17 Dan Kato 1-1

Kami-sama I love Tsunade. As I see the woman's naked luscious body next to me, I reaffirm that thought. The woman is Loveable and extremely fuckable. I didn't even know tits could be used like that. Her whole body is sinful especially those HUGE bouncy jugs. I get up from the bed and cover my lover in a sheet.

As I go to the kitchen to make breakfast, I reminsce how this wonderful life of mine came to be. I had just recently been promoted to the role of Jonin. In fact I was the only clan less Jonin in our military. The reason I could get that position was because I had developed a very versatile and powerful Invisibility justu which is actually my speciality. But still I wasn't much better than the average Jonin in those days but then The Third approached me and my life took a turn for the better. The Third was very worried about Tsunade. Since her brother's death, she had taken up drinking and gambling. That in itself wasn't that worrying. The thing that actually worried The Third was that Tsunade always bet her body in gambles. Her opinion was on the lines of 'I either get to fuck or get money for my booze. What's the problem the problem with that?'. She was going on a self destructive spiral. The name of the Legendary Sucker was still quite famous in gambling circles. One of the reasons she didn't bet money was because while she had immense personal funds, she had no reason to drown them and she didn't really want to do anything with the Senju so she refused to take their money.

The Third was incredibly concerned about the fact and so approached me to take care of this problem. According to the Third while Tsunade didn't exactly hate ninjas from clans, she wouldn't start a relationship with one unless some very miserable circumstances were there. He had really hoped that Jiraiya would be able to start a relationship with Tsunade but Tsunade adamantly refused to even have a one night stand with the guy. After we began dating, I asked the question everybody wanted to ask but really couldn't: 'Why did she not give Jiraiya even a chance?'. The answer while shitty really explained why the fuck she didn't accept an obviously close friend like Jiraiya as even a temporary lover.

She believed that Jiraiya would do anything for her except betraying Orochimaru, her sensei and torturing children. There was honestly a very small list of things the guy wouldn't do for her. It wasn't like that she didn't have some feelings for Jiraiya before our relationship happened or that she didn't find him hot. It was just that she believed that if they ever went into a relationship, it would be a incredibly toxic one. She wholeheartedly believed that Jiraiya deserved better than that. If she had started a relationship with the guy, the dynamics would have been incredibly fucked up because of her incredibly short temper and Jiraiya being not having any limits to things he would do for her. She didn't want a toxic relationship. It wouldn't have been good for her and it wouldn't have been good for Jiraiya.

Honestly, if she had spouted such bullshit to anyone else, she would have been shut down HARD! The only reason I didn't do so was because I was her current lover and I didn't really wanted to argue for the guy with an unrequited love for her and because I honestly didn't mind her explanation. Yes, it was a load of complete and utter horseshit but it was also her reasons. Shinobi by their nature are incredibly delusional and when they believe in something, they believe in something. It is why therapists are a thing for civilians and not Shinobi. There have been rare incidents of shinobi knowing that they are delusional AND going to a therapist for it. I know I am delusional in some way, just that I don't know what due to my narrow perspective of myself and I won't ever go to a therapist. These things are a part of us...These make us whole. A Shinobi going to a therapist would be forced to confront every fucked up thing he/she did and every fucked up thing they saw...and that is an incredibly easy recipe to get yourself berserk madmen due to a cocktail of guilt, rage, sadness and existential crisis at once. Most of the missing nins(the actual ones) become such when they are confronted by the fact that they are delusional.

As such no sane(by Shinobi standards) Shinobi would even think of going to a therapist. Anyways, Tsunade's reasons may sound incredibly filmsy to an outside observer but they don't know how scarred she is by Nawaki's death. Her scarred psyche is just starting to heal. Due to the fact that Nawaki died because his sense of self-preservation was eaten by bullshit conditioning, Tsunade hates any kind of major conditioning. And she sees herself and Jiraiya ending up in a relationship to be like that. She thinks that she would lead Jiraiya to his death because she wasn't a good strategic thinker and had impulse control problems. Jiraiya would do anything for her and it would most likely be his end. It was irrational, it was bullshit but it was still her fear. Fear is irrational. You can't really rationalise Orochimaru's extreme fear of death but self rationalisation is a thing.

Oochimaru gives me the creeps due to his...you know...'vibes'. That guy is creepy as hell with his pale skin and anti social ways. On the other hand Jiraiya is a cool guy. The guy clearly tried his best to not give any discomfort to Tsunade and disrupt our relationship. He's a nice guy. But we do have an unspoken understanding of avoiding each other as much as possible. While Jiraiya is a nice guy, he still hates my guts for having Tsunade. On the other hand, I don't really know how I can talk with the guy who had an unrequited love for my lover for years. It would incredibly weird... We therefore try to avoid anything related to each other.

Tsunade of course wasn't a girl you could even suggest the idea of a serious relationship without getting pummeled by her fists. Hatake Sakumo knows that. The third had contacted him before me cause he was still single at that time, his clan was a really minor one and who doesn't want to tap Tsunade's ass? So he got himself into a gambling game with Tsunade. Turns out his luck is almost as shitty as Tsunade's luck. The guy only won by an inch. When the next day, he woke up after having the best night of his life, the bastard suggested walking Tsunade to her home. Of course as Hatake was a friend of Tsunade, she didn't really have a problem with that. On the way though, he suggested a 'relationship' and then you can guess what happened. The fight between the 'White Fang' and Tsunade was legendary. They both didn't really use any of their actual killer moves but their battle was a feast for the eyes. Of course, after Tsunade had her fill, Jiraiya jumped on the bandwagon the next day as soon as he got the news that Hatake got laid with is what led to the rumours of a rivalry between the Third's students and Hatake. Really shows you how rumours distort the truth a bit too much.

