1 The past, the death, and the job interview?
My given name is unmei, and my family name is osoroshi, I am currently twenty-one years old, I am an orfan since I was 8.
In this exact moment I'm going to my underpaid job at 'the clowns borger', but I have something else in my mind, to be especific, the how did I end up like this.
It all started when I was 8 years old, my parents took me to the birthday of the soon to be head of the osoroshi family, gisei osoroshi, that day at the party a terrorist planted a bomb with the hopes of eliminating gisei, yet my mother and father were too unlucky as they stood right between gisei and the bomb.
Nobody in the family wanted to take care of me, the head of the family at that time gave me a 'reward' for the sacrifice of my parents, he gave me a home until I was 18 and a montly pay to cover all my expenses.
I-I was just a 8 year old kid! at that moment I didn't want a home, I didn't want money, I wanted my mom and my dad! but I was still in shock and I was unable to realice what was happening so I just nodded like a robot.
They even took everything my dad and my mother owned... right in my face, but I was still in shock and I kept nodding, It took me a total of 4 days to wake up from the shock but when I woke up I found an empty and strange house, It wasn't my home, my 'family' aparently got it thanks to the will that my 'parents' left behind, giving the whole heritage to them...
When I was 11 years old I found anime, It was one of the things that helped me throught my short life I also found out about videogames and manga, I became what is commonly refered to as a NEET.
It wasn't until I was 16 that I got out of my 'home' for the first time in years to search for a job, as I needed the work experience for when I reached 18 as I didn't want to die on the streets.
When I turned 18 my 'kind' 'family' threw me out of the house I was staying in and I had to search for a place to sleep, yeah I know, best birthday ever.
And we reach this moment! I barely get enough money to pay the rent and eat I've been sustaining myself from cup noodles for 2 and a half years, so I've grown quite weak recently due to malnourishment and bad job conditions... Haaaaaaaaa...
I stop running as I've arrived to my job, I take a look at the fast food restaurant where I've been working since I was 16 and I let out a huge sigh, another day of pure torture, kids screaming, karens complaining, and co-workers doing bungee-jumping on the bathroom with a rope out of desesperation.
I hesitate before starting to walk then I feel a sudden chill on my neck making me jump in surprise, unluckily I tripped on a kid that was mounting a tricycle, this made me fall hard to the ground head first making me lose conciousness and get internal bleeding.... yes... I DIED TRIPPING ON A FUCKING TRICYCLE!
[ THE COUNCIL OF PANTHEONS ]
''did you all feel that?'' - a god
''you mean the fastest death to be recorded for a type six soul?'' - a god
''yes, how could this happen? I mean, those souls have basicly plot armor!'' - a god
''weird, I checked the soul's past and it was a past worthy to type 2-NT souls...'' - a god
''so... what do we do?'' - a god
''erase it'' - a god
''no'' - a god
''fuck'' - a god
''hey biblical god'' - a horny god
''what do you need from me zeus?'' - biblical god
''remember that project that was put on hold a few decades ago since no type 6 soul was born?'' - zeus
''you mean 'that' project?? I-It could work! we give him a new chance and a new fate while getting also 'that!!!''-biblical god
''why are you guys so secretive about limbo's eden?'' - a god?
''....'' - biblical god
''....'' - zeus
''THIS IS WHY YOUR PANTHEON SUCKS, MAGIC GIANT FLYING SPAGHETTI!!'' -zeus
''you trully do not understand a god's heart'' - biblical god
''what did I do?'' - a spaghetti god
''so we summon his soul here or not?''- a god
''of course we need to make his job interview!''- a god
[reincarnation system of the earth]
'death is... interesting'
After dying from the internal blood loss I felt as if somerthing was grabbing me, guiding me to my next stop, be it heaven, hell or the famous reincarnation.
'I wonder if I'll get to ressurect kazu*a style thanks to the stupid death that I had'
'maybe I'll just go to hell, it's not like I've been a saint during my life so heaven is a no no'
And like that I passed my... seconds? hours? who cares, at this point either I've gone insane or I'm the protagonist of some crappy story.
('mind If I intrude in your monologue little unmei?')
I suddendly notice that next to me there's a... shining rubber duck??
('I know that I'm not the classical god, but come on! you humans have been praying to even stupidier imaginary gods! do I have to remind you that when you were 14 you started praying to wifi-sama!?')
'Shut up! I was quite alone in my living days!'
('yeah that might be true, but at least you don't have to handle a newborn god with no physical form!')
('before we continue this useless banter, I've come to you with a proposal from the council of pantheons')
'YEEEEEES!... I mean, you've piqued my interest'
(' it's not what you might be thinking, rather than a rebirth it's more like a job interview, if you accept now I'll take you to the council and we'll tell what the job is about')
'and the other option is?'
('staying in the rebirth system and slowly forget about everything you are and will be and be reformed into a new type of newborn soul')
'hmmm tempting, tempting, but If, and only IF I accept, will there be a chance for me to meet neko-girls?'
('....')
('WHAT DO YOU TAKE US FOR, OF COURSE!!')
'deal'
