Who I am

I felt myself falter under the impact of those reptilian eyes, then I clenched my jaws and firmed my step, stopping at precisely the distance recommended by Stefan, and snapping a very military bow; neck slightly arched, wings partially unfurled, hind legs straight while forelegs were bent but not splayed. I held this for several seconds then recovered, returning their cool gaze as I silently waited. . . .

. . . .And was ignored as one of the creatures turned his head to growl something to his neighbor, who replied with a growl of his own punctuated by several hisses. I watched as the creatures' watchful silence dissolved into long strings of growls, purrs, hisses and clicks as they conversed urgently among themselves.

I studied them as I waited; eyeing their age-ringed scales, gauging their size. The youngest was slightly larger than myself; the eldest a frightening behemoth nearly twice my usual bulk. I took a moment to flick my gaze to Stefan, who still stood beside me. Despite his best efforts he radiated a mixture of confusion and outrage. Ah; so this was just as much an insult as it was among humans.

I scanned these squabbling creatures once more as I shifted my weight preparatory to turning about and leaving, then my eyes met those of the eldest.

I felt my gaze caught and held like a fly in amber by those eyes of gold-flecked emerald. Age radiated from her like heat from a fire as she lay coiled in the midst of the others, a curious stillness wrapping her frame like a shroud, the impact of the personality behind those eyes like a physical blow.

We stared at one another, gazes locked, for a long minute while the noise ebbed and flowed about us. I blinked, then shook my head as I felt something brush my mind as gently as a moth's wing. She blinked as well, her head tilting slightly to me in amused acknowledgment of something, then she gave an electrifying hiss.

The hubbub died instantly as the other dragons immediately turned to her, their heads inclining with respect. In the silence she gazed at me a moment more, then looked to Stefan, a complex purr-growl rumbling in her chest.

Stefan bowed again. "My Lady, I regret that he does not understand our language as of yet."

She nodded to Stefan, then turned to meet my eyes once again as the reached up to lay a single claw upon the base of her throat. I flinched slightly at the brilliant emerald flare that erupted, my sight recovering in time to see a torque of green light wrapping itself about her throat. Similar flashes around us told me that the others were following suit.

"And what shall we call you, young one?"

Such a warm, rich voice seemed incongruous coming from this grey-green mountain; until you looked into her eyes. I found myself swallowing before I could speak. "My Lady, I would be pleased if you would call me Hasai."

If she was disappointed that I hadn't given her my Name, not a flicker of it showed. Instead, she simply tilted her head humorously. "In that case, you may call me Dithra." Her amusement grew as she watched my reaction. "A promising author, is she not? Perhaps a little too ready to believe that the world is a gentle place, but she will learn. Be welcome, young Hasai. We have awaited you for a very long time."

"I- I don't understand."

She re-coiled her tail about herself as if anticipating a long exchange. "And what is it that you do not understand? Ask your questions, young dragon. I will answer."

"You say that you awaited me. Why? How did you find me? How did you even know that I even existed?"

Her head tilted again. "If I may answer in reverse order; when those with the blood of the Shen-Lung first exert their power, the entire world feels it. When the weather of Central America went insane, we suspected. When a hurricane of the Caribbean was torn apart like a prey animal, we knew."

I almost made the mistake of smiling like a human, turning it into a rueful tilt of the head at the last instant. "I was less than discreet."

"Indeed." Dithra had caught my error, but dismissed it with a flick of her tailtip. "We began our search when we noted the weather patterns in your Panama, dispatching young Stefan to find the cause. But you had vanished. Weeks later a hurricane explodes into existence in the southern Caribbean, and is slapped about like a plaything in the paws of a kitten. Once again Stefan searches, and once again you have vanished." She shook her head in amused exasperation. "Your human profession makes you very difficult to find, young Hasai."

I was beginning to get the hang of this very Japanese style of conversation. I gave a small bow, acknowledging the last. "And may I ask how Stefan finally managed to catch up with me?"

Dithra's eyes flicked over to Stefan, and he quickly answered. "It became an easier matter, my lord, when I realized your close connection with your aircraft. Once I located your flight plans, the rest was simple."

"So. You finally caught with me in Baltimore?"

"Yes, my lord."

"And what was your connection with the three thugs that attacked me there?"

Stefan blinked. "My lord?"

"Your sudden appearance was too timely to be coincidence, Stefan. Why the three goons? Was it to flush me out? To make sure I was the one you were looking for? Or were you simply tired of chasing me all over the world, and decided to bend a pipe over my head and deliver me to these nice people trussed up like a Christmas goose?"

