I fear not the darkness itself, but what may lurk within it

"Out of the way, Cinthea. Come on, I'm hungry," I moaned. We just finished our morning training and it was intense. Like fitness intense. Cid was not fooling around today. She made us run across the city on "missions" that we had to complete. The goal apparently was to familiarise ourselfes with the layout of the city streets and the quickest way possible to get to a certain point, but I think its much more than that. She seemed off, and on edge. She snapped at one poor girl who asked if she could use the bathroom, saying that if demons attacked you won't have any time for a bathroom break, which is true, but that's a little excessive just for a training exercise. I wonder if the King has been putting pressure on her, though I can't imagine why. The demons haven't breached the wall yet, and its hard to believe they ever will, but I'm not naive enough to believe that its impossible. Everything good comes to an end somewhere in life. It makes me think they're keeping something from us.

"Snow, for the love of sanity. Calm down, we're all hungry," Cinthea pulled me from my thoughts. I scowled at her.

"Not as hungry as I am," I mumbled. My stomach is growling so loud I'm sure our neighboring kingdom can hear it, and Cinthea is taking her sweet time with the bread. Choosing which one looks browner than the other, or a bit smaller. I was on the verge of throttling her when she finally moved on. Thank the goodness of this world. The line moved quickly after that, since there was no one being a picky eater. When we got to the table I hardly sat down before digging in. I glanced over to see Cinthea eating equally desperately, but of course she's using a fork and a knife. Ever the lady. Even with our Guardian Core uniform on, she still handled herself gracefully. We had practise in our uniforms, and I have to admit it was nice. We haven't put it one since four months ago, when the King gave his speech at the summary.

Hell, its been four months since I've awakened my powers. Time flies when your having fun. I glanced over at Thea. She could attest to that. She's been having the time of her life. While I've been training and working my ass off to get my powers under control, she's been goofing off with Logan and I've got no leads on him, nor evidence of his infidelity. I'll lie big time if I said it didn't irritate me to no end, but today is the day I'll find him and put him down. Not literally of course, but today is the day I'm going to get what I need to get him out of our lives

"So, where is your new bestie, Snow?" Cinthea drawled and for the second time that day I wanted to strangle her. She's taken to calling Noctis and me that everytime he shows up, or when we look like we're having a good time. Noctis is actually not such a bad guy. He's quite nice and actually has a great sense of humour. There is much more to him than I originally thought.

"He is not coming today," I answered after pausing a bit. I made a show of taking a bite calmly. I need to decide how to play this, otherwise the whole operation could crumble. Her head swung in my direction. Disappointment flashed in her eyes before indifference took over. I nearly laughed. Even though she tries to hide it, I can see she is clearly in love him with. Not the mighty crush some girls seem to have, but actual feelings. Why can't these girls just find nice, normal gentlemen, opposed to the bad boys running in this city. Angels above forbid me to go down that path. Atleast I've got more common sense to know that falling for a guy like that, would only end in heartbreak and tears. My thoughts flashed to the blond guy in my vision. I nearly scoffed and pushed that thought away. Not happening. I barely know him. I brought my thoughts back to the matter at hand. Today I'm going to the club Logan frequently visits, or visited. My sources told me they haven't seen him in a few months, but I'm hoping he'll miss his usual hang out place and show up. And I know that he and Thea won't be together, because Yuna was so kind to take the girls out for a shopping day. Its more of a cover to keep an eye on Thea and for me to find out what Logan does in his free time.

"Why isn't he coming today? I thought you weren't coming with us," Cinthea looked at me, eyes searching me face. If she's looking for something, she's not going to find it in my face. I don't reveal anything that I don't want revealed. I keep my face carefully blank when I answer.

"I'm not. Just because he's not coming in today, does not mean I can't train. He will though meet us this afternoon for the usual drinks," The lie is carefully crafted. Each word chosen for a specific meaning. To them, the meaning is clear: He's got something going on and can't make it.

To me and Yuna it means: I asked him not to come, because I'm not training today.

I meet Yuna's eyes and unreadable emotions passes through them. I fight to keep the frown of my face. Does she suddenly have second thoughts? I don't understand. This whole thing was her idea. Well, not the lie, and the shopping spree, that was mine, but still. I took the last bite on my plate.

"Why? Does he have something better to do?" Cinthea asked again and I fought to keep my emotions intact. I swallowed.

"I don't know, Cinthea. I didn't ask," Irritation still seeped through the cuts and bubbled to the surface. She looked like she wanted to ask another question, but I stood up, before she could voice it.

"Well, girls, I'm off. Got things to throw and places to be. I'll see you all later today for those drinks," I smiled and gave a little wave before walking away from the table to give my food tray back. The smile disappeared and in its place a look of determination appeared. I entered my room and began to change into a pair of jeans and tank top. I pulled my hair loose from the braid it was in to give it a more free look. I took my sunglasses from the dressing table and moved toward the windows. I waited till the door opened and Yuna filed in. I didn't turn. I waited and listened, but the silence stretched on. If it was anyone else, I would've ignored it, but its Yuna. I can't ignore my best friend. My sister.

"What is it, Yuna?" I finally asked and turned toward her. I was surprised to already find her watching me. Arms crossed.

"Are you sure you're doing the right thing?" She asks softly.

"Are you?" I countered. She sighed.

"I don't know," She whispered. "She looks so happy. So vibrant. Are we really helping her, or just dooming her?"

"Helping her," I said almost immediately. "She might be unhappy for the first few months, but she'll see that she's better off without him," I implored. Yuna nodded, but still not entirely convinced.

"Just trust me. I know what I'm doing," I told her, and she looked at me.

"I know that. I never said I didn't trust you, Snow. I just feel guilty, because this is her life, and we're messing with it. Shouldn't we just leave it to fate, and let it play out on its own?"

"I hear you, I really do. But how long is that going to take? How long till she figures out that Logan never changed? By the time fate finally ends this, she could've gotten over him already," I argued. She stares at me, then sighs.

