2 Chapter 2

Justine

I woke up because of the engine's sound, below the metal platform I used to sleep. As I open my eyes, I can see that Adrian is awake, his one leg bent, and the other is straight, an arm slung across his knee. He bites one of the cuticles of his fingers.

"Hey," he greets in a low and distinct voice.

There is something in his voice that startled me. It is deep and manly, like he is about to consume the remaining light in my body. I yawned then I stand slowly to ease the pain in my back. As I stretched my arms and legs, I hear my joints pop which feels so good.

"What time is it?" I asked, combing my hair.

He stands and checks his black watch, which is bounded with electric tape and a rubber band. I admire his resourcefulness.

"It's already 7 in the evening," he sits beside me.

I didn't realize that we went to that park in the afternoon and were captured by the threats. I guess amidst danger, time will somehow be bent, and when the troubles are over, it will bring back to its original flow. Or it is just me, being forgetful as always.

"How long I've been asleep?" I asked again.

"Maybe a couple of hours, I don't know," he shrugs.

I don't know why his presence perplexed me as if nothing dangerous is about to happen. My muscles and veins ease each time our skins touched, and my heart beats steadily. I like this kind of feeling. Only if I can express my love for him, this relaxation will be permanent.

"I'm sorry," he looks at me.

I didn't notice before, but now I can see his true beauty. He has round, blue eyes paired with thick eyebrows that turn up naturally. He also has a hooked nose and full lips. I'm starstruck by how perfect his face is—no wonder why I feel comfortable with him.

"Huh?" I asked, scratching my head.

"Why would you apologize?" I added.

"For not lending my shoulders to you," he said as he means it.

I'm shocked at what he had said; different questions appear in my head like; What is the apologizing about?, For not leaning on his shoulders?, Does he like it?. I keep my expression as calm as possible just to hide my romantic excitement. I can almost feel my cheek turning red and hot.

"Ah, it's fine," I say, smiling at him.

"You can lean on my shoulders now," he said, tapping his right shoulder.

He smiles back at me, which is the cutest one in our group. In each time he smiles or even just grins, it cast a tiny dimple on his cheeks. Just staring at him will provide warmth to me; my entire body will heat up as if being ignited by a match. As I lean on him, I can hear his heartbeat.

"I can feel your heart," I say, looking at the window of the bus.

"What does it say?" he asked.

"Lub dub. Lub dub," I mimic the rhythm of his heartbeat.

He laughs at my joke. It is my first time seeing him laughs, naturally. I wish we have the same feeling. I love him, but I'm too afraid to confess directly to him. The fact that he will just friendzone or we are both men only makes things worse and embarrassing. He stares at me. I can see my reflection in his eyes.

"You're clever, fearless, gentle, and a fascinating person I've ever met, Justine," he said, touching my hands.

"And I feel positive and comfortable when I'm with you," he added.

My insides are screaming with excitement. I feel my guts are starting to heat up; there is a fluttery sensation in my stomach as if it has butterflies on it. I keep my expression as calm as I can contain it, but I think it will break at any moment.

"Justine.," he said smiling.

I stare at his eyes. It is the bluest ocean. I read that eye contact is an intimate and vulnerable act, so intense that it can be crucial. I try to understand what is happening with us right now, but all I feel is the eagerness to know his feelings about me.

"Justine," he repeats my name.

I'm now in a state of thrill, meaning that my pleasure or excitement is so intense that I directly assume he loves me the way I love him. I hope it isn't just my assumptions controlling my head.

"I love you," he said close to my ears.

I pause for a second. I think my heart just stop beating after knowing the truth about Adrian's feelings with me. I guess this is what falling in love feels like.

"Of course, as a brother, right?" he then added, raising one eyebrow.

I feel my throat stiffens, followed by a blow in my stomach like someone punch me. Of course, Adrian's affection to me is no meaning. But instead, it is a brother to him. I feel like someone just craved a hole in my heart, leaving it empty. I think my tears are accumulating in my eyes. I pretend not to be affected by what he said.

