From the Start

I am watching him from afar. Afraid that if I approach him he will just ignore or deny him.

Maybe he doesn't remember me at all. Maybe the little memory of me on his mind had gone and vanished already. But what can I expect? A short and simple interaction with a nobody like me is nothing for someone like him.

I just wish that I've said what I want to say on that fateful day. I wish I had the courage to say to him how much I idolized him that day.

I guess I will have to live with this great regret.

When he face my direction I immediately hide on this wide tree. He can't see with what I look today. Large P.E uniform that I borrowed from my older brother and jogging pants that has mud on its hem is not my usual clothes and certainly not what I want him to see.

It's time to go home.

I have satiated my craving of looking at him for now so it's time for me to go home and have a shower. Maybe I can get a little time to relax and lay on my mother's bathtub.

Hmm...

I started to walk away from him and his group.

Maybe some other time. If I'm presentable enough to get close to his friends and smile at him then that would be the best time to approach him.

Maybe...

As I get near our school's gate, I took one last glimpse of him.

His back is now facing at me. His shoulders are moving, a sign that he's laughing and having fun time with his friends.

Soon, I will be the one who will make you laugh. I promise that.

I get out of the school premises and started to walk to the bus station.

And now... it's for me to get acquainted to my mother's bathtub...