1 Day 1 College Oh College

As I'm in the car, extremely nervous. im having a "stare out of the car window" anime scene. My parents said that they would force me to visit them every Sunday or Saturday unless I had an emergency. Ah, what nice parents I have. Ok that sounded sarcastic but I do love them. they're just a bit too controlling sometimes. I've always been a bit childish now that I think about it, I've always been a bit insecure. I had so many insecurities in high school though. High school was the worst. I had to retake 2 years because I had just one wrong on the "must to have" average score. It still hurts and annoys me till today. Well now I'm insecure about being childish and also babbling away because I have nothing to do except speak to myself while looking at a car window with my reflection.

Oh god, I've had so many anxiety attacks. I don't want to retake a year in college. That's for sure.

After a few hours of babbling to myself, We finally stopped. And there it was. College. I'm very unsure if I'm ready to take college. Yup my 25th panic attack has started.

My parents dropped me off and pointed at me and said: "You better remember our deal"

I stared at them weirdly. How embarrassing, 26th panic attack has started. Why am I so insecure? isn't it my time to *not* be insecure? I mean, I guess not all insecurities can disappear so quick. I turn around and my parents have already driven 15 miles away at the speed of light. "Wow, it really feels like I just got abandoned by my own parents" i accidentally said out loud. Some random girl heard me and said: "My parents abandoned me years ago and never came back for me"

i stared at her weirdly. I wasn't even able to say anything to that. So i just slowly walked far away from her. I don't know if what she said was a joke or not, But I still wouldn't know how to reply either way.

The College was huge, there were some rusty places, and a few scratches on the building. There were a bunch of people outside. The moment the bell rang, everyone went inside. People started to whisper and my social anxiety went up, up, up.

Anyways skip to the part I found my dorm.

It was a girl there. Her head was low and her hair covered her face. My fear and paranoia went a bit up. I, who said I would ignore my roommate actually spoke to her. I was too afraid to let it go like that. "Hey?" I mumbled. She jumped up, And I fell down on my bum. Her hair went away from her face and there was a whole new person "Finally! Hello, I'm Mary Wilson! Are you my new roommate?"

I stared at her still.

"finally someone to chat with! College will be hard won't it?"

I didn't respond as I was still confused.

"Hello? you we're speaking a few seconds ago"

"Oh." was the only thing I could think of. I shook my head.

"I've been dying to tell someone about all the mystery surrounding the school! every time I talk to someone about it, it reminds me of when I was a young teenager."

I nodded my head at her understandably.

"But we're still young, you know. You're talking as if we are parents and have already had our children" I replied a few seconds afterwards.

"Hah, Well. I guess I just miss my childhood very much" she answered by my reply.

Can't relate to her. My childhood is more of a mess. Sure there are a few good moments but that's all really. But I can't lie, I do miss it a tiny bit.

____________________