"To rush fate, is to play with fire, and when you play with fire, you get burnt," She forewarned before grabbing her coat and turning away. Goosebumps appeared on my arms and I tried to rub it away. Minutes later I heard chatter outside my window and turned to see my friends dressed casually and laughing while walking down the street. I sighed and a sense of longing spread in my chest. I shook my head and stepped away from the window. I squashed the feeling and grabbed my own coat. Autumn arrived a few weeks ago and the afternoons gets quite chilly these days. I pulled it on and walked out the door, to which I find an unpleasant surprise.

"Where are you off to?" Lucy Malacaster smirks, while leaning against the wall. I merely stare at her.

"I don't see how that's any of your business, but then again since you are standing next to my door, you probably heard everything already,"

She scoffs.

"Puh-lease, nobody would want to eavesdrop on your room. I mean what if we turn into a frog? That is where all the magic happens right. The witchcraft and stuff?" She pushed herself of the wall with a smirk, tilting her head a little, making her strawberry blond hair fall over her shoulder. I can see she is trying to bait me. Its so her style. I smirk, but this time she won't get a rise out of me.

"Aren't you a little old for fairytales?" I ask her, but its a theoretical question. I couldn't care less even if I wanted to. Her smile falls, and mine only grows.

"You expected me to hit you right?" I take a step closer. "But the thing is Lucy, I am a lot more calm than a few weeks ago, and I've learnt that to be calm, is a lot more scary than to be angry," I whisper and her eyes grow wide. You know the nice thing about it all, I'm taller than her, so to intimidate her is a lot more easier than it should be. It actually sucks the fun right out of it. I turn away from her and start moving towards the stairs. Girls are starting to stop and stare and I do not want an audience around so she could spin a whole story and make it believable, because of what they think they saw. But before I could take the first step down, she called after me:

"You think you are so big and mighty with that new powers of yours, but what will happen when you're not a guardian anymore? Will you still feel so powerful?" She spat. I looked over my shoulder, assessing her expression. She is glaring at me, but something in her voice makes me pause. I narrow my eyes at her. She's planning something. But will she really go so far than to try and get me kicked out? I scoff. No, whatever she throws at me, I'm sure I could handle it.

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch, Lucy. I'm not going anywhere," I throw over my shoulder. I continue walking down the steps and stride out the door and out onto the streets. I'm not going to let her get to me. She can plan and scheme all she wants, but I'll see through them. She's not as smart as she thinks is. I stuff my hands into my pockets and peer up at the sky. The sun seems to have hide its face behind the ever growing dark clouds. That seems to happen a lot lately. The city looks so gloomy without its usual bit of sun. Winter does that to my home. In a few months it will casts a blanket of snow over the city to protect against the cold. Its beautiful, but so cold. The glass buildings surrounding the town square looms over the people of the Crown City. I sigh. I'm so used to seeing these buildings all over the city, I'm not even giving it a second thought anymore. All over the city, glass buildings stretches as far as the eye can see. It gives the city a modern look, but I think its over the top sometimes. The sunbeams reflecting on the glass panels blinds you if you so much as gaze up at the tall buildings. Its beautiful but I like the old victorian style more. I wind through the throngs of people towards my destination. The club Logan visits shouldn't be much farther than here. The modern, glass buildings turned into brick buildings and I knew I entered the more suburban district.

Downtown.

I never come here. Nobody ever does, except dealing with illegal stuff. Everybody knows it, but to catch them isn't so easy. If it was, this part of the city would be a lot more safer. These people are a lot smarter than you would think. I never tried to catch them myself, but when I finally graduate from training division, and begin to patrol the city streets, maybe I'll get to catch a few of them. You'll never recognise the gangs if you don't know how to look. They're regular people like you and me. Clean, shaved. Sometimes even wear suits to avoid suspicion. Or, so I've heard. My gaze darts around. The crowds of people moving about gets thinner and thinner the deeper I move into the suburban district. Flashing neon lights catches my attention. I smile, this must be the place. His friends, my sources, told me I couldn't miss it. Music vibrates through the walls and I notice the windows is covered up. Its the middle of the day. I didn't think they'd actually be open already.

"Can I help you, miss?" A deep voice interrupted my thinking. I glance sideways and see a sturdy looking man at the clubs entrance. I waver, then step forward and slide on a mask of confidence. This bouncer won't let me near this place if he thought I didn't belong.

"Yeah, I'm looking for a job, and was wondering if this place was open to see if they had anything," I wind a lock of hair around my finger, playing the role perfectly and peer up at him between my lashes. He looks me up an down, drinking in my curves. I had to suppress a shudder. When I'm done with this, I am so going to scrub myself in the shower. I hate using my body to get what I want. This isn't me, I don't even wear crop tops to show off my body. Then a thought struck me: I wonder what else can I get him to do with the right motivation. I almost lost hold of my mask. What the... Why did I think that? No, I'm just getting what I need, then I'm out of here. Nothing more.

Keep telling yourself that, that voiced whispered in my mind again. It sounds so much like my own, but I know its not. I'm starting to think my powers isn't the only thing that awoke inside me.

"Sure thing. I'm sure the boss would be happy to hire you. You have a nice enough body for that. Men dig that," He winks and push the door open, without taking his eyes off me. So I was right. I smiled coyly, before entering the building. The music hit me full on and I had to fight the urge to run back outside. I can't even hear myself think with all the noise. Woman in barely enough clothing dances on the stages, and I'm actually not as bothered by it as I thought I would be. I frown. A few weeks ago I wouldn't even have thought about stepping into a place like this. I walk deeper into the club searching for the bar. Men barely glance my way, so transfixed by the women on the stages. I step up to the bar and a dark haired guy, covered in tattoos glance my way. He makes a double take. His eyes widens in recognition, but its gone before I can think it over.