Anyways so after that failed epically, the Third gave Tsunade some breathing room for some months and then dropped Tobirama sama's dirty laundry on Tsunade. Among the upper management, only Tsunade was kept away from Tobirama's dirty laundry as The Third didn't want Tsunade to grieve over that but seeing that Tsunade was going on a self destructive path, he dropped the news on her to break her a little bit more so that someone(Me) could comfort her and finally get her to be better. While a part of me was disgusted with the dickery Third did, a much larger part of me understood that and well why would anyone not take the opportunity to go after those tits? Anyways, I was disgusted with the shit cause my mother was a civilian and I got a little bit of my perspective of the world from her. Honestly, if seen from a civilian's eyes, the Third could be said to be a control freak and an evil mastermind. But then... civilians haven't really seen truly evil things have they?

Shinobi have no problem in manipulating their loved ones for their own good. Of course, this is a last resort method for most of us but we still don't find it abherrent. The Third basically raised Tsunade and only wanted her good. Also, it was the Third's direct command that let Tsunade not know the truth about Nidaime sama. That time was a opportunity and I capitalised on it. Though Tsunade doesn't understand what happened, she has long since suspected that the Third set us up and she really doesn't mind that as our relationship has been great. While our start was based on lies, our feelings are not in anyway less pure. We love each other and I am happy with that fact. Of course, I got my payment from the Third. He personally taught me for 5 months. Because of that I am successfully in the upper end of A class ninjas.

One of the things I had asked from the Third during our short apprenticeship was why the hell was the Nanabi Jinchuriki not in Konoha?

While Taki was indeed hidden through their advanced sealing techniques, the seals were designed by Uzumaki specialists on the request of Hashirama-sama as he knew that the Nanabi would be a easy target for the other villages. It wouldn't be a stupid sentimental reason like fulfilling the First's wishes would it? The Third laughter on my question was both morbid and was like that he couldn't suppress his laughter on the thought of someone using the Nanabi Jinchuriki.

When his morbid laugh finished, the Third explained to me why and I was fucking horrified. Apparently, before the First Ninja War there had been many attempts on stealing the Nanabi. One of the S class ninja named Kakuzu was the prime defender of Taki before he defected due to being scorned by his people for not being able to save the village from the full scale assault of Iwa ninjas as the Land of Waterfalls(It isn't really a country, more like the size of 2-3 large hidden villages) is between Ame and the land of rice.A quarter of the village was destroyed before Konoha's reinforcements arrived. His defection also made Taki more helpless. Despite being from a somewhat civilian background, I can see why most Shinobi see civilians as those 'dumb weird shits'. You should NOT antagonise your only S-rank ninja because he wasn't able to complete an impossible task. Anyways, at that time Taki was terrified but the ninja leadership was still not ready to give up the Nanabi as it was a symbol of hope for the ninja population... That their village would actually amount to something. Sometimes I don't really get how naive people can be...

So Tobirama sama the social genius he is(sarcasm) asked for the Nanabi to be given to Konoha for the First Ninja War in exchange for the Uzumaki continuously reinforcing Taki's barrier. While the Barrier won't be unbreakable and their village not being totally hidden, it would be secure enough that before any kind of seige actually happens, reinforcements would have reached there. Taki was understandably conflicted but gave up their Nanabi Jinchuriki of the generation (who was a 12 year old at that time) to Tobirama sama for the war. Tobirama sama... experimented on the boy and added several bug related bloodlines to the boy and made him an Abomination. The boy wouldn't even live for more than 2 months but the havoc he bought to Kumo is still remembered there.

The uncontrollable Biju transformation of the boy as well as several poison and bug related bloodlines made the boy a upper end S-class threat. He posioned about 20% of the civilian population of Kumo and killed their first Raikage before dying. The horror of the act was enough to spread the reputation of Jinchurikis as monsters and even Taki was wary of their Jinchuriki after that incident. Tobirama sama and then The Third didn't just take Nanabi for us as that would just make Konoha much more of a target than it already is. We DON'T want all the other villages uniting against us. It is for that reason why Kumo hates Konoha that much even though we don't have any meaningful things to fight over. Kumo basically hates Konoha for every disease still prevalent in their people. Which while not untrue isn't really fair against Konoha...

The Third isn't nicknamed 'The Professor' in Konoha for nothing. Every now and then someone gets the chance to learn something from the Third when he is in a great mood or just generally free. He has a plethora of techniques in his stash. Those few months were really enjoyable and generally great for my progress in ninjustu.

Though even the Third sometimes speaks some rubbish. Well he isn't a God, he is fallible after all. He warned me against overusing my Invisibility technique. What rubbish! It's the best technique in my arsenal. The thing made me what I am. Why wouldn't I use that? The cases of Friendly fire only actually happen in an area that's a clusterfuck and like a warzone. We are in peace times. There isn't any war going on.

He was just sounding like all those Shinobi I killed. 'Someday You'll die due to using that cursed technique, you bastard'. Oh I would certainly like for the fuckers to try. Me,dying to friendly fire? When I live in 'We are best at teamwork' Konoha... As if...

Oh...looks like Tsunade is up... Time for a morning round.. After all I have to take advantage of the fact I am the boyfriend of the 'Legendary Sucker'...