18 Unstable/Leaving

"Hah... Master," Lilith moaned as Lucifer fucked her from behind, pushing her head into the ground as he pounded into her.

The conversation with Tathagata was just the start of his problems, over the decades he ended up growing even more unstable, but at least he could train in peace.

He had since buried himself in training, hoping that the physical exhaustion would help quell the tumultuous storm within his mind. Each day, he pushed his body and mind to their limits, seeking solace in the relentless pursuit of strength and power. His martial skills honed to perfection, he was a force to be reckoned with.

But the darkness remained, an ever-present shadow lurking at the edges of his consciousness. He could feel it tugging at him, tempting him to give in to the chaos and unleash his destructive wrath upon the heavens.

Lilith, his once loyal student, noticed the change in him. She could sense the turmoil he was going through and became increasingly concerned for him. As their bond had deepened, she had grown to care for him deeply, and she was determined to help him in any way she could.

And this was how he chose.

"Ah! Yes harder master!" Lilith screamed, her body glistening with shimmery sweat as Lucifer continued to disrespect her in every way he knew how.

he wanted nothing more than to please him, to be his perfect slave. To do whatever it took to make him happy, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

This was no longer about pleasure, or even dominance. It was about control.

Lucifer grabbed ahold of her throat, picking up the mortal turned goddess and poisoning even faster deep into her pussy as she shook, coughing as her airflow was taken away.

"No... Master..." Lilith gasped, struggling against his hold. "Master, I... I can't breathe!"

She was choking completely, and she knew it. If she was human she'd die.

Why does a dirty goddess like you need air? Are you saying you can't even take this small bit for me? I thought you said you loved me!" Lucifer screamed, tightening his grip as he continued slamming into her body as her eyes rolled back, succumbing to his control as she came.

Lucifer finished, breathing heavily as his green eyes were all black, and he dropped the goddess, cleaning himself up quickly and whisking his clothes back onto him.

"Get up, the sight of you is deplorable..."

Lucifer didn't know why he verbally abused Lilith. In the first place he had brought her to this realm. Tathagata had been right, perhaps he had always dropped hints in Lilith's mind and eventually she couldn't resist such sweet temptation.

'But how is that my fault? It's her own choice...' He thought as she struggled to her feet, cleaning herself off as tears gathered in her eyes.

Lilith missed the kind fallen angel who had promised to protect her, the one she had fallen in love with and given up her entire race to be with.

"You hate me don't you?" Lucifer asked, seeing her expression and grabbing her by the shoulder.

"N-No! I could never hate you Luci!"

*Slap*

"The fuck?" He said, Lilith's face turning red as he had smacked her hard. "What did I tell you to call me from now on..." He growled, sighing as he saw the shaking goddess.

"Forget it, I already know you've grown tired of me, once a slut always a slut, you even betrayed your race for a taste of forbidden fruit, truly disgusting..."

Lilith turned quickly, leaving the area before she cried in front of Lucifer.

"Hah... Fucking Tathagata," Lucifer whispered to himself.

Lucifer's once vibrant green eyes were now dull and sunken, a reflection of the darkness that had consumed his soul. His once lustrous mane of black hair now hung limp and unkempt, a stark contrast to the angelic beauty he once possessed. His once strong and imposing figure now appeared sickly and emaciated, a shadow of his former self.

He hated what he had become, a mere shell of the charismatic and cunning being he used to be. The darkness within him had taken root and grown, feeding off his self-hatred and resentment. Every time he looked in the mirror, he saw a creature he loathed, a reminder of the choices he had made and the path he had taken.

His mind was a battleground, a constant war between the light and dark within him. The once noble and compassionate angel had been replaced by a bitter and hateful entity. He despised the gods, despised the humans, and most of all, he despised himself.

The memory of his fall from grace haunted him day and night. It wasn't him being locked and kept as a slave, it wasn't his temptation toward the humans. It wasn't even going against the gods and making Lilith a goddess. It was the day he'd began to lose himself.

Tathagata's words were a loop in his mind, but his paranoia could not be ceased, he couldn't let the buddha and The Jade Emperor win against him. Perhaps pride was his greatest sin.

He had once believed in the power of free will, that all beings should have the right to choose their own destiny. But now, he saw it as nothing more than a cruel illusion. Free will had only brought suffering. Gaia had been completely wrong in his eyes.

His encounters with Tathagata had only fueled his self-hatred further. The Buddha's taunting smile always struck a nerve during meetings, reminding him of the being he had become. He hated the Buddha for his smugness and his apparent ability to see right through him. He hated that he was right about him.

In his darkest moments, Lucifer found solace in pushing others away. He didn't want anyone to get close to him, to see the pathetic bastard he had become. He didn't talk to his siblings, and he completely ignored any attempt Hephaestus had made to see him in the last century.

He had hurt Lilith, the one person who had shown him unwavering loyalty and love, and he hated himself for it. He didn't deserve her kindness, and he was adamant that she would eventually leave him like everyone else.

And so, he pushed her away, spewing hurtful words and cruel actions. He didn't want to drag her down with him, to taint her with his darkness. He believed that he was beyond redemption, beyond saving, and he didn't want anyone else to suffer because of him.

But despite his efforts to drive her away, Lilith remained by his side. He didn't't understand her. Even now as she flew away angry, he knew she wasn't even that far, simply crying the pain away before she inevitably returned to him.

"This isn't exactly what I expected Lucifer..." A voice said behind him, a very familiar voice.

He turned to see the beautiful form of Gaia, standing even more beautifully than she had on earth.

"What... Are you doing here?"

Gaia approached him with a serene expression, her long flowing robes billowing gently around her. "I've been watching you, Lucifer," she said softly, her eyes filled with compassion. "I've seen the torment and self-hatred that consumes you, and it pains me to see you suffer like this."

