1 Pokemon GO kill me...

Sunny day...great day for playing Pokemon GO...they say...well let just try it...

This is 'somebody'...because no one know his name...neither does he...but he calls himself 'somebody'...he is emotionless...they said...but deep down he knows he da potato of time and space...what am I even describing?..

Today a hot sunny day...'somebody' goes out...to play Pokemon GO because somebody says playing Pokemon GO is very fun in the sun...but that somebody is an 80 years old potato old man who later going to die from Ebola...the Ebola rule all they say...

He grabs his cheap ass $30 Samsung-Galaxy J3 16GB and a black medium size umbrella he walks throughout the door, but when the moment he stepped outside his face got hit by a torching fire potato rays of the gods.

"Mmm, this sun is killing me..."

The Sunray is hitting 'Somebody' face like the laser of the potato lord...'Somebody' look up and saw a huge ball of potato flames...

"Mmm, is it just me or is the sun bigger than before? Mmm I don't really cares anyway...well that also why I bring an umbrella."

He opens up the umbrella, with his right-hand holding the umbrella and the left holding the phone he all set for his Pokemon GO DeeDee day...

"Mmm? A Pikachu? 573 feet away? Well I guess let go catch em all?"

There he go walking like a potato, toward the Pikachu...only focusing on his phone screen so he didn't know what going on around him...he so focused that he can barely hear shit around him...

"Potato rule all!"

The guy who yelled potato is on fire...

"Oh God why you do this to muh!?"

"The end is near!"

"All hail teemo! 666 will guide you all!"

"Do you know dae wae muh bruthus!"

Everywhere he passes there were screams with buildings on flames and meteorite is shooting down everywhere, exploding on sight...

3 minutes later he arrives at the Pikachu place and Mcdonald is very close too...but something happens...he notices...His leg loses support as he looks up into the sky but only sees the black because his umbrella block the sky...and he yelled at the black umbrella...

"I lose my Pikachu! It despawns! Nooo! But ok there a pizza store in front of me so I guess I didn't waste all this walk and time for nothing not to mention I'm very hungry right now..."

'Something' push open the door, entering the legendary Mcdonald of Ancient Myth...(A/N: Why I do this...) he looks inside and sees the restaurant was empty...even the employees...the so he walked toward the cashier.

"Hello? Anyone here? If anyone hears I want a kid meal..."

Mmm...guess no one here...well let find another place to eat or go home and sleep...yep let go home...

So 'Something' went out of Mcdonald and look everywhere...he was little bit shock by what he saw...there was people burning everywhere, some skins were burned, some flesh was coming apart from their body, and there were few ashes too...and the buildings around him were either melting, burning with flames, or broken down into pieces...

"Is this...the curse of the potato sun God of an ancient era coming from the immortal realms of the divine beings of yellow legendary liquid of life?"

And he looks the people around him and look at himself, then looking at his umbrella...

"Why didn't I get affected like the others?.. Is it because of this umbrella? Has the potato god answered my calls?"

Then a blinding light appears in front of him, blinding him from seeing whatever appears in the light.

A being came out...a middle age man with average appearances appears...he look at him.

"I'm a God and you are a potato."

Confused, 'Something' look at the so-called 'God'

"Who dae potato of potato legendary Gods?"

The 'God' too is confused at 'Something' words and look at him and quickly say, "I save your potato life from the Ebola of life and legends because of the omega gods disease and I safe you and don't tell me dafaq I'm saying...so pls luv me back I'm out also imma kill you now so you will died and reborn as something I don't even fucking know you think I'm 'God' lol I am but I'm a potato God so I'm out peace."

'Something' was about to open his mouth and say something but can't do so because he got hit by a Ebola nuke which kill him and the entire planet...the end lol extinction of human race and potato race alike lolololol...

Mmm, I can see darkness...it killing my mom...omg...it going to kill my deedeeman too! Must have from da potato sleep of omega dimensions of the supreme divine dragon sleeping powder of the godly States which allow me to eat potato lords!

So with super level efforts he wakes up from his Ebola blackout thing...and yea...he was up what do you expect you boosted bonobos....

Omg it dark cave...and the feelings...it feels so good...so cold...so sexy...I don't even care what did I even reincarnate into...all I want is too feel good and sleep...

After many potato seconds...he heard something...and see something...it deedee his vision because it is a sunlight...duh...well he also heard voices now...

"Look I see a potato!"

"No it a deedeeman!"

"No, I bet it a super rare artifact!"

"Omg if it a super rare artifact then we are super rich!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOUR DUMB MOTHER FUCKERS! I'M THE ELDER OF THE MOST POWER SECT OF ALL FUCKING TIMES! THE LEGENDARY SPIRIT SECT! AND DON'T TELL ME WHY THE NAME IS SO OBVIOUS AND DUMB! LOL!"

"Omg it an elder of the spirit sect let get the fuck outta here!"

"Yea! Let get the fuck outta here!"

It seems like other people left, but 'Something' manages to catch the words 'Sect, Spirit, and artifact' meaning he is a something like an object...mmm I don't even care of I'm a object as long as they don't move me away form this sexy and feeling good spot then I'm good...

Wtf? A hand suddenly grab his 'body'? And moves him out of the sexy and feeling good spot...

"Nooooooo!" 'Something' cried with saddest and Ebola powers...

He looks up and saw that the first thing he saw was he came out from a hole...I mean since humans came out from woman hole...then I'm a object...so I same out from rock tunnel hole...does that count? Ebola? Mmm Ebola!

His body was turn around and the first thing he sees is an elderly old man with white hair wearing a robe...

"Haha! Now I finally acquired an artifact!" The old man laughed.

Mmm, so I'm artifact huh?...Ebola...

"Now me going to contract it and make it mines!"

The elderly old man bit his right finger and dripped one drop of blood into 'Something' body...

"Host "Something" Name: Xu Hai/ Cultivation Realm: Body infusing 4th Realm/ Identify: Elder of the Spirit Sect...want to contract you are you willing to do so? If the host doesn't want to do so then cancel it by saying 'Ebola'...

"Ebola."

"Haha I can feel it the po-"

The elderly old man coughs up blood...

"What da fucka!" yelled the elderly old man who looks both horrified and despair...

"Elderly Old Man loses 2 cultivation Realm..."

Something " (o-o) "