The smaller dragon's tail was lashing with agitation as he slowly backed away from my deliberate grin. "M- my lord, I assure you--"

Dithra once again gave that startling hiss. "Enough, Hasai. It is true that Stefan was watching you, but only while he awaited our permission to make contact. Your encounter with the thieves brought him out of hiding, thinking you might need assistance."

"Then why did he disappear, my Lady?"

She looked at me with annoyance. "You were about to kill him, were you not?"

Urk. I paused a moment, then decided to let the matter drop for now. "I most certainly was, my Lady. I beg everyone's pardon."

There was a growl to my left, and a brown and green dragon perhaps half-again my size said something to Dithra in that curious language. Whatever her reply was, he didn't like it, for his tail lashed angrily until he caught me looking at him. His eyes narrowed. "You stare, whelp. You lack manners."

Another mistake on my part. I bowed. "Your pardon, my lord; I am still learning. And by what name may I know you, sir?"

The banded dragon lifted his head haughtily, his lower jaw dropping slightly to show a hint of fang. "This is a waste of time. Feral whelps such as this do not ask questions of their superiors. All they need do is obey."

Now this was just too much to let slide. I lifted my head as well, the corner of my hard mouth curling slightly. "And in just what way are you my superior, sir?"

Brown-green looked like he'd been slapped. Tail lashing, he lurched to his feet, only to freeze in his tracks at a rippling snarl from Dithra. His eyes went wide and he crouched back down as she loomed over him, giving him what no soldier could have mistaken for anything other than a thorough dressing-down.

A final growl from Dithra, and brown-green abruptly turned and slunk silently out of the room, carefully avoiding my eye as he left. Dithra stared after him for a moment, then turned back to me. "The evening grows late, young Hasai." She stated wearily. "Do you have any more questions?"

"Only the last, my Lady. Why am I so important to you?"

She paused for a long moment, then her jaws dipped in a very human nod. "And of course it is the most difficult one to answer. . . .Indeed, why?" She looked to Stefan. "You have told him our history?"

"Only the barest bones, my Lady, but yes."

"Then that shall suffice." Dithra's gold and emerald eyes swung back to me. "We are dying, young Hasai. Once, we were lords of this world and all of its lands. Then the humans appeared, and in what seemed to be the space of a single breath we went from rulers to wretched remnants. I remember--" She trailed off, then shook her head as if to rid herself of something. "At first we tried to give battle. At first. The results were horrible. In spite of all our power we were no match. They had numbers, and they had their tools. Their weapons. They swept us away. Now we hide; spinning simulacra of human forms about ourselves in order to preserve the pitifully few of us that remain.

"But we learned from them, these humans. We began to build. Not with tools; those are not in our nature. Instead, we built with Life. With Power. Those things which we do understand."

She sighed. "It took many years. Time and again our efforts were disrupted by the humans' incessant wars, time and again our places of labor were destroyed, those whom we worked with scattered. Our last efforts were shattered by the American Civil War, and by what the humans called World War Two. After the destruction of those two final attempts we surrendered to despair. There was no more time. The humans were filling up the last of the world, and we had run out of places to hide.

"And then one day, above the Isthmus of Panama, the weather goes insane." The huge old dragon cocked her head, her eye glittering with humor. "How ironic. The one we had hoped for was born; product of results of those last two desperate attempts on separate continents, all unknowing of their heritage, thrown together by the global convulsions of yet another human war half a world away."

"My Lady, I don't understand. My parents were human."

"And so they were, for the most part. Like you they were born in the human manner, and led to believe they were fully human by their own parents. But they were not, and you are not. But neither are you fully dragon."

My tail lashed once before I could still it. Dithra dipped her jaws in mild apology, but with a humorous tilt. "I mean no insult to you, young Hasai, but you are indeed of human blood as well. And that is as we intended. All of us can create human simulacra and conceal ourselves within them; those of us who could not perished long ago. But the simulacra do not stand up well to close scrutiny, and within, we are still dragons.

"But you, young Hasai, when you assume human guise you become human. So human that you can actually breed with them, as did your scattered ancestors when our plans were broken; mingling with the humans until we thought the bloodlines hopelessly diluted. So human, that one could fail to realize what one truly was."

"There were strange dreams and hungers that haunted my life, my Lady. And a deep sadness that I could not explain."

"And what did you think of these feelings?"

". . . .I thought that I was going insane. Why, Dithra? Why did you not tell us?"

"And would that have been a kindness? To tell a creature that he could have lived far beyond a mortal's span, that he could have danced amongst the clouds, had he but a few drops more of our blood?"