"What can I get you?" He shouts to be heard over the music and leans with his elbows on the table. His eyes filled with interest.

"Actually, I'm looking for someone. Someone named Logan Rhüde," I lift a brow, and he blinks before a mischievous smirk appears on his face.

"I can be anyone you want me to be," He winks. Is this guy for real? That can not be his best pick up line. The almost full tip jar standing near the end of the bar, strengthens my point.

"Are you serious?" I glare, and lean in. "Listen buddy, you seem like someone who knows how to handle girls, otherwise you wouldn't be working here, nor have a tip jar almost filled to the top, so why don't you cut the crap and give me who I'm looking for."

He sighs and straightens.

"What has Lo done now?" He murmurs. So they do know each other. What a coincidence. Friends? His others friends didn't mention him.

"Why are you looking for him?" He studies me. They must have a bond of some sorts, otherwise why is he protecting him?

"Why are you asking?"

"Do you always answer a question with a question?"

"Do you?"

He laughs under his breath.

"You're a funny one. I like you. And no, I don't, only when I want information, and I'm guessing you're the same?" He smirks.

I shrug. "Maybe, maybe not."

He stares at me.

"You're that Guardian, aren't you? The famous one everyone talks about. Lo has been back with one of his exes for a while now, and she's a Guardian too,"

I clench my teeth.

"How did you know?"

He smiles, "You've got those eyes everyone talks about." He glances at my arms.

"Plus you've got some nice, toned biceps. Most Guardians would try to cover it up. Says it scares off the men. Not you, though. You walk loud and proud. I'm guessing you'll do the same once you have a few scars to show off," He winks at me. I snort and lay my arms on the bar counter.

"That's because I don't need a man, nor do I wants to impress one. Though I am looking for one, and if you don't tell me where I can find him, I'll show you exactly how I put these muscles to use."

He lifts a brow, unaffected by my threat "Why do you want to find him so bad? Gotta a special meeting with him? Sorry, but he's taken."

I look into his eyes to see if he's joking or not. Brown with specks of gold stare back at me. His facial expression seems to be joking but his eyes stare at me earnestly. The funny thing about all this is that I may have a permanent mask on, but I can also recognise somebody else's mask. I recognise people through their masks, but if you look deep into their eyes you'll see the emotion they're trying to hide.

"No, but I do need to find out what he's doing when he's not with Thea."

"Thea? Who- Oh. His new-slash-old girlfriend. So I'm guessing the two of you are friends then."

I gave him a look, "If you have to know, yes. Thea is one of my best friends, but what is your relationship with Logan then? How do you know each other?"

He shrugs indifferently and looks away. He better talk fast, because this music is busy destroying my eardrums.

"We were friends in School, and when I started working here he used to come in a lot, but not these past few months. I haven't seen him since he got drunk and confessed to all his sins," He twisted his mouth and scrunched up his nose, giving an impression of hearing something vile. I frown. Then excitement entered my stomach. This could be what I'm looking for. If he could tell me what exactly what Logan has done, then I can definitely use this against him. Logan won't know what hit 'im.

"Really? Probably some drunk nonsense." I fake my scepticism. I can't seem to eager. If he knew I would blackmail his friend, there is no way he'd tell me anything.

He stares at me.

"Just as you called me on my bullshit, I also know when you're making stuff up to get what you want," He smirks at my shock expression and a reluctant smile begins to form on my lips.

"Worth a shot," I shrug and amusement flashes across his face. Then it vanishes, leaving a grave expression in its place.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Sure. I mean how bad can it be," I joke. He looks at me then sighs.

"The only reason why I'm telling you this, is because it involves you, and what he's doing isn't right. To both of you and your friend."

I straighten. What is he talking about?

"He came in here couple months back, already piss-ass drunk. His tab got closed at the other bar, so he came here. Then he began to mumble some stuff. Same old, same old. But the only difference is, names came up. Your name Thea's name. Then things started to get troubling. He would go on about how this girl kept ignoring him. He can't get her out of his head, and he would go on about how hot and beautiful she is. How different she is from the rest. Then he started confessing. He told me how he had to sleep with her best friend to just get her to notice. He never slept with a virgin before, but it had to be done to get the girl to notice. After a while I figured out how the names Snow and Thea fit into all of this. His been talking about you all this time. He's obsessed with you," He paused to let it sink in.

"No," I whispered. I sank into the bar stool and shook my head. "I don't believe this. He wouldn't sleep with Thea to just get to me. He can't be that evil," I cover my mouth with my hand. Numbness takes over. How can anyone be so cruel? Thea wanted to share her first time with a special person. The person she loved, and he only used her. He looked on with sympathy and that shook me out of my stupor. I don't want his pity.

"What else did he say?" My voice comes out steadier than I feel.

"He said that it still didn't get her attention. So he resorted to more physical advances, but it backfired and his girlfriend left him."

I remembered the time he tried to kiss me. I thought it was just a sudden urge. Horny-ness that got the better of him. I didn't think he was planning it for a while.

"But he said he got a plan. He would once again make sure to get in Thea's pants and make her believe he changed and that her best friend is jealous of them. Then he would slowly but surely make his way into your life and take what he wants so badly. Snow, I've never seen him like that. You need to be careful. He's not in his right frame of mind."

I gave him a look. "Not in the right frame of mind? Yeah, no shit. When did you figure that out? During or after his sick confession?" I yelled, anger burning hot in my stomach. Logan is sick. I knew he was a bad person, but this? He needs serious help. Out of the corner of my eye I saw some stuff rattling and took a breath to cool down, before glass started flying.

"I thought it was just a drunk guy rambling. We've got enough of them to not think anything about it. I never thought in my wildest of dreams he would actually follow through with it," He argued back and I wanted to smack him so hard. Then again, in a place like this, who wouldn't ignore an idiots ramblings when they've got better things to do. Then another thought surged up in my mind.

"You didn't think to warn her? She already thinks I'm jealous!" I exclaimed.