"Of course, brothers," I force a smile.

I'm mad. I want to punch myself for being narrow-minded and make assumptions too quickly. The moment I stand up, I feel a little dizzy.

"Where are you going?" he stands.

"I'm just going to ask Drake where they will take us," I say.

I didn't stare at him as seeing his face will show that I'm affected by what he spit out.

"Are you okay?" he grabs my left arm.

"A while ago, you were playful, but now you seem a little bit off," he frowns.

I don't want to see him anymore. I want him to be away in my sight only if he knows how unbearable my pain right now.

"Yes, I'm okay," I say.

"Thanks for your concern," I added.

I approach Drake, who sits in a comfortable position, hands in his head and balancing his chair. He doesn't seem to be frightened of falling on the platform. I'm sure that one move of the bus will topple him.

"Hey," tapping his shoulder.

He is shocked so much that he almost lost the balance of his chairs.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" he snapped.

"I'm sorry to surprise you," I say.

I want to punch him in the jaw to knock him down, this will give us a chance to escape or maneuver the bus, but I am powerless. I can't even fist my hands.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I just want to know where you will be taking us," I answered.

Drake is vulnerable. I mean, I'm taller than him and have a broader body. I can fight him, but seeing the knife in his pockets, it's best to say that I need to have my gun back. I'm not good in hand-to-hand battles.

"Well, it's none of your business to know," he insisted.

"We just need to have at least information on the place where we will be trained," I said sharply.

He lifts his eyebrows for a moment, and in that expression, I thought he is a good guy, respectful and kind, but seconds later, he frowns as if he is frustrated by my presence.

"Why don't you get back there?" he points fingers at Adrian, sleeping in a curved position.

"It seems that you are a good brother to him," he smiles.

I clench my fist, ready to smack his face. I can't believe that he was eavesdropping on our conversation a while back. I breathed in my nose and prepared my fist, but I remember he has a knife in his pockets. He will stab me first, even before I throw a punch at him. Instead, I turned around and returned to my place. I'm about to sit, but the bus jumped and moves. I couldn't hold on to something; that is why my head smacks against one of the windows. The impact is so strong, the glass cracked. I let out a groan lying on the platform; blood is dripping on my forehead. Drake and the driver are laughing at me like they deliberately did that. The loudness of my yell awakes others as I see them kneeling at my side already.

"Are you okay?" Adrian asked.

"Do I look okay?" I hissed.

Adrian tears the hem of his shirt and wraps it around my head. I know he is worried and cares about me, but my angry covers that up.

"What happened?" Bethany asked, yawning.

"Just a little accident," Adrian responded.

My cheeks are hot, but it's not the excitement. It is my anger. It's easy for Adrian to say, I bet he will cry if he is in my situation.

"A little?" I snapped.

"Do you think I just trip and hey I'm okay, come and help me?" a little harsh in my voice.

"I'm just trying to help Justine," he gulped.

I calm down once I realize, acting like this will create a rift between our friendship or brotherhood so let my anger go away. I don't want Adrian to see that I was affected entirely just because his brother zoned me.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"It is just my head is in pain," I added.

He pities me now, his eyes glistened, and I see some tears filling his eyes. I guess something is wrong with him because if others are in my situation, he will just look worried, but he is utterly distraught if it's me. A spark of hope fills my heart that he loves me more than a brother.

"It's okay," he closes his eyes to wipe the tears.

"It is better that I will be the one to communicate with Drake," he added.

"Be careful," I uttered, touching his hand.

He stands and moves toward Drake. He doesn't seem to be scared. After all, if a fight will break up between them, I'm sure that Drake's face will become barely noticeable. Again, I'm confused about their personality of Adrian. He is so strong yet so weak when someone, especially me, is in pain. I know that he loves me. He just afraid to say it.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay" Clint touches my hand.

He cast a worrying look at me, just like Adrian but less meaningful. He steadies my position as I sit on the side of the bus and then sits beside me.

"Thank you," I smile.

