1 Welcome To The Monster Club

"She cancelled again! That's the third time." Nashe said in despair.

"I'm not surprised you know. When you run a club that warns humans not to enter or else they could be damned forever, well what do you expect?" Erasmus said before he gulped down another pint of Dolphin blood.

"Yes well she should know by now that only applies to potential patrons. Honestly I couldn't make it any clearer that the musical guests are always safe. So many of the greats have played here for gods sake, what's she worried about."

"Well maybe she's just not at the stage of her career where she feels she's famous enough to play a Monster club without getting eaten? Or maybe it was the fact that you had to assure her that no one would eat her that keeps putting her off, we'll probably never know." Erasmus chuckled.

"Well you know what that means. I'll have to try and book a Demon act. At this late stage I probably won't get a human one. You can always get Demons at short notice. God Demon entertainers are so boring and crass." Nashe huffed as he pulled out his little black book of contacts.

"I agree" Erasmus said not caring at some of the Demons at the bar taking offence.

"I find it baffling considering so many Demons like Vampires were once people. You'd think they'd retain a bit of that creativity." Nashe continued.

"I also get fed up of their whining. 'Oh if it wasn't for the fact that Demons existence has to be covered up I'd be the new Jim Hendrix, Amy Winehouse or Van Gogh' I just want to tell every one of the whiney fuckers 'no you grotesque abomination, you're shit no matter what. If anything being a Demon is a plus as most people won't tell you you're crap out of fear of getting their heads torn off!" Nashe moaned, only to be met by scowls from a number of his Demon patrons.

"Eh no offence."

"They'll act all proud" Erasmus laughed, "but I bet their collections are just filled with albums by human singers and films by humans."

"Well I do quite like Billie Holiday" The Vandal said. "She had so much soul." He joked, with all of the Demons at the bar except Erasmus laughing.

"Well anyway" Erasmus said wanting to take attention away from the Vandal. "It's probably not the best idea to insult Demons all the time when you run a bar for them. Then again I'm not sure who you could cater too? You hate Demons, you hate humans? Maybe pixies, though I hear they can be very stuck up."

"Yes well Werewolves don't tend to be too popular regardless do we." Nashe said bitterly.

"True but I'm a Vampire and we're even less popular, yet I'm beloved by everybody here." Erasmus said as the Demons, especially the Vandal all rolled their eyes, or what passed for eyes and grunted.

Nashe didn't even bother to reply, as he had managed to contact Abaddon through a skull with red glowing eyes (in actual fact the skull of one of Abaddon's previous victims.)

Nashe had never killed anyone. He had always tried to control his lycanthropy (at least that's what he always made out to his patrons.)

The skull had been a gift from one of his contacts, but Nashe always felt sick using it. Still Abaddon was one of the few Demon singers whose work Nashe actually appreciated and evil as she was, she was also always reliable.

After Nashe performed a chant, the skull lit up in flames.

"Abbadon, hi sorry to bother you at this hour but."

The skull started to speak in Abaddon's voice.

"Werewolf, your kind sickens me. I am about bring on an age of darkness the likes of which your world has never seen. Fire will fall from the sky, blood shall flow though the streets" As Abaddon ranted, Erasmus mouthed her threats to himself. "Your oceans shall turn into slime, men and women shall become beasts who will devour their own children!"

"Yes well if that doesn't work out for you, I need an act to fill the slot on Saturday night. We have quite a number of important guests coming."

"Did you not hear me! I said the age of Demons has begun, this world will tremble before us!"

"Yes well like I said if you have time, or you have a change of heart, can you do the Saturday slot at 7:pm? I'd love for you to play, "The Apocalypse is a Losing Game."

"Oh why thank you." She said in a softer tone." You know that was one of my most personal songs. It was based on a true story."

"I think a lot of people here will find it relatable." Erasmus said.

"Okay puny Werewolf if this world does not fall before my infernal might I shall see you there. Can you make sure you have giant Otter hearts? I know they're rare, but god are they just so succulent."

"I'll see what I can do, we just got in a new batch of Dolphin blood for the Vamps, but I suppose I could let you have some as you are a guest of honour."

"Thank you, I love Dolphins! I mean they shall be among the first species to burn when this world falls before our might..... I'll see you Saturday."

"That was quite eh, worrying." One of the patrons next to Erasmus said.

