1 The beginning

A steady rhythmic beat of my heart and the clock combines. I look down at my hands covered in blood im fine I want to be uncomfortable or disturbed but its not there, it doesn't want to come instead I feel good, satisfied, even wanting more. I know that its wrong, but I was getting annoyed and my patience was running thin, it had been for a while but out of nowhere it snapped.

I hear a phone ring I look down to the body on the floor and the head to the side before looking around till I spot it, I start walking to see babe printed on the phone. Minutes pass before snapping out of my thoughts Love, I wonder what that feels like passion, I've never really had it, but in reality who has, is it even a real thing, is sex just an excuse for pleasure, to break away from hard difficult depressing thoughts. I start heading back to the body "luke" I sigh, "why did you have to be so fucking annoying if you had just listened you wouldn't be dead right now I wouldn't have fucking snapped" I wasn't mad with him I was mad with myself for enjoying so goddamn much.

I wash my hands and go to the farthest end of the room I lean against the wall sliding down till I hit the ground with a thump, unwelcomed tears run down my cheek but I don't know why they are there, maybe its just the fact of being alive and having no purpose or happiness in it, till now at least. But you know I didn't want to make killing people a hobby I know how wrong that sounds but you couldn't understand no one could, others suffering brought me joy let me know I wasn't the only one dying on the inside, but they are dying period inside and out.

I know its selfish but I don't care my hearts already been hurt too many times by everyone, too many standing in the rain wanting to die days, or too many locking myself in my room in the dark crying in quiet or hiding the dark lonely closets. It was either them dying or me.I decide its time to clean up the mess i made.