weakened due to pressure yet her arms were still securing the boy in a protective embrace. Before she could walk past the door, the burning of her lungs became so fierce, making her consciousness began to drift away.

No... Just a bit more...

When she thought she had done for, in the dimness of her eyesight, Shouko saw a tall figure running toward her. Even in the fleeting second, she could clearly see how anxious his look was. Her body suddenly relaxed and she fell into a pair of strong arms. Both she and the boy were wrapped in his embrace.

At the last moment of her consciousness, Shouko looked straight into the dark eyes laced with worry. A foreign yet familiar image lapped together in her sight. Without her knowing, she muttered out a plea that brought horror to his eyes.

"Save... our child..."

Kyoya was frozen stiff for a second before he regained his reasoning. As much shocked as he was, he still needed to bring her to safety.

"Quick! To the hospital!"

Kyoya barked an order to one of the bodyguards coming to get the child. His face was beyond pale as he carried her toward one of the ambulances that had just arrived.

The paramedics immediately performing first-aid on the unconscious Shouko on their way to the hospital. Kyoya held one of her hands tightly, his entire body trembling at the thought of her suffered due to the repercussions.

The image of her running into the cafe blazing with flame was still deeply etched in his memory. He only had one thing haunted his mind at that time.

That he was going to lose her.

Like at that time.

Realizing how dark his thought had become, Kyoya quickly pulled him back from losing his sanity.

She's safe... She's safe... Nothing happened to her...

Kyoya chanted the same words inside his mind as he tried to calm the beating of his erratic heart. He could only watch the paramedics treating her from the side.

Her cherry-red lips had turned into a shade of blue.

One of the paramedics noticed how pale he was. He seemed to be the oldest among the ones inside the ambulance. He patted Kyoya's shoulder and said gently, "Your wife is safe. She didn't inhale much smoke. Get a grip, young man."

Kyoya could only nod stiffly. Hearing the older man's comforting words, he felt a part of his heart turned lighter.

The hospital was crowded with victims from the fire. Since it was only a small hospital, all of the doctors and medical assistants were in a hurry to treat all of them regardless of their ranks and positions. Luckily there were no heavy casualties among the victims.

Shouko was wheeled into the emergency room. Two doctors and nurses attended to her. Kyoya watched from the side. His fists tightened so much until the sides of his pants creased. After such a torturous waiting did the doctor come and see him. Shouko had been brought to a personal ward.

"Mr. Kashino, the patient Yuasa Shouko, is your wife, correct?" The female doctor scanned the information in her hands before she looked up to see at the disheveled man standing in front of her.

"How's my wife?" Kyoya asked in urgency.

"Mrs. Kashino is fine. She passed out due to shock. Her blood test and arterial blood gas test results came out fine. But, I'm still suggesting to do a chest X-ray once again to detect if there's a delay lung injury."

"You mean..."

"It's just for a precaution," The doctor smiled. The man before him was as young as her son. The intense worry in his eyes meant that he really cared for the young lady lying on the bed. "Take good care of her. I'll come to check on her again after I've done with my patients."

"Thank you, doctor," Kyoya relayed his gratitude.

Once the doctor walked away, Kyoya rushed to his wife's side. Seeing her sleeping without any frown on her delicate face made the complex emotions within him brewed into something thunderous.

Before, her face was stained with soot. Now, she appeared as pure as ever.

Her words before she lost her consciousness lingered in his mind as he looked at her.

Shouko...

Do you remember?

Kyoya pursed his lips. He couldn't pinpoint what exactly he was feeling right now.

He had only grasped a tiny bit of happiness yesterday and this morning when she was still smiling at him even when he revealed his weaknesses.

And, now?

What would happen next?

He didn't want to think of anything else at this moment because it would be another torment to him.

Kyoya gently took one of her hands and enveloped it in his firm grip.

"You're safe..." A lone tear trickled down his cheek. His dark eyes were soon blurred by a layer of mist. "You're safe... that's good. I thought... you would leave me, for real..."