"What do you mean? I just booked an act. You know Abaddon calls me a dirty Werewolf, but I think she might have a little thing for me. Look at how quickly she accepted my offer. I wonder if dirty has a double meaning. " Nashe said enthusiastically,

Erasmus spat out his blood in response whilst the rest of the Demons burst out laughing.

"You're not serious. Please tell me you're joking. She keeps human heads as pencil holders, and as toilets. Or so I'm told." Erasmus said in disbelief.

"Oh please those are just tall tales. I hope. I can't imagine a human head would be very practical as a toilet." Nashe replied

"Yes I thought that too, but with Demons you never know."

"I was talking about the apocalypse she was planning on bringing about." The patron interrupted.

There was a silence before all the other patrons at the bar burst out laughing, or at least their version of laughing.

"I take it you're new here." Erasmus said.

"She's always trying to bring down the apocalypse or claiming she is. I reckon she just got a bad review on Askirolios". The Vampire continued.

"Askiro what?" The patron asked to Erasmus confusion.

"You've never heard of the Askirolios search engine? Dear god man how do you keep in touch with everything that's happening in the supernatural world?"

"I don't use social media much these days." He said nervously.

"Big mistake. You'll never know what's going on, local gatherings, news about the never ending war between Demons and humans, when the next concerts, or Demon films are out? How do you live man?"

"Well I don't go out too much." The patron said as he moved away from the bar.

At the nearby table were several Vandals sitting over glasses filled with what looked like green energy.

"You okay pal." One of the larger Vandals said as it slowly unsheathed the claws on its hands.

"No no, I'm fine." The patron headed to the dance floor where there were all kinds of creatures, Vampires, Werewolves, Vandals, Demons, Ghouls and everything in between dancing together, though the Vampires and the Vandals were naturally still keeping their distance somewhat compared to the other creatures.

The patron stared in fascination at all of these strange creatures for a few minutes before he felt a hand slam down on his shoulder.

"Are you alright friend?" It was Erasmus.

"You haven't touched your cow blood. Here let me get you a glass of Dolphin blood." Erasmus continued.

"No, no that's quite alright."

"Please it'll be my treat. Dolphin blood is so much nicer, though I prefer blue whale blood personally, Nashe hasn't brought that in in a while because of a lot of animal rights activists. Whiners, you'd think they'd be happy that we don't eat humans at this bar."

Erasmus could see the patron wince at the grisly conversation.

"No, no I'm fine."

"I think we need to talk." Erasmus said.

"I don't know why I don't."

"Trust me it would be better if I spoke to you." Erasmus said as he looked back at some of the Vandals who were looking at the patron in a very threatening way.

"Okay but I should warn you I'm not just any old Vampire, I'm."

Erasmus brought the obviously human patron to a small table.

"What are you doing here?" The Vampire asked very quietly?

"What I'm a Vampire just like you?"

"What breed?"

"What? Breed, there is more than one type of Vampire? I mean I'm a, a."

"An idiot whose going to get eaten or turned if he doesn't watch out?"

After a few seconds the human wisely dropped the pretense and was honest with the Vampire.

"Okay you got me. I'm a horror author. My name is David Pratt."

"Pratt"

"Yes I was going to change it after I got published."

"Ah I think I see where this is going."

"I have had a few stories published online and in some sites, but well so far I've not really made a name for myself."

"And you were hoping to get some inspiration from visiting this town?"

"Yes. I'd heard stories that this town of Wyndam, was a hotspot of paranormal activity."

"It is. Has been since the days of the British Empire. It's about the only place where Vandals and Vampires can share a drink."

"Yes well when I heard it was that I hoped I could maybe get some inspiration for some stories, but I found not a lot of people were willing to talk about it and I couldn't find anything online."

"No you won't, other than vague urban stories, most of which are bastartized. All real stories on the internet about Demons, Vampires, and the Supernatural automatically go on the search engine, Askirolios thanks to a spell. It's how we cover our tracks in the modern age of smart phones and social media. You can only access if you are a Demon or use a very specific spell. It's kind of like a Demonic google. You'll find news articles about what's happening in the Demon world, a video service like Youtube exclusively for Demons, sites where you can buy Demon artifacts, even dating sites, everything."

"Fascinating."

"Not really. Like I said to Nashe, Demon entertainment is really boring, or disgusting. Some of the things on the Demon video sites will make you vomit."