He smiles back, and somehow my pain and anger are gone. I'm guessing that behind his smiles is something worth excellent. He adjusted the cloth in my head, tightening it. I can see how easy his hands are like he has done this before. Then I remembered him back in the old days. He used to be the varsity player of our university, and every time he manages to score, everyone will go wild, especially the girls.

"Do you miss playing basketball?" I asked.

"Yes, of course," he replied.

"I miss the cheers and the yells of everybody," he added.

It's hard to forget the days when things are still normal. Every day I saw people just doing what's left of their lives. They don't care about you and live peacefully in this world, but after the two significant events- the pandemic and the Millennium War, those days have become a story. There is no likelihood that this world will go back to its former glory.

"I still remember that Bethany has one of the loudest yells of all time," Carl joked.

My memories are short, but I can't forget how loud Bethany's yell is. It will sound like someone is dragging her.

"Wow, thanks for bringing that up," she rolls her eyes.

"But at least I'm not the one who desires to make out with the cheerleaders," she added.

I remember that Carl has this ominous perception about girls, especially if it is sexy or hot. When we have our boy's night out, he keeps saying that all he wanted is to "spread his genes" to the sexiest girl he will make out.

"Ops," Lolita said, covering her mouths.

"Spilling some tea time!" she added.

We used to be classmates, and some are my friends. I don't recall how I met them, but I can remember that we permanently bond together. There's that one time when we are in the park, riding all the rides—it kind of ironic that it is the same park where we got captured by the threats.

"Don't forget Justine and Adrian are scared of heights," teases Clint.

"Hey! That was supposed to be our secret," I punched him.

We all laugh together as we hear him groan and cringe. This is what we used to be, seizing and treasuring the moments of our once lives. I wish things will go back the way it is.

"Good old days," Lolita sighs.

Their expressions are becoming blank. They seem to recollect those times as I see tears starting to drip on their cheeks. Then moments later, I hear Lolita and Bethany's muffled sobbing.

"Let's not dwell too much in the past," Bethany sobbed.

"Shall we?" she added, wiping the tears in her cheeks.

I know how my dream of bringing back the average days is nearly impossible, but I still have them, keeping them as they are the remaining fragments of my past life.

"Yeah, but at least we have each other," I said, smiling.

They looked at me with glassy eyes and smiles back. Then I hear Adrian approaching us. He is done talking with Drake. Thankfully they didn't end up fighting each other.

"What's with the faces?" he asked.

He narrows his eyes and furrowed his brows, obviously confused about why we are crying.

"We just remember the past, that's all," Carl responded, his Adam's Apple goes down.

He just nodded and joined us. He offered his hands, extending them as to embrace us. We hug for at least a couple of seconds, and then moments passed, they let go.

"What did Drake say?" Clint asked.

Adrian's lips quiver and I can tell that he will say to us awful news.

"There is good news and bad news," he announced.

"What's is the good news?" I asked in a croaky voice.

"The good news is that they're not going to kill us, and there is a possibility that they will be going to free us all," he scratches his jaw.

"When we are all adrift, Dean entered the bus and observed us, then decided that if all of us are going to be trained, it will be a total waste of time and resources," he explained like he is tutoring us.

"And the bad news is instead of having the six of us, he will only get one," his bottom lip is jutting out.

"And it will be Clint or Justine," he added.

My tiredness is already gone as it was replaced by fear. My hands are starting to tremble again. I don't know what prompted Dean to deal with our negotiation. My heart is beginning to beat fast.

"What? I thought we have an agreement?" I say.

"I thought so too," he lowers his head.

I look at Clint, but he didn't look back at me. He just keeps staring on the platform. I want to touch him if that's what he wants, but judging how he moves slowly, he wants to be alone.

"What do we do?" Carl said.

"We need to develop a strategy on escaping here," Bethany responded.

In unison, they all stand except Clint and me. He is sitting, arms hugging on his legs.

"C'mon Clint, you are our leader," Lolita said.

"We can't do this without you," she added.