His legs weakened as relief surged in his heart. His knees fell hard on the floor yet he didn't even wince in pain. Kyoya held her hand tight as he repeatedly kissed the tender skin of hers. His shoulders quivered as he let out a silent cry.

Please don't take her away from me. Please. Just... not her.

Don't make me lose someone again.

Night had fallen by the time Shouko regained consciousness. Her face twisted slightly before she properly opened her eyes. She was in a daze when she was met with an unfamiliar sight.

What happened?

Shouko tried to recall the events happening before she passed out. Her eyes widened in fright as the dreadful scene of the fire came inside her mind.

"!"

Shouko sat up. She looked at her left and right. She stiffened when she suddenly met a pair of soulless eyes.

"... Kyoya?" Shouko called him out cautiously. Right now, he appeared so much different than before.

Kyoya was sitting on a stool beside the hospital bed. His eyes were gazing directly at her yet there was no expression on his face. He was so quiet, so indifferent that made Shouko felt something was wrong.

The air around them became stifler.

"Kyoya?" Shouko tried again.

Kyoya didn't say anything. He stood up and poured a glass of water for her. Shouko awkwardly took the glass from his hand. Her throat was indeed parched and hoarse right now. She felt much better after moistened it down with a glass of water.

Yet, even after she finished drinking, the man had yet to speak. His movement was stiff.

"Kyoya, what's wrong?" Shouko put the empty glass on the bedside table. "You haven't spoken."

Kyoya closed his eyes for a moment once her words fell. When he opened them again, a myriad of emotions flashed in them yet his face remained stoic.

Shouko was baffled seeing him like this. Somehow, guilt crept in her heart as she was stared at by this man.

"Kyoya... what's wrong?"

Kyoya closed his eyes again. His lips pursed into a straight line. He seemed like he was in a difficulty to speak as he opened and closed his mouth a few times. After a few minutes of struggling, he managed to mutter out a few words.

"Why did you run into the fire?"

When he finally spoke, his tone sounded flat as if he wasn't bothered by it but his fierce gaze said otherwise of his current emotion.

"That... I..." Shouko was startled, she suddenly felt like danger was looming around when she was faced with this current him. "I saw a boy... Right! Where is he? Is he safe?"

Kyoya gritted his teeth. For the first time ever, he raised his voice to her.

"Why do you care about him? You could have died!"

Shouko was scared stiff, his voice and how his eyes were blazing with fury right now was totally different from his usual gentle and calm self.

"You could have died... Why did you do that?" Kyoya turned his eyes away from her face. His shoulders slumped and his expression changed as if his energy had been drained. Fear, regret and self-blaming were conflicted in his eyes.

In an instant, his voice gradually faded away into a whisper.

Shouko blinked, her lips quivered yet she couldn't say anything.

She had made him worried again.

"I'm sorry..." Shouko lowered down her gaze, she didn't dare to look at him when she was reminded of his anxious state at the time she fainted in the library the other day. "I'm sorry... I did that..."

Kyoya laughed lowly, it sounded eerie in the stifling air. He was laughing at himself, for getting so worked up when she had just woke up.

But, he couldn't bear it. He needed to make himself clear.

Kyoya stood up from the stool. Under Shouko's careful gaze, he put his arms around her petite figure. Shouko was surprised by his sudden action. His embrace was so tight it made her quite difficult to breathe but she didn't have the heart to push him away.

"Please... I beg you... don't ever put yourself in danger again," His tone was just a whisper yet Shouko could clearly catch the terror and anxiety in it, making her heart tightened in pain. "I don't know what I would do... so, please..."

Kyoya slowly loosened his arms around her. He placed one of his wide palm at one side of her face, their breaths intertwined within such a close distance. His bloodshot eyes were ladened with tears as he quietly looked at her.

"I'm afraid I would end up clipping your wings..." His face grew bigger in her sight. His hot breath brushed against her face. "Shouko, I'm not a good person, so please... don't endanger yourself anymore..."

Before Shouko could reply, she felt her lips were captured by something soft before a warm tear fell on her face from his eyes.