"How was I supposed to do that? If he already succeeded to brainwash her, how is she going to listen to a stranger, if she won't even listen to her best friend!" He yelled back. I sigh. He makes a good point. That red headed bastard is much smarter than I gave him credit for. I sit there dazed. Ice coats my veins and for the first time in a long time, fear enters my stomach. I can't believe a sociopath like him walks among us. How on earth am I going to get us out of this? How will I make Thea listen to me? There is no way I can back this up, and if I go charging and guns blazing, I'll just end up burning myself and risk losing a friendship.

"Are you okay?" He looks genuinely concerned, although its a tad misplaced.

"I'm fine. There must be a way to make her see that he is lying to her in her face."

"Maybe you shouldn't interfere," He advises. I glare.

"Like you? If you interfered in the first place, we wouldn't be here right now," I shot back. Okay, so maybe that doesn't exactly make sense. It sounded better in my head.

I sigh. This day is not going well. First Lucy, now this.

"I thought we already established I couldn't do that even if I wanted to," He glared back.

"No, we came to an agreement but that doesn't mean I can't still be upset about that."

He sighed and I glared a moment longer, before slumping in my seat. What am I going to do? I look around and at the thumping bodies in the crowd. Sweat glistening on the foreheads and skin. I blush and glance away when I see a girl on her knees in front of a guy, whose face is set in pure pleasure. There is no point in trying to figure that out in here. I can barely hear myself think. I sigh and stand up, but the bartender's voice stops me.

"Not gonna stay longer? Pleasure is sure to be found, and I heard its a great stress reliever too," He winks at me and I shoot him a dark look. Seriously? We were just talking about something serious and now he's back to joking again?

"Thanks, but no thanks. If I want to release some pent up energy, I'll sharpen my fighting skills," I turn around and walk away, but I hear him laugh behind me.

"Okay, but if you change your mind I'll be here," He calls out and I laugh under my breath. I focus on my core and feel that familiar hum of warm power flow through my veins. I picture a glass bottle I saw standing on the counter behind him, and a minute later a I hear a shout and glance back to see him drenched in his own alcohol. I laugh at his shocked expression, but his shock turns quickly into a grin when he sees my smile. He mouths:

Nice one.

And winks again before walking away. Probably in search of a towel. I open the door and finally breath fresh air in my lungs. I nod a greeting at the bouncer and begin to trudge back to the Guardian Core building. That was a complete waste of time. Well, maybe not a complete waste. I did learn some valuable Intel. But I'm no closer to my original objective. A gust of wind comes in from the West and I hug my coat closer to my body. If it carries on like this, I'm definitely not going to get our annual drink with Noctis and his friends. I am not a fan of this coldness and I will never be. I wonder how its going with the shopping. It doesn't seem like much time has passed, so they'll probably be busy a while longer. There is nothing more I can do now. I was so sure that I would get him out of our lives today, but it seems fate has other plans. I never planned for a back up plan, so I'm going to have to go back and come up with a different plan. If he is only using her, then he has to have other girls in his bed at night. There is no way he'll only stay with her. He'll get bored easily. Then again, that will make my job so much easier. Now how to catch him? I rack my brain for a plan or a solution, call it what you will, but I come up with nothing. Yuna might help, but she is busy. Besides, she'll probably just tell me leave it up to "fate" and I don't trust the other girls enough to not tell Thea what I'm planning. Fay is Thea's best friend like Yuna is mine and Cinthea and I are on a weird place right now. She might just tell Thea to piss me off on purpose or to make me lose a friend to get closer to them. I would put nothing past her at this point. I don't know who else... Wait, I do know somebody else I can ask. Somebody I should've gone to in the first.

My grandmother.

After walking all the way to the residential area in this city, I approach my grandmothers house. The house I've known my entire life. Its yellow walls so familiar like my own two hands. I knock and a minute later I hear footsteps approach the door. The door swings open and my grandmother's face appears.

"Snow, is everything alright?" Surprise turns into concern and I kind of feel bad. It seems lately I've only came to visit my grandmother if I'm in trouble or needs help. This time its no different. I make a promise to come visit her when this is over, without bringing my problems with me.

"Yes," I immediately say, then I remember why I'm actually here. I sigh. "No, not exactly."

"Well come in querida. It's very cold today, isn't it. Winter will be here in a few months and I've heard the people say it will be a very harsh winter this year," She leads me into the living room and I take a seat on the plush sofa.

"I just boiled some tea. Would you like to have some?"

"Yes, thank you. That would be wonderful," I lean back and take in my surroundings. Something is different. Then I see it. Photos of me hanging above the fireplace, but that can't be. I've never worn that dress. I stand up and take a closer look. There is some other photos of the same girl and a man. They both seem vaguely familiar. Why would grandmother have these?

Oh my word.

I take a photo standing on the mantle and look closer. This isn't me.

This is my mother. And in the next one, standing next to her with his arm around her shoulders, my father.

Rose and Arthur Kingston.

She looks just like me. Or rather I look like her. We have the same brown hair colour. The same nose and chin. The face contours looks the same. My smile though, I get from my father. One might think because I've seen them all my life in textbooks, I'd be familiar with the way they look, or that I'd notice how similar I look to my mom, but seeing them in here is so different. Now I know they're my parents, and for the first time I can really see the similarities between us. It makes me wonder how I could've missed it in the first place.

"Since you knew about them, I thought it was time to put their photos back up," I turn and find my grandmother looking at me. I didn't even hear her come in.

"I always did think this wall was a bit bare," I sniff and realised I've been silently crying. A lost tear fell, and I swiped it away with my hand. "Sorry," I try to laugh it off, but then my grandmother envelopes me in a hug.

"No need to apologise. This is the first time you've seen your parents outside school books. Now they seem more like parents, than nation heroes. I can understand if it's hard to see them after all this time,'' She stroke my hair and I relished the feeling of being in her arms. Then she pulls back and looks me in the eye.

