3 Too Pure
John choked. The collar constricted his throat more than the underwear on that delusional Deborah's shapely body.
Words embedded into his memory: "You can't escape. Fix problems first."
John screamed like a baby who lost their pacifier and then someone threw the baby into a campfire. The collar slowly loosened.
"Make the Motherboard, System Core, whatever that controls you do it! I've never fixed a problem before!" John complained.
He thought about his book that fell moments ago... His heart was broken. All his dreams of grandeur and lust... Gone, forever! Not only that! John had to work! Without breaks, too! Can anyone believe such a thing?
That childish, pudgy, and perverse Cherub who screwed up practically all his jobs! That John!?
John ran out of tears.
"You big, stupid bully! God, you knew I can't do this! Why do I have to do this all alone!?" He wailed, like a newborn babe.
The collar dragged him along without a response, so it kept John hanging powerlessly.
Eventually, they reached the biggest problem now that no angels worked the system of the mortal and immortal planes.
The Afterlife Processing Center.
A place where all mortals go when they die so their souls are judged for ascension to immortality, reincarnation to gain experience, purification to remove taint, or damnation to a life as a common beast of burden.
Already, blockages began forming since the casualties from the Human Wars piled endlessly.
God simplified the process into four chambers in an automated system for individual judgement. The collar dropped John into a booth to serve as the sole arbitrator. Sweat dribbled down his forehead and he could feel the pit stains on his white robe spreading.
Buttons. An innumerable number of buttons. In front of him sat a giant display with a series of separate icons listing many activities. At his fingertips, a keyboard with added features— way too many, for it stretched all around him on the desk encircling John— hummed with energy.
John felt a mountain shattering his mental processes. His brain couldn't understand. What was a "Violation Ratio" or an "Instability Coefficient" or a "K/D" or a "Subliminal Multiplier"?
A manual flew above his head with gnat wings but the list trailed on and on and on beyond the whole Afterlife Processing Center.
A red warning icon expanded over the entire screen and automatically selected the "Purification" Chamber. Instantly, a completely filled chamber appeared on the screen. Souls squished compactly together, some being forced to fuse, some further joining into the corrupted mess. It was like a sea of white souls, with pulsating red, black, and purple infections creating bulbous masses.
It felt like a living beast was trying to violate John's soul completely!
Two dials and two buttons trailed down from the ceiling. One dial controlled intensity and the other controlled duration. One green button had the words "Purify" and the red button said "Panic!"
John was a simple Cherub. He saw red warnings; he followed red warnings. John slapped the "Panic!" button a good twenty times before looking back at the "Purification" Chamber.
Intense Heavenly rays pierced through the sea's entirety, evaporating the souls inside completely into pure energy. The system collected the remains through a ventilation system and soon more souls poured in, faster than John could ever move.
A red warning sign popped on the screen and noise blared inside the booth. The collar choked John and he could feel his life almost slip away. He flailed in agony, unable to breath, let alone think.
"Your performance has been noted. Evaluating... score is below lowest estimate... eRrOrRr... switching to fully automated procedures... removing host to prevent further damage..." scrolled across John's mind.
In the middle of the progress report, his spasming hand slapped the "Panic!" button again before the system permanently locked his access.
Now, the system became permanently isolated and automated until God's return. The accumulating errors and unaccounted for factors resulting from John's actions... made the future completely unpredictable.