"Well you could say the same thing about the human internet. I've always had an interest in the paranormal. I didn't just come here for inspiration you know. I wanted to learn about what's really out there. There is another world that exists under our own. It's incredible."

"No it isn't. It's horrible, nasty and disgusting. Just like the world you already live in. Trust me you have enough to worry about in that world, without Vampires, Demons and Werewolves."

"Well it can't hurt to know just to keep safe."

"I suppose, but then again I'd hardly call wandering into a bar filled with monsters keeping safe."

"From what I'd heard this was a place for reformed monsters?"

"If that's the case why did you bother pretending to be one of us."

"I thought this was just an exclusive club for supernatural creatures. It seemed like the best place to learn your history. Like that monster geneology chart at the back for instance. Just what is a Shaddy."

Erasmus rolled his eyes.

"First of all this isn't just a place for supernaturals. It's non humans. We have aliens in here too you know, though they have their own search engine separate from Demons, whilst Witches and Warlocks also have their own. Fortunately I know the password, spell for all three, but still. Look at that guy dancing with the Vandal in the black dress up there. He's from the Andromeda galaxy over 2 million light years away."

"Seems an awful long distance to travel just to get a pint."

Erasmus wasn't amused.

"He's here because his people were slaughtered in an intergalactic war. He and the few other surviving members of his kind have helped build up and defend our planet in ways you can't imagine. There's actually a network of aliens living in secret on earth who meet up here every few months. There they are at that table, up at the back. This is a place for all the creatures who are shunned by humanity to gather and relax. In all fairness some of us are shunned because we you know, eat people. Still naturally we don't let humans in, unless we know we can trust them."

"So you're scared of us? That's ironic."

"Well not you. We did used to let humans in here. Originally this was a club for everyone, but over the years, hunters started to attack the place and many good monsters were slaughtered. Also not all of the monsters who come here are reformed. We try to make sure they are, no human blood or organs are served, just animal. Everything from Dolphin to Alligator, to Rhino, but no humans. Sadly however that doesn't mean we still don't get a lot of human killers in here. For instance look at the Vampires. I'm probably the only Vampire in this city that doesn't feed on people. The Vandals aren't much better, neither are the Ghouls. Most of the Demons we get in here are not a bad lot, well not an evil lot at least, but it's still easier to keep the peace all around however if we're not fighting over food which a human would be.

Erasmus stopped to take a drink of his Dolphin blood much to David's disgust.

"God that really is brilliant. I find the more intelligent the animal, the more delicious its blood tastes. I probably shouldn't be thanking god mind you, but anyway your little disguise won't have fooled anyone. Vampires and Vandals for one can sense one another. I reckon that those who noticed you will be waiting to jump you outside, either to eat you, or torture you for information if there are any hunters planning an attack, or just for the fun of it, or all of the above."

"You're not serious are you."

Erasmus didn't say anything. He didn't have to as David noticed one of the Vandals at the table still looking at him.

"Don't worry about it though. I'll help you. I'm not so popular around these parts myself. I've helped close down several Demonic and Vampiric operations. They see me as a traitor and I am, but a traitor isn't always a bad thing. For instance would you think being a traitor to the Nazi party was a bad thing?"

"Why are you a traitor though? I mean I'm sure I'll appreciate it tonight, if what you're saying is true, but."

"It's a long story, and not one that I want to see in print so lets just leave it at that. You don't have any reason to trust me, but I think you can see that Vandal has an interest in you, and I'm your best bet of getting out of here in one piece. You got that."

"Yes I understand, but if you'll just tell me the spell to unlock that eh Demon web browser."

"No! After tonight you steer clear of the supernatural."

"The only reason I moved here in the first place was to learn more about the supernatural."

"It's not my fault you made a stupid decision. I my 200 or so years on this planet I've known two kinds of people who know about the Supernatural. People who go on to be great heroes, battling the forces of darkness and saving the world, and idiots who get themselves killed because they don't know when to pull back. I don't know you, but the fact that you'd already come here when you don't even know there are different types of Vampires tells me you're the latter."

The Demons at the bar were getting restless. They had clearly also rumbled David's not so clever little ruse.

"Come on, I can't stop you getting killed another night, but I can get you out here now" Erasmus said as he dragged David away.

To Be Continued.