"I am quite surprised you let me comfort you like this. You usually shy away from any affectionate attention."

I smile weakly, "Yeah, you say that a lot, but I don't think the girls would agree with you at this stage." I might as well start the conversation this way. I don't know how else I'm going to tell my grandmother that I'm trying to break up my best friend and her a-holl boyfriend.

"Does that have anything to do with the fact that you smell like alcohol and smoke?" My grandmother stared at me knowingly.

Crap. I didn't even think about that. Maybe I should have showered before I came here. Plus I didn't exactly want my grandmother finding out I've been to a strip club.

I cleared my throat. "That's part of it," I answered carefully.

"Well, why don't you sit down and tell me all about it."

So I did. I told her about Logan being back and about my crusade to break them up. I told her how I got in touch with his friends and how they led me to this club where he used to visit. Though I did leave out the fact that it wasn't a normal club. Then I explained to her about what that bartender said. Minus the flirting bit. Through all this she sat still and listened, never once giving away what she was thinking.

"That is quite troubling," She said after I finished. I took one big gulp of tee, to stop me from voicing the retort that came to mind.

"So what are you going to do now?"

I made a double take. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

She smiled secretly. "I think that's for you to figure out. You've come a long way now on your own, querida. Even if I did tell you what to do, it will still be your decision if you're going to do it," She sips her tee calmly while I stare at her.

"So you're telling me, you know what to do, but you're not going to tell me because I might not like it."

She laughs softly.

"No, I'm telling you what I would've done, but knowing you, you're not going to do it."

I sigh. "You would have left it up to fate, wouldn't you?"

"There is no telling what I would have done."

I throw my hands up. "You're speaking in circles."

"What I'm trying to say is, you need to do what you believe is right. And not what that ugly voice in your head is telling you to do."

My head whips in her direction. She looks at me intently.

"How did you know about that?"

"My dear, I would be a fool or blind to not see what you've been struggling with," She sits closer and takes my hand within hers. "Now you listen to me, and listen very closely. There is a negative side to your powers, like there is to all things good. For light can not live without darkness and darkness can't live without light, but that does not mean you can't beat it. The darkness does not control you, you control it. All you have to do is remember who you are," She holds my cheek and looks me in the eye. The words struck deep. All I have to do is remember who I am. That's all. Can it be so easy? This darkness or whatever is taking me places I'd never go. Making me think things I'd never think about. Or was it just a part of me all this time and when I awoke my powers, it became more dominant. Stronger.

But I'm stronger than that. I am my my mother's daughter. The daughter of the best Guardian Core leader this Nation had. I am also the daughter of one of the best fighters this world has seen. And before that, when I didn't know who my parents were, I worked so hard to become the best Guardian of my generation. I have my own strengths and weaknesses, but it's only a weakness when I can't overcome it. So I will not let this thing destroy me inside out. Not when I've come so far. I have not come this far, to just come this far.

"There is my girl. The girl with the fire in her eyes that burns like a Phoenix in her heart. Never lose that. Not even when you hit rock bottom, because you can always crawl back out," She kisses my temple and I have to wipe a few tears that fell from my eyes. I gave her a hug.

"Amo a tu abuela," I tell her.

"I love you too, querida," She tells me and pulls back.

"Now tell me something, Snow. How have the training been going?"

"Okay," I shrug and its true. It has been going good. I've got my abilities under control, more or less. "I've noticed that my telekinesis is rather sensitive to my emotions, though."

"Ah, yes. I thought as much. You are extremely powerful with powerful abilities. Your father expressed his worry many times and even he wasn't as powerful as you. The only people that could break him out of his anger frenzy was his best friend, King Manuele and your mother," She told me. That reminded me when Yuna talked me down when I lost control. She really helped calm me down that day. I just don't think Noctis could do that for me. Why am I even thinking about that? Everybody expects us to be together, because I'm apparently the one he actually falls in love with. Like in the novels where the womanizer falls in love with this one girl, and now they're suddenly meant for each other. I don't think so and one day he'll realise that. Besides, I'm only seventeen, there is still plenty of time to find my soulmate. If there even is such a thing. Then again, I don't think I'll live to tell the tale, anyway. So what does it matter?

"A penny for your thoughts, Snow?" I found my grandmother looking at me, searching for something.

"I was just thinking about the future and everything that might happen... or never happen, for that matter," I said tentatively. I don't like sharing my inner thoughts with just anyone. I hate it, so to speak. It makes me feel extremely vulnerable and just the thought of someone I trusted, using my fears against me, makes me queasy.

"What do you think you'll miss out on?" She looked at me with interest and curiosity, and not a bit of amusement, thinking I'm jumping the gun a bit, nor thinking I'm being ridiculous.

"Everything. On life, love, happiness. A family," I said the last bit softer. I'm not sure I want kids, but to have a husband to spend my life with doesn't sound so bad.

"You think you're going to die out there," My grandmother said softly. She looked down to her lap, not meeting my eyes.

"I know I'm going to die out there. You can't fault me for stalling as much as I can. You and I both know this is a suicide mission. If I go out there, I'm not coming back," My tone turns imploring and I try to swallow the lump in my throat. Admitting it out load for the first time since I found out about all this, makes it all the more real. When my grandmother finally looks at me, her eyes are shining with unfallen tears. Then I know what I said was true. It's what she's been thinking, but not saying. Something she had to come to terms with herself.

"Its not written in stone, querida. You don't know that. You are stronger than you think," She reminded me, but I shake my head.

"Then why are you crying, abuela? You know what I'm saying is true," I argued. How can she not see the truth? It doesn't have to be written in stone for it to happen anyway.

"There is a lot of factors in play here, querida. Things you do not yet know about," She warned. I frowned.

"Then tell me," I begged. She shook her head.

"No, I cannot. It is my problem to deal with. It is something that I had to live with for many years," She sighed and I could almost see the weight that bears on her.

