1 THE WINTER DEMISE
The little Beatrix keeps on shouting.
"NO!?!"
"NO!?!?"
"Please NO?!?!"
"Papa... What's wrong?" Papa, who are they? "
And started crying out loud.
" Hush now, My Princess... Always remember, we love you so dearly "
My tears kept falling and called out...
" Mama...
"Maxim...
" Annika...
I reached out my small arms to my mother Duchess.
She's crying... Maxim and Annika too.
"Dimitri?! Beatrix!?! Duchess Anastasia called out while holding Maxim and Annika.
"What's the matter, Dimitri? What is this commotion all about?" Duchess Anastasia stuttered.
I tried to run to reach them but Papa keeps holding me tight.
I feel the fears of my Papa while embracing me.
I am out of breath.
I am suffocating from the terror and the uncertainty.
" Let's go, Papa... We have to go.." I begged him.
But the rebels with guns and torches, overrule all Palace guards.
They are burning and killing mercilessly each lady's servant, housekeeper, valet, and all whom they meet inside the Palace.
We have no more time to run...
We cannot go out...
The Palace is surrounded by the rebels.
My father, Tsar Dimitri hold me tight and covered me with his body for protection.
My mother Duchess Anastasia protected Maxim and Annika to no avail.
The sounds of gun...keep ringing in my ears.
Darkness flooded...
Smoke and fire everywhere...
When...
I heard my Nana saying "My Princess, it's been a long time that your Uncle Charles, the King of Sweden had been searching for you."
"I am happier and at peace being with you Nana and of course Leonid" I replied in sharp response.
" My Princess, your Uncle knows you are alive and I believe it's about time to meet him" she added.
I am full of doubts and anxiety about meeting Uncle Charles.
Instead of accepting Nanas' proposal. I ask her about the past, her heroic act, out of curiosity.
"Nana, how did you managed to save me that night?".
"I am preparing the tub for your bath my Princess when I saw the armed men coming in. I felt terrified and wanted to run but when I saw you shouting and crying, holding thy father Tsar Dimitri while bullets flying, my tears keep on falling. I felt terrible. The smoke and fire everywhere were suffocating, I barely breathe. When the rebels got off the Palace. I crawled from the back of the dividing wall, the entryway to the fireplace hearth, where you are covered with blood, and above you, is your father, his Majesty Dimitri. I checked all of you discreetly...one by one...your brother, Prince Maxim, Princess Annika, and Duchess Anastasia. It was only you, my Princess who's breathing..but unconscious. I wrapped you with the towel that I accidentally brought with me. Then started to slide you while crawling until we are at the back door of the kitchen. I almost fainted with the smell of smoke and fire... "
"Oh our Princess, my beloved. I am thankful to God that we can save you and the future of Oblonsky. And I'm delighted to see you grown as a fine woman with elegance. We have fought our freedom and life, in our endless concealment at the brink of Civil War. We are very lucky. Most of all, we are blessed to have my loving husband, Leonid." She said in narration.
"I thank you Nana and Leonid for keeping me safe, you are both my angel" I smiled with my sweetest response.
"It's time to bed my Princess Beatrix!" she exclaimed. "O we missed the time" she added.
"Thank you, Nana". I hugged her tight.
We clean up the table and helped Nana with the dishes. Then, I started to walk up the stairs and getting into my room, and freshen up with a hot bath in the tub. I prepared my hot bath which is my favorite bath every night with scented oils, dried roses, and lavender.
Then, I lighted my favorite scented candles in front of my vanity mirror and put another inside my shower room.
I undress in front of my vanity mirror that I always do before soaking in my hot bath.
And I'm looking into my whole body, in its reflection.
Oh, I have grown so fast, I missed my kin...
My loving father, my sweet mother, and my siblings.
My body was molded into fine features and almost perfect.
Except...
The scar...
The scar of a horrible past.
I felt numb.
My heart is covered with ice and trauma.
And now...I'm freezing...
I swiftly move and soaked into my hot bath.
Feeling the warmth, the comfort, the ease of my emotions.
Humming the song of my soul.
Singing the favorite lullaby of my Duchess mother.
"All hail the Queen of extravagance and glamour...
"Thy henchman and servants in perpetual ardor...
"Thy words are so immaculate...
"Not even a peasant could vindicate...
"You could be a knight and you could be a villain...
"You could be a follower and you could be a chieftain...
"A warrior, a woman, and a Queen...
"A warrior, a woman, and a Queen...
I drifted off to sleep.
The rolling thunder and lightning flashes caused so many anxieties and tremors in my body.
" Nana... Na-na... " I muttered.
The windows showed grim images of shadows.
I couldn't move. I'm freezing.
I cried out on top of my lungs.
"NO?!?!?"
And I'm awakened.
The water in the tub is already cold.
I quickly took my towel and slipped into my sleeping wear immediately.
Then, blow-dry my hair.
To release the tension that I am feeling from my constant nightmare.
I turned on my portable radio to play some music.
And a famous singer hit song "Lost in your eyes" played in the air.
Humming with the song of love.
Then, I took my journal notebook and started writing a poem.
I'm rowing my paddle when the current starts to shift,
The flow of the water changes in swift,
Fears and sadness succumb me,
When the tune of melody strikes thee.
I try to look back from where I departed,
The nurtured trees, singing birds and flowers started,
I grasp my heart and keep thy fire,
Shaping my masterpiece and a satyr.
The sun is glowing from above,
Brightens my darkness and gives off love,
I hold into the waters of my truth,
And set my sail to harvest my fruit.
Beatrix
My eyes are now weary and my emotions now subside. I closed my journal, put off the candles, and turned off the radio.
I lay down in bed then doze off to sleep.