I looked away from her ancient eyes to study the concrete at my feet. I sighed. "No."

"And we would not have told you, Hasai, had we known you existed. You would have gone on to live out your human life; disturbed by your strange dreams and longings, but at least it would have been a life. Tell me, young dragon, how did you awaken?"

I hesitated, then realized what she was asking. I snorted, wishing I knew how to signal wry humor. "Violently, my Lady. Very violently. All my life I have been stalked by the lightning of every storm and gale I encountered. Finally, after decades of trying, one of the bolts found its mark."

She blinked. "That must have been quite abrupt. And very painful. Your mind must be a strong one, to have withstood such a wrenching change without shattering."

I bowed to her. "My Lady overestimates me. I have no doubt that I would have broken, had it not been for the wings."

"Ahh. Your dreams." She paused for a moment, pondering. "The lightning was probably drawn by your Shen-Lung, or Storm Dragon aspect, young Hasai. It is the part of you that allows you to influence the weather. It was what we were working to revive with our labors in Europe."

"Revive? My Lady, are the Lung--"

"They are no more. Their kind had faded for centuries, then their last pitiful remnants eradicated by the madman Mao Tse-Tung when he rose to power in that land."

I closed my eyes for a moment as both regret and a strange loneliness welled up within me. I sighed. "I notice that I do not look all that much like the few illustrations I have found, my Lady."

"That is because you also possess the blood of the Western dragons, Hasai; a gift from your father. Hopefully you possess their abilities as well. The wings are obvious, but do you also possess their flame?"

I thought of the ever-present burning sensation at the back of my throat, and what it could do. "Yes, my Lady."

"And I do not doubt that you have their talent in controlling that which the humans in their ignorance call magic. There is a haze of Power about you, young Hasai, that I cannot fathom as yet, but it promises much."

I felt a chill as I realized that Dithra had sensed the patterns that I had woven all about me before starting this evening's adventure. If she even suspected the purpose of several of them. . . .

. . . .But the ancient dragon continued. "The blood of the Eastern dragons may have gifted you with other abilities as well. Can you shift your form, Hasai?"

I blinked. "My Lady?"

"Can you take on the shapes and abilities of creatures other than man and dragon? Can you become, perhaps, a wolf?"

I stared at her for several moments, the implications thundering in my head. "Uh, my Lady, it has never even occurred to me to try."

"I see. Well, we can explore that later. Perhaps your size. Can you change that?"

I found my head tilting humorously. "My Lady, that is something that I can do; though I believe the legends of being able to go from the size of a grain of rice to that of a mountain to be a trifle exaggerated. I can, however, go from about the size of a robin, to. . .well. . ."

Dithra's eyes widened and she sat back in utter shock as I rapidly grew and swelled to a dragon bigger than any in the room. There were several muffled exclamations from the others, and Stefan hissed in shock and sprang away from my suddenly looming bulk. I was big enough to nearly squash him under a paw while half again as large as Lady Dithra ". . .to about here. Anything beyond those two points becomes very painful very quickly."

Now it was Dithra's turn to blink. "I have not seen that particular trick in many years. I had forgotten how dramatic it is." She shook it off, then looked deep into my eyes. "Hasai, we rejoice that you have come among us with your many gifts, but unless you possess two more abilities, two very special abilities, all that has gone before shall be for naught. These abilities would, ironically enough, come from your human aspect.

"Hasai, may I see your forelimbs?"

For some reason a thick silence abruptly settled over our little group as she spoke those words. I looked a bit uneasily about myself, then sat back on my haunches and showed her my hands. She stared at them, still as stone, for several long moments. Then slowly, gently she took my right hand between her own forepaws. I was struck at how coarse and clumsy her paws were when compared to my own as she slowly stroked the length of my fingers, flexed my wrists, felt at their bone structure.

"He has hands. Oh, by the Ancestors, he has hands."

At the sound of those quiet words there was a collective sigh, as if everyone in the room had been holding their breaths. Suddenly all of them were talking at once in that strange language, their powerful voices echoing and re-echoing off the concrete walls. The din was incredible.

Through it all Dithra continued to knead my hand, staring at it as if at something precious beyond words. Her touch sent a special thrill through my frame, awakening feelings that I hadn't experienced in far too long. I found my talons curling themselves about her paw and squeezing gently.

She drew a sudden breath, then her eyes snapped up to mine. Those eyes of gold-flecked emerald widened as she read what she saw there, then slowly grew faintly luminous.