"It's about one of your visions isn't it?" But how? Could she have gotten another vision after my mother is born? Is that even possible? I thought once a girl is born, the power passes on to her.

"It was my last vision I ever had," She confirmed. "It was the night before your mother was born, that I had received this vision. At first I didn't know what I was seeing, I didn't know for a long time, but now things are starting to fall into place. Everything is clear now," She admitted. She had this far away look in her eyes again. Something she always gets when she's thinking deeply, or thinking about the past.

"You could've seen this far? How?" I only get glimpses of the future a few months a head of me. Like that blond guy I had a few visions of, and then of that hell-awful guy I'm going to kill. Angel forbid that from happening soon.

"That was the only time I had ever received a vision so far into the future. Though I think with time, you're abilities will grow stronger, then you'll also be able to see much farther then the rest of us could," She explained. I sigh.

Great. Seeing only as far as I can see at the moment, is already a pest, now to see much further, how awful is that going to be.

"It doesn't matter, now does it? Even if I could see months into the future, it wouldn't change a thing. I won't even know it's happening until it already happened," I argued. My grandmother nodded.

"What you're saying is the truth. I always thought that to be a waste of the ability, but I'm thinking in rare cases it could be quite helpful," She explained.

Like when? I wanted to ask, but stayed silent. I know better than to question my grandmother's believes. If she believe something, it's probably in your best interest to believe in it as well, or to at least not argue with her on it.

"What has this got to do with the fact that I'm not going to die out there?" I asked. It still doesn't convince me that I'm going to survive this suicide mission.

"Nothing and something," She replied evenly and I wanted to roll my eyes. Of course she'll answer cryptically.

"Snow, to know something is going to happen, is a blessing and a curse. You either have the power to change it, or, knowing what's going to happen, you can do nothing at all to stop it. It's the same with not knowing at all. You either have the power to make sure you come back alive, or you die trying, but what makes it worthwhile even if you fail, is that you still tried, knowing what would happen, or knowing nothing at all," She tells me. What she says makes sense when you think about it. People knowing what could happen, still does things, either because they hope for a different outcome, or because their sacrifice will mean something bigger in the end. Soldiers go to war knowing they could die, but they still do it for their nation. One day when I've graduated from Guardian training I'll have to go on missions that could also mean death, so what am I so afraid of then? Why is this so different?

"Someday you'll see that there is nothing to fear, except fear itself. Not even failure can scare you. Death is inevitable, because everyone dies at some point. Querida, you might not understand why you are so afraid now, but everything will happen as it must. If you are meant to succeed, you will. Remember you are not alone. You have the Kings Power to guide you if you get lost," She reminds me. I nod, she is right. I've never been afraid of failure, because my grandmother always taught me: If I give it my all, then no one can ask more of me. I just don't think it's failure I'm so afraid of. A blond haired guy pops up in my brain and I shove it away. Not now, I scold myself. Now is not the time to wonder when and if I'm going to see him again.

"Now, I think it's time for that little get together you have with prince Noctis and his friends these days. Don't you think?" My head whips in her direction so fast I'm sure if it wasn't screwed on tight it would've rolled right off. She smiles at me sweetly, but I can see through it. I narrow my eyes at her.

"How do you know about that?" I demanded.

"Well, it's not like its a secret or anything," She shrugs and I gape at her. Is she for real? Did she just sass me?

"Are you serious? You went from giving me advice, and to the wrong thing might I add, to sassing me?" I stare at her dubiously.

"What? I just want to know what's going on in my granddaughter's love life. This is the first time you've given a boy the time of day," She gives me a pointed look.

"No, this is the first time I've given a boy a chance after the rumours Lucy spread in the academy," I argued. I got hurt a lot of times, because I gave too many chances to too many guys, thinking this time it might be different. Luckily I wasn't in love with any of them. I was too young to know what love is. It was just dumb crushes that led to disappointed and making me distrust every guy I came across. No one has proven me wrong yet.

"Not every boy is like them. Think of Promto. You and him seem close," She reminds me. I shrug.

"Yeah, to an extent. Sometimes I get the feeling he thinks I'm someone else. Besides, he likes to flirt a lot, so I'm not sure he is friends with me, because he wants to be, or because he finds me hot and likes to mess with Noctis," I replied stiffly. It'll suck big time if he's only friends with me, because he finds me beautiful. I've actually come to like Promto a lot.

"I think you should give them the benefit of the doubt. They seem like honest people."

I sigh. "I don't know. I guess I'll see where this friendship goes. As for Noctis, nothing is going on there. We're just friends," I tell her determinately.

"Is there someone else then?" She asks. If I was n planet, I'd be out of my orbit. It felt like the floor was sucked out from under me. It's strange actually. It's a very strange feeling. I felt myself blush when I thought about the blond guy. Goodness hell, I don't even know his name. When I met my grandmother's eye, she lifted a brow at my red face, and a secret smile appeared on her lips.

"Alright, you don't have to tell me, but a lot of thinks makes sense now," She winks at me and I stare at her dumbfounded.

"What makes sense?" I realised my voice raised an octave, so I cleared my throat and tried again. "What do you mean?"

She laughs softly. "Come now, you need to get going, otherwise you'll be late," She stood up and took the teacups to the kitchen.

"No, there is till enough time to explain what you mean by that," I argued, but it fell on deaf ears. She only hummed and shuffled me to the door.

"Bye, querida. Have a nice time. I love you," She waved and shut the door.

Wait the door? I looked around and realise I'm standing outside.

Are you kidding me? For real? Did I seriously just get kicked out of my old home?What is it with this day and its surprises? I kicked one of the lose stones on the pavement and look up at the sky. The clouds are darker than it was earlier today, but that does not mean it's time to meet Noctis yet. I look toward the town square. One big glass building stands out from the rest. The Jewels on top of the building looks dull on this cloudy day. The clock situated just under the jewels shows its just after four. My grandmother was right. It is time to leave. It'll take some time to get back to the area of Guardian Core building. So I'll have to get walking. How my grandmother knew where we were meeting up, is a mystery on its own.

