A Much Needed Explanation

After the door was closed I shifted into my human form, groaning softly at the feeling of bones popping out and then back into place. I stood up and stretched out, my back cracking some at the movement. I grabbed my back pack and slipped on my boxers and jeans before I glanced around the bathroom and noticed the small pile of dirty clothes on the chair next to the door. I grabbed the clothing on top, putting it up to my nose and sniffing deeply. It calmed some part of me I couldn't place.  A smile tugged at my lips and I hesitantly tugged on the clothing,  glad that it happened to be a tee shirt. I pulled the collar up again and sniffed it, sighing softly the smell of Derek.

I sighed softly and looked in the mirror at my ghastly white hair and pale skin along with my dull blue eyes. Would he still be interested in being.... Mates, as he called it, once he sees me?

I grabbed the doorknob and slowly turned it, opening the door just barely to see him pacing some. I frowned slightly when I noticed he was mumbling something, he sounded so worried, pained almost. I pulled the door open more and it made the slightest noise in doing so, but immediately Derek's deep green eyes zoned in on me and he stopped moving. He stared at me and his eyes slowly trailed over my body, suddenly dilating. A low growl rumbled through the room and I shivered, gripping the doorknob harder. What had I done?

"Is that my dirty shirt?" His voice was eerily calm and neither demanding or asking. I had no words forming, no voice, so I nodded. He closed his eyes and let out another quiet growl. My hand immediately flew to the hem of the shirt I was wearing, beginning to pull it off so he was no longer mad. I had gotten it halfway over my head before it was yanked back down over my torso. I gasped softly as Derek stood not even a foot away,  breathing heavily and holding the shirt down to my waist. "Oh kitten, you're going to be the death of me"

I opened my mouth but was unable to form words, again, so I closed it. His eyes watched my lips move before meeting my eyes. I hadn't realized that my hands were still in the air until he grabbed them both, pulling me forward into a hug. I let out a groan at the full body contact before instinctively purring, wrapping my arms around his caramel torso. I didn't understand what the euphoria was in the hug but it was amazing, I felt so comfortable and more safe in his arms than I ever had my entire life. I just couldn't understand why.

I heard a heavy sigh before ths godlike man pulled away and lead me to two chairs, sitting on one and motioning for me to sit on the other. I obediently sat down and crossed my right leg under my left, leaning forward, waiting for Derek to speak. When he didn't immediately my mouth move on it own, finally able to find my voice. "I don't understand. Wh-whats going on, why do I.... Why do I feel so... Good with you??? "

Confusion laced my voice and Derek's eyes seemed to lighten up and brighten immensely when he heard me. He leaned on his knees and began to wring his hands. "Okay kitten, I'm assuming you don't now anything about wolves?" I hesitantly nodded, I knew what my father wanted me to know. That wasn't much. Another sigh left his lips as he began his story. He explained what happened with the moon goddess and how she decided that wolves should have mates, he explained thar anyone could be a Wolf's mate and that it's an immediate connection that starts out as an addicting smell. "And kitten, you wouldn't feel the pull nearly as much as you do if you weren't a wolf, which is baffling me. You're a lion and a wolf? And you know nothing of your wolf side?"

I had listened to Derek intently up til now, I suddenly felt unworthy. All the memories of my father flashing back into my head, I had killed my mother because I was a wolf. "M-my mother was a wolf.... I killed her" I mumbled and watched as his shock turned into confusion. "What do you me-"

I shook my head and cut him off. "I killed her because I was a wolf, I shouldn't be here, I should've gone with my father when he left, I don't deserve this."

Before I could stand up, Derek's large hand was on my chair and pulling it closer to his until our knees touched. My eyes slowly trailed up to his face and the look of anger and sorrow made me freeze. Was he angry with me?

"Kitten, I don't know who told you that but you are not responsible for your momma's death, and she sure as the hell did not die because you were a wolf.  Wolves are very compassionate, we love everything we can. You should never be ashamed of being a wolf." He slowly grabbed my hands and I swallowed, unsure how to feel about it. "You also shouldn't be afraid of wolves, you're not a rabbit, you're a lion baby, a gorgeous powerful lion, wolves are afraid of you, not the other way around." My eyebrows raised slightly, I was the same size as most of the wolves I saw and I'm not done growing, I could see how that worked. My gaze suddtenyl shifted Derek, did that mean he was afraid of me?

He chuckled as if hearing me and shook his head. "No kitten, I could never fear you. You're my mate, remember?" His lips suddenly tweaked into a smirk and he tightened his grip slightly on my hands. "Your eyes are glowing, so who's behind it? My kitten? Or my puppy?" I stared at him a long minute before realizing he was referring to my lion and wolf. Before I had realized it my mouth was moving and a voice came out with such dominance I was shocked. "Don't call me a kitten dog." My eyes widened and Derek just laughed at me. "Okay, okay, my little kitten's fiesty." His green eyes suddenly shifted to a glowing emerald. "Just as long as you don't do it in front of my pack, otherwise you'll be punished." My lion immediately retreated at Derek's Wolf's demanding voice, it sending a shiver through my body at the force in it. He was most definitely an alpha. Putting aside the fact he told me. He radiated power. "O-okay" I responded, causing Derek to smile softly, his eyes still glowing. It would take a while to get used to him, and his wolf.