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Lovable David Trescothik

Lovable David Trescothik

A Short Story

by Random Writer

David Trescothik had always loved crowded Oxford with its tan, tall tunnels. It was a place where he felt healthy.

He was a lovable, thoughtless, squash drinker with squat fingernails and ruddy elbows. His friends saw him as a broad, breezy brute. Once, he had even revived a dying, owl. That's the sort of man he was.

David walked over to the window and reflected on his crowded surroundings. The drizzle rained like thinking tortoises.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Alison Superhalk. Alison was a smelly academic with ugly fingernails and vast elbows.

David gulped. He was not prepared for Alison.

As David stepped outside and Alison came closer, he could see the fine glint in her eye.

Alison gazed with the affection of 4827 spiteful rough rats. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want a phone number."

David looked back, even more sleepy and still fingering the ribbed hawk. "Alison, d'oh," he replied.

They looked at each other with happy feelings, like two gentle, gloopy guppies dancing at a very energetic disco, which had piano music playing in the background and two controlling uncles skipping to the beat.

David regarded Alison's ugly fingernails and vast elbows. "I feel the same way!" revealed David with a delighted grin.

Alison looked stable, her emotions blushing like a robust, resonant rock.

Then Alison came inside for a nice beaker of squash.

THE END

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Auto Praise for Lovable David Trescothik

"I feel like I know David Trescothik. In a way, it feels as though I've always known him."

- The Daily Tale

"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."

- Enid Kibbler

"Saying the drizzle rained like thinking tortoises is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."

- Hit the Spoof

"I could do better."

- Zob Gloop