Then it was gone; replaced with a deep regret. Letting my hand drop she turned and hissed the others into silence, then turned back to me. "One of the advantages the humans have always had over us was their hands." She offered by way of explanation. She lifted her own forepaw and stared at it wryly. "What we have is good for seizing and lifting prey, but little else. The humans, however, could use what had been given them to shape the materials of the earth. They could make and use tools. And it was with those tools that they defeated us."

"Hasai--" A voice from my right, and an elder of a shade of green so dark as to be nearly black, his scales nicked and scarred by some ancient violence limped his way forward. He bowed stiffly to Dithra. "I ask your pardon, my Lady, but I must ask this." He turned to me without awaiting her reply. "Young Hasai, are you a Builder?"

"A builder, my lord? Do you mean an engineer? Um, yes, that is my human profession."

"An Engineer." He breathed, staring at me hungrily. Abruptly he gestured at our surroundings. "You can do such things as this? Tear the very bones out of a mountain and form it into a dwelling place?"

I blinked, then looked at the walls. "Well sir, I've never tried anything so ambitious; my area of expertise is weapon systems. But with the right tools and materials and a great deal of work I don't think it would be all that. . . ."

He had been gazing at the walls distractedly until the moment I said the word weapon. Instantly he whipped about, and I trailed off as he stared at me, a strange light in his eyes. "Weapons. You could build tools-- weapons that a dragon could use?"

There was a warning hiss from Dithra, but the scarred dragon ignored her. I frowned at him. The question was troubling, but there was no real reason why I should refuse to answer it. "I suppose, sir. The differences in size complicates matters, but maybe I could adapt some existing platform. . . ." I trailed off again as the light in his eyes became positively frightening.

"Hasai. Dear Hasai, you may know me as Ksstha, and we will speak again. Oh, yes, we will speak again."

With that he turned and stalked back to his place in the group and, oblivious to Dithra's molten glare, coiled up to stare at the concrete between his forepaws, but quite obviously seeing something far different.

I suppressed a shudder as Dithra turned back to me and gestured apologetically. "Your pardon, Hasai. Ksstha is. . . ." She searched for a moment. ". . . .He has unpleasant memories."

An uncomfortable silence ensued, and I quickly tried to change the subject. "My Lady? You said there were two things."

"Ah." She sighed, obviously relieved. She paused a moment to gather her thoughts. "Dragons live long, Hasai, but very rarely do we have children. We do not know why; perhaps it is the price we pay for our longevity. Be as it may, the mated couple that is fortunate enough to produce a child is considered truly blessed, and the event cause for celebration amongst all who hear of it.

"Hopefully, you are different, Hasai."

I stared at her, and she tipped her head amusedly. "That was the other reason we dared to mix our blood with that of the humans; mix it so deeply that we feared it lost forever. If we succeeded in this thing, you will prove to be as productive as the humans themselves." A hint of laughter glittered in her eyes for a moment, then faded, to be replaced with something more bittersweet. "We are old, Hasai; dangerously so. So old, that most of our females, including myself, are barren."

I felt my eyes go wide as I realized the incredible gaffe I made earlier. We looked at one another for an interminable moment, her eyes unreadable. Finally her tail flicked in dismissal. "However, we still have a few younger females, and perhaps we will be fortunate enough to find you a suitable mate. Then, the Ancestors willing, you can give us the many children we need to replenish our numbers."

I realized that my lower jaw was hanging open, and closed it with a snap. I must have looked quite comical, for Dithra's glittering eyes softened before she continued in a gentler tone. "We created you, Hasai; partially by design, partially by accident, in order to preserve our kind. With your abilities, and, hopefully, the abilities of your progeny, we will finally be able to successfully compete with the humans, and stop our slide into oblivion." She tipped her head. "A suitable challenge for a dragon, is it not? To be savior of our race?"

I found that my mouth had gone dry. "My Lady, I. . . . Um, I. . . ."

She nodded. "Indeed. I have given you much to think about, and doubtless you need time to digest it." She glanced at Stefan. "The night is nearly over. Your guide will show you to where we have prepared a suitable place where you may rest and think. Then we shall speak again, and in more depth. There is much for you to learn about us, and much for us to learn about you."

I awoke out of my daze with a start. Oh hell, the time. "My Lady, I thank you for the hospitality, but I must return to my work in Baltimore. Would it be possible to talk some other night?"

Dithra gazed at me blankly for a moment, as I had spoken in some unknown language. Then she tipped her head in gentle humor. "You must surely realize that your life among the humans is at an end, young dragon. You are far too precious to us to risk any further exposure to those creatures. No, I must insist that you stay."

"My Lady, I cannot."