I start saying i like very mich cultivation novels, the story begins well giving immediately the readers a glimpse about how much power you could obtain. although a bit cliché the extinction of a race with only one newborn survivor, it is always interesting how such a child will grow and he will avenge his race. I hope the author will continue it
An interesting concept for a novel, the idea is unique and could be developed rather nicely into a novel. I think with some effort, you could make this novel into a decent read without much issue. Now, however, there are some elements that could use a lot of improvement. The first is tense shifting. From your preliminary chapters alone, I've seen a lot of shifts between the generic past tense 'was' and the present tense 'is'. Now, this happening one or twice a chapter isn't anything much - it shows that the author is human, and you'd really focus on eliminating those minor errors when they're limited to a handful. Right now, your first chapter begins with the past tense: "In the center of the town Lorea, stood a half human boy. He was 1.4 meters tall, with short blond hair, looking forward casually..." This introduction brings to the reader the impression that the storytelling is in the past tense - since the first few sentences follow such format. In the next paragraph of text, however, you began to alternate between the past and present tenses (from 'were\was' to 'is\would', etc); this throws a wrench into your story telling as an author, and the reader is sitting there scratching their head in confusion instead of immersing themselves into the adventures of the protagonist. Other than the primary issue of tense-shifting, I don't see a major problem with the grammar, which is a good sign. Good work on that! The plot of the story telling... again, this is simply from the first chapter - the first five chapters are primarily what decides if the reader wants to 'read' your novel instead of 'skim' for the daily xp for their profiles, and the later chapters retains their viewership. In your first chapter, you have a concept as the Space Kings, and a town called Lorea. That's great, since we also get a description about the Space Kings, but what happened to Lorea? What does it look like, and how does it compare to our Earth? Descriptions regarding the background of the world, the plot progression, and even the actions of the characters are sorely lacking in the first few chapters of the novel - and the reader desperately needs them. This trend is further displayed as we read into the life of Rey - of whom I take to be the main character - and a lot more detail, as tedious as it could be, would help your novel immensely. Also, your pacing of the plot is rather rushed for the first few chapters; this is also a result of the lack of background information regarding the novel. What is space energy - what does it look like, what does it do, how can someone manipulate it and to what extent - we don't have this prior information, and it makes the characters actions less impressive to the point that all the reader can do is sit back and think, "oh, okay. That's it?" The factions, the titles, everything so far is a little too fast paced especially for the first chapter. Long chapters are good, but only when they are paced right. I'm sorry if I sounded a little too harsh in this review - I simply have high expectations since the concept of the novel seems to be a good project worth well taking. Best of luck to your writing!
Author here shamelessly promoting his own book. Updates haven't been stable, and I am just getting started on the world's system and politic stuff. I do know that my grammar and sentence structure is good. Also, the story is developing slowly, but there's reasons to that...I believe I'm making the character's dynamic and full of personality so that you guys, the readers, will be able to guess how the character would react to certain events. Thanks for those who are sticking by, even with the slow release rate!!