***

Noctis:

"So the story you told me about wasn't actually a story? Its the truth?" Noctis and his friend stood in his father's study with Luke, the kings general. It's spacious room held a lot of memories of the prince as a child when he used to sit in this very room and sometimes watch his father work. Other times he would gaze out the windows that took up the entire wall, and watch the daily bustling of city life. From the room you could see the whole Crown City and even that of beyond the wall. The young prince would sit and dream about jumping from roof to roof. Some of the roofs are flat enough for that. Especially those of the Down Town buildings. Most of those building have flat roofs to jump across. It's a common teen activity to do. Most of the buildings are abandoned, but not that dangerous. No accident have occurred, that Noctis knows about. So if you were looking for an adrenalin rush, that's your spot. Noctis broke out of his memories of him and his friends jumping those same roofs years later, his father spoke.

"Yes, and I'm surprised it took you this long to come ask me about it," The king squinted at the papers he was holding.

"Well I'm sorry, but since you were so busy, this is the only time I could come and ask you," Noctis drawled, and even then he still didn't get his fathers full attention. The king sighed.

"Look son, right now there is more important matters that needs my attention, than a story I told you when you were little," His father made brief eye contact with his son and then went back to squinting at the papers. This time is was Noctis' time to heave a sigh. He walked to his fathers desk and pulled glasses out from under the papers.

"It will go easier if you actually use these," Noctis said in a flat tone. His father blinked up at him.

"Thank you," He put the glasses on and blinked a few times before going back to his papers, this time making quick work reading them. Noctis watched his father for a moment, like he did when he was younger, and again, like all those times he thought about being king himself. Fulfilling that role his father played so many years. Its big shoes to fill. Sometimes he wonder if he is even meant to be king, if there isn't some greater destiny set out for him. He doesn't want to sit in a study the whole day, filling out papers and kissing royal asses. He wants to be out there in the field, fighting along side his soldiers, or going on adventures, discovering new people and places. Though some would argue and ask what greater destiny is there than being king of a nation that thrives in difficult times.

"I sense a argument coming," The king murmurs and Noctis blinks. Ah yes, the story. There definitely is something he wants to tell his father.

"Yes, of a matter of fact, there is one coming. It's not just a story, father. It's the truth about Snow's parents. Rose Hathaway, that's her mother right, and Arthur KIngston, her father? They also dueled, but her mother won, and she was hellbent on doing the same," His voice rose a bit. When Snow's grandmother told them the whole story about her parents and how they met and what initially made her snap, he was livid. He had no idea how much this actually meant to her. He is also ashamed to admit that he had this warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach, when he learned that history repeated itself. Rose and Arthur was en epic couple and everybody looks up to them. He had hoped that maybe its a sign that they'll also become as great as them one day.

"It is true son, but the difference between you and Arthur was that he didn't cheat his way into Rose's life. He tried to won her over fare and square. Yes, he thought that his strength would impress her, just like all the other girls, but Rose wasn't like all the other girls. She couldn't care less if he was a god or a mortal man. She just wanted to be loved, and cared for. Though don't get me wrong, Rose was a woman who could take care of herself," His father laughed and shook his head. The way he talked about them, gave him the idea that he knew them well. Goosebumps broke out on his skin. Of course, his father is more or less the same age as Arthur Kingston. It only just occurred to him now. Its so strange to him. He can't fathom thinking that the great Arthur Kingston could've known his dad.

"It sounds like you knew a great deal of them, your majesty," Ignis spoke up and Noctis startled. He forgot his friends was in the room. He saw General Luke glance at his father and immediately became suspicious. There is something they are not telling me, he thought. The king sighed.

"Well, since you half the truth, you might as well know the full truth."

Noctis and his friends exchanged a glance and nothing could have prepared them for what the King is about to tell them.

"I knew Arthur quite well, and I'll take pride is saying I know him the best, apart from Rose of course."

Noctis knew his father was stalling, he just wished he'd get it over with.

"The reason is because Arthur Kingston is my brother."

A breath was snuck in, but it didn't come from Noctis. No, his breath got stuck on the way out. His brother? My uncle? Noctis thought.

"Does Snow know?" The question came out as a whisper. He had no strength to put more volume into it.

"I suppose she does. I would think Snow's grandmother would have told her after everything," His father looked on with sympathy and something else. Surprise? No, that doesn't look like surprise. Its something more deeper. Could be amusement? What is so funny about this, Noctis wonders.

"But why does he have a different surname then you do, your majesty?" Noctis was glad Ignis was the one asking the questions. His brain was completely fried. Noctis sat down on one of the leather chairs in front of his fathers desk. Hells, no wonder she wanted nothing to do with him. They're actually cousins for goodness sakes. He felt nauseas. How could he not have known? A hand covered his shoulders, and he looked over to see Promto giving him a grim look.

"That's because he is not my blood brother, he-"

"What?" Everyone exploded. Noctis stood up. Hope surged, but he squashed it down. Disappointment is not a feeling he wants to experience again.

"Why didn't you say that in the beginning?" Noctis demanded.

"Yeah, I mean no offense, your majesty, but Noctis was dying of disappointment and heartache over here," Noctis shot Promto a dark look and in return Promto only grinned. The kings lips twitched, but it was gone before Noctis was sure it was there.

"Well, I wanted to see how Noctis would react. Besides even though Arthur wasn't my blood brother, he will always be my brother and my best friend. We grew up together after his parents abandoned him, and where is the fun in telling you he is my adopted brother," The king winked, and Noctis rolled his eyes. Sometimes his father acts like a real teenager.

"Well I hope my reaction was satisfactory to you," Noctis drawled and his father smirked.

