1 New Beginnings
In his first life, he was a King.
In his second life, he was an Immortal cultivator.
In his third life, he had ascended to Godhood.
And yet… here he was again, at the start of his fourth life.
In the vast expanse of the Alphari Desert, a young lad sighed and grumbled to no-one in particular.
"Sigh… just my luck, eh? Why did I even die in my last life? Who would've thought I would become a god in a world where gods could die." (???)
In his first life, he had been murdered by his Queen.
In his second life, he had been murdered by his best friend because he managed to win over their shared love interest.
In his third life… well, let's not talk about that for now.
What? You really want to know? Jeez, way to kick someone when they're down, huh?
In his third life, he died… of malnutrition.
That's right, malnutrition. Malnutrition! Because funny things must be said three times.
You see, in his third world, gods required a special type of energy, which was only available in the gods' plane.
However, the idiot over here managed to neglect that, and sleep for over 2 years.
He didn't even know he died! If anyone actually found his body, it would be more dried up than a mummy from 20,000 years ago. Not that there is a mummy from 20,000 years ago.
In his first life, there was no system or status page, despite being a fantasy world. Everything was measured qualitatively, or through real combat. Don't even ask how he became a King.
In his second life, … there's really no need for me to explain, is there? It was a standard cultivation world.
In his third life, there was no power system. He became a god, and that was it. Then, he died. So much for being a god, right?
Oh, when I say first life, I mean his first life after dying on Earth. But his life on Earth was so dismal that not even sleeping to death would be funny. Let's not go into that, alright?
Anyway, back to his current situation. This is where most people would expect a description of his appearance, or his current mentality, right?
Well, here goes.
You want to