Lucifer looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "What do you care?" he muttered bitterly. "I'm just a fallen angel, a failure in the eyes of the gods. I don't need your misplaced pity."

Gaia placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch at the touch. "You are not a failure, Lucifer," she said firmly. "You are a being of immense power and potential. Yes, you made mistakes, but you are not defined by your past. You have the ability to change, to grow, and to find redemption."

He scoffed, the bitterness in his voice evident. "That shit again? Face it Gaia, it was wrong, you were wrong. I am destined to destroy, to be a being of terror! There's no redemption for someone like me. I will cause much pain and chaos. I'm a monster."

Gaia watched Lucifer as he shook, his eyes locked onto her's.

Gaia's voice remained calm and steady. "You are not a monster, Lucifer. You are a complex being with both light and darkness within you. But you have a choice in how you use that power. You can continue down this path of self-destruction and hatred that was planted inside you by someone, or you can choose a different path."

He turned to her, his eyes filled with frustration and desperation. "And what path would that be? The gods despise me. The humans will fear me. There's nothing left for me here. I am a pariah, a social outcast. I am sin..."

Gaia's expression softened. "Perhaps it's time for you to leave First Heaven," she suggested gently. "There are countless realms and dimensions beyond this one. Maybe it's time for you to embark on a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. You have the power to shape your own destiny, to find a purpose that brings you peace and fulfillment."

Lucifer's eyes widened in surprise. "Leave First Heaven? But I'm bound to this place. I can't leave, then those gods will be right, they'll be plotting against me, they'll-"

"You have more freedom than you realize, Lucifer." Gaia interrupted Lucifier's desperate words before he got out of control. "The rules of the gods are not as rigid as they may seem. Your wings are not clipped, and you are not a prisoner here. You have the power to travel between realms and explore the vastness of the cosmos. It might be the path you need to find yourself again."

Lucifer mulled over her words, his mind a tempest of conflicting emotions. The idea of leaving First Heaven both terrified and intrigued him. He had spent eons in this realm, and the thought of venturing into the unknown was daunting. Yet, deep within him, a spark of curiosity ignited.

"But... what if I can't find redemption?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "What if I am truly beyond saving?"

Gaia's eyes sparkled with kindness, and she gave him a reassuring smile. "But what if you aren't?"

He looked at her, a mix of hope and uncertainty in his eyes. "And what if I fail along the way?" he asked.

Gaia's smile remained gentle. "Failure is a natural part of the journey, Lucifer. It's through failure that we learn and grow. Don't be afraid of stumbling; it's how you pick yourself up that matters. Remember, you have the power to choose, to make decisions that lead you toward a brighter future. You are alone in this realm in that, even I can not change my eventual fate that will soon come to pass..."

Despite her sad tone at the end of her words, Lucifer felt a glimmer of hope stirring within him. It was a fragile feeling, but it held a promise of something more. Maybe there was a chance for him to find peace, to let go.

"I don't know if I can change," he admitted, his voice tinged with vulnerability.

Gaia's hand tightened gently on his shoulder. "Change is not easy, Lucifer, but it is possible. You are not defined by your past actions. The darkness within you does not negate the light. Embrace your complexity and learn to find balance within yourself. You are capable of great things, but you must believe in yourself first."

Lucifer's inner turmoil raged on, but a small part of him was starting to listen to Gaia's words. The idea of leaving First Heaven was both daunting and liberating. It would be a journey of self-acceptance and exploration, and he couldn't deny that he was curious about what lay beyond the confines of his current existence.

"And what if I'm not welcomed in other realms?" he asked, his doubts resurfacing.

Gaia's smile remained unwavering. "You aren't even welcome here, has that ever stopped you? What were your words again? 'I do what I want.'"

For the first time in nearly a century, Lucifer felt a smile form on his face. "You're right," he finally said, looking at Gaia with a mix of gratitude and uncertainty. "I can't keep living like this. I need to find myself again, even if it means leaving this behind..."

Gaia nodded, her eyes filled with warmth. "It takes courage to embark on a journey of self-discovery, Lucifer, but I believe in you. Embrace the darkness and the light within you, and remember that you are not alone. Lilith will be there for you, and so will I, whenever you need guidance."

Lucifer nodded slowly. "Alright... I'll go. But I'll be back Gaia, and when I come back you will like the being I become..."

Lucifer flew into the sky, he had some unfinished business before he left.

"Lilith," He said, catching the goddess wiping her tears.

She jumped at his voice, cowering for a second before she felt his warm embrace. "Don't worry, I'm going, I just wanted to say goodbye..."

Just as quickly as he came, he was gone again, off to a different part of first heaven.

"Luci?" Lilith said, frozen in shock as he disappeared in the distance...

A few moments of flying had his halfway across first heaven, stopping by a small house and landing at the front door. The warmth of the area made him feel pleasant inside as he opened the door.

There was Hephaestus banging away at whatever project she was working on. It reminded him of their first time truly talking, when he'd sat and watched her work for hours before she realized he was there.

"Do you have something to say?" She spoke up, stopping her hammering as Lucifer smiled.

"I'm going, this is goodbye..."

Hephaestus sighed and turned around. "I see..." Was all she said before turning back around and continuing her work.

As Lucifer nodded, feeling a bit solemn about the whole ordeal as he went back inside.

"If you don't come back I'll hunt you down..." He heard Hephaestus say, causing a smile to breakout on his face as he burst up toward the sky.

And so began the story of the King of Sin.

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A/N: So Origins is now over and it will move onto his actual story. Yes this is a god of high school fic, and he will eventually reach the main timeline. But until then I will make this tale of Lucifer as best as I can. Thank you for reading up to this point, and consider subbing to the patreon for more chapters. Sage out.

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