I haven't read the rest of the chapter just yet, I had to stop in the mid-way. The reason is, the starting was not consistent. I suggest try to fix the grammar just a little bit more and add some precise details.
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I am the Writer, and this my first work ever so I am aware it has some flaws but I try to improve it, so I wish you continue to read it, and I wish you like it as the story progress in the near future.