5 The B.Sc Fighter

For the 4th year students, it is no longer a secret that there is no break between the 7th and 8th semesters.

I started doing research since I passed the proposal seminar in the middle of last semester, but I haven't finished it yet.

I had set a goal, achieving my bachelor's degree at the second period of graduation ceremony, in May, which is only three months left.

I've spent most of the campus activities in the research laboratory for several months with good progresses. Many Things went smoothly exactly like what I was planned, but not with my heart.

As time passes, nothing had changed. The memories of him never fade even a little, even though I keep it in silence.

A flat face with no expression devoid of emotions disguises everything, sadness, happiness, or anger, everything is hidden.

I have grown accustomed to immersing myself while other humans are sleeping in peace, then crying without any reason before falling asleep.

Every time they saw my eyes were swollen, they would think that I've too much sleeping hours or didn't sleep at all.

Before, I was just a spoiled kid with many complaints. Since the first day I entered the middle school, I stopped complaining and turned into a different person, a cold character suddenly clung into me.

I lived as if I didn't need anyone and almost forgot that humans are social creatures.

The family interprets these changes as a form of maturity and independence of mine. They don't realize the obstacles I face, they don't see the wound that remains in my heart. My life seemed boring like the surface of water, as if everything was well.

No one looks at me much closer, except for a few rare humans who have long been gone. My life seems perfect from afar, so none of them asks about my wishes since everything has been well planned.

Maybe that is one of the reasons that made me who I am today, living with extraordinary plans. I can't blame them, however I was born this way; had no desire or goal in life in the first place.

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