"It's as I suspected," His father said mysteriously and Noctis sighed. The king went back to the papers in his hand, already writing stuff down. Its obvious Noctis won't get anywhere with his father anymore, not like he needs to anyway. He got what he wanted. He looked curiously at General Luke and wondered why he was in his fathers study so much. No, its not uncommon for the general to be in his fathers study everyday, but to be in there all day is a little excessive. Noctis knew something was up, and he also knew Snow was aware of it. She has her guard up more than usual and is constantly on high alert like she's waiting for something to happen.

"Father, is something going on?" Noctis decides to ask his father directly. Better than playing the guessing game.

"Nothing you have to concern yourself on, son," His father waved him off without looking up from his writing. Noctis hid his annoyance at his father and spun on his heel to walk to the door, but stops before he turns the handle.

"You know father, in a few months I'm going to be king, but that means nothing if you can't let me in more and become more involved in how this Nation works," Noctis admitted bitterly before opening one of the double wooden oak doors and entered the corridor. He heard his friends saying goodbye and follow him out. He wordlessly walked down the corridor until he emerged on the staircase that split off into two directions, the east wing where he comes from, and the west wing where his bedrooms and all the other spare bedrooms are located.

He walked down that stairs, but before he can reach the door a voice called out to him.

"My prince, if I can have a moment of your time," Noctis turned to see General Luke walking down the stairs. The two swords hanging on his hips clanked together.

"What is it, General?" When his mother died, the general really helped him through a bad time. His father pushed him away when Noctis needed him most, owing to the fact that he grieved his wife. These days, Noctis is pushing the general away. He didn't need the general to look out for him anymore. He's twenty years old, he doesn't need a babysitter anymore.

"There is some things your father is still protecting you from. Even at this age," General Luke at least had the decency to look sympathetic.

"Like the fact that he lied about his his adoptive brother's daughter? She could have lived with us. I could have gotten to know her sooner," Noctis exploded and realised that's what is gnawing on him the whole time. So many lost time, and not enough to make up for it. He could have known her his whole life, but instead his father claimed her to be dead.

"Your father protected her. He and miss Hathaway decided together it would be best if the world believed her to be dead," The general explained.

"We could have protected her. I, could have protected her," He amended. No matter how hard he tries, he can't get all the if's out of his head. General Luke sighed.

"Yeah, man. We all could have had a sister and a female addition to our group," Promto glared at the general and Noctis was surprised to find how serious he was. It seems the news about Snow hit all of them hard as well. And maybe when Promto lost his sister, Snow could have filled up the hole in a way they never could.

"I, too find it quite hard to understand why his majesty would fake his brother's daughter's death and to know that his best friends daughter is out there but knows nothing of her heritage, must have been extremely difficult for him," Ignis spoke up for the first time since they confronted Noctis' father.

"I think it was a strategic move," Gladiolus stated and heads swung in his direction.

"I thought of that too, but what did his majesty want to succeed by doing this?" Ignis said thoughtfully.

"It doesn't matter whether or not she stayed with you or not. She would have put you all in danger. The demons were after her parents and they were attacking the city relentlessly to get to her. If she stayed alive, they would have broken through the wall and the barrier and destroyed the city in search for her. The king had to choose between his city or his brother's daughter, but knowing the promise he made, he chose a different path. He let her grow up with her grandmother, because think, if she had to grow up with you boys, she would have constantly been in the limelight. Someone would have suspected something, then everything would have fallen apart. Everyone got what they wanted in a manner of speaking. It was the best choice to make," He explained and Noctis hated how much sense he made.

"Oohhh," Promto stretched out the word. Noctis looked at Ignis and Gladiolus and saw the same understanding dawn upon their faces. He sighed.

"Fine, but that doesn't mean I have to like it," He relented. The general smiled stiffly and Noctis spun on his heal and walked out the door.

"Wait Noc, are you okay?" Promto jogged up to his friend. Noctis turned and saw his friends all looking at him with concern. He wiped a hand through his hair.

"I will be. It wasn't easy hearing those things, but there is nothing I can do to change the past," Noctis sighed. He wish he could. If he could turn back time he would've done so many things differently. If only he knew about her, he would've found her, brought her home. A thought occurred to him. Then she would've grown up as his cousin, or his sister, if his father chose to adopt her and he doesn't know which is worse. If she had grown up with him, these feelings for her would almost be forbidden. He would have felt guilty for feeling like this every time he came near her.

"Even though you didn't grow up with her, you still have the chance to get to know her. Noctis, she isn't blood family, there is still a chance for the two of you," Promto reminded him. Noctis knows he is right, there is still a chance.

"I am inclined to agree with Promto on this one. Not all is lost, my friend. She might still come to love you," Ignis reassured him, but it doesn't exactly make him feel better.

"She already knows the truth about everything. She might view me as her cousin, then what? She is so stubborn, there is no way I can convince her otherwise," Noctis began walking again and the others fell in their familiar formation around him.

"Well that might be the case now, but after a while she'll see that her feelings run deeper than that," Promto threw his arm around Nocts' shoulders, grinning.

"Not to give you false hope Noc, but I think being a friend first and lover later, means more to her right now. It seems she does not fully trust any of us yet," Ignis looked at him apologetically and Noctis sighed. He noticed the same thing, The girls never talk about any guy friends and the only guy he ever heard the girls mention was Thea's boyfriend but Snow seems to dislike him plenty, and the others are quite wary of him.

"Yeah, I think you're right. I noticed the same thing too," Noctis murmured. Noctis glanced at the clocktower in the middle of the tower, and saw it was half past four. They walked the rest of the way in silence, mulling over the recent news.

***

Snow:

I sat at our usual table waiting for the others to show up. Since I'm so early I ordered a non-alcaholic drink and was stirring my drink, deep in thought when the bench suddenly shook. I looked up expecting to see one of my friends smiling at me, but instead I got a very familiar, very handsome, blond haired guy. My heart goes into overdrive and mouth drops open.