He stands, but I keep staring in the platform, unable to eat up the bad news Adrian serve at us. I can see that Clint is offering his hands, but I refuse it. I want to be alone at this moment.

"Just let him think," Bethany said calmly.

"Okay," Clint responded.

"We will talk out the plans without you, for now," he said.

I just nodded. All of them gathered on the north side of the bus. I can barely hear their voices, they are whispering, and by the looks of their faces, they have difficulties planning.

I'm alone. This is my time to think straight; as I collected my thoughts, memories with them, and feelings, an idea pops up in my head. Clint is the foundation of our group, and without him, we will collapse, but if it is me who has gone, the group will still function. I will sacrifice myself for their freedom. I want them to live without me and to continue without me. I can feel my eyes watering, but I force myself not to cry. I sniffed and gathered my courage up to approach Drake.

"Hey, Drake," I say.

"It's you again. What do you want?" Drake sighs.

"Can't you just take me instead, please " I clasp my hands.

This is my first time pleading for someone who doesn't have sympathy. He chins up and lets his chest out. In that position, I can see who he truly is, a self-centered person with minimal perception about life. He sees himself as a king of all. Well, he barely hafts of my size.

"Please, they're my family, and I don't want them to crumble down," I say, but softly.

They exchanged looks with the driver, probably shocked at my suggestion.

"Are you sure?" the driver asked.

"I had to admit that the training will be arduous, which I don't think you can handle," he added.

Some people like him and Drake, who never acknowledge the strengths and capabilities of others, are pretending to superior. Once someone proves how great they are, they certainly get insecure and spit dumb things at you.

"I'm sure," I responded.

"Okay then," the driver said.

"You are a good brother to your siblings," Drake teases me and laughs.

The bus moves abruptly, that I have to grab something to steady my balance, and it happens to be on Drake's face. I snort a little.

"Get your dirty skin away of me!" he throws my hands.

"No need to be harsh," the driver said, smiling.

"Shut up," Drake responded.

I turned away from them. I don't know how to say this to Adrian and the others. They will freak out and get the plan into action, but instead of approaching them, I sat back in my place again. I stare at the bus roof, remembering the memories in the past and the moments a while back. I can now taste my tears. It is salty. If this is the last time I will ever see them, it is in the wrong place. Suddenly the bus stopped.

"All of you get out, but one will remain," Drake stands.

I stand without looking at them. I don't want to see them crying and terrified for my sacrifice. I can still hear them murmuring about what they have a plan for.

"Hey, we already had a plan," Clint grabs my shoulders.

I didn't look at him. I keep walking until I reach Drake.

"The five of you, get in line!" Drake demanded.

"Before I change my mind," he added.

"Are we there yet?" Adrian asked, stopping in front of me.

"We are still miles away from the compound. This is where we will throw you out," the driver said, pressing a button that opens the door of the bus.

We stopped somewhere in the middle of nowhere. I let Adrian go first, followed by Clint, then Bethany, then Carl, then Lolita. I can hear them yelling for freedom the moment they got out. I stopped in the door, gripping my hands on the side, ready to close it.

"I'm so sorry, guys," I say, closing the door.

"What!" Adrian shouted.

"He sacrifices himself just for you to regain freedom," Drake said, peeking his head in the window.

Their expression ashen, like they witnessed death. They just stand still weighing on the truth- my sacrifice.

"Why would you do that?" Adrian asked, about to cry.

"Because," my voice is breaking.

"I love you all," I finally say.

The bus then moves slowly, I can hear their cries and shouts, but I ignore them. I see Adrian and Clint chasing the bus until they collapsed to the ground. I peak in the window and wave back as a sign of love and farewell. That's probably the last time I will ever saw them. I force myself to be strong, but who cares? I let myself go. I covered my mouth so that no one can hear me crying. As I sit on the platform, I can still feel their warm presence, faces when we laugh together, and their expression of knowing my sacrifice, which still flashes in my mind. I keep crying for a few minutes until I feel that I should get to sleep, so I lay on the platform in a curled shape, and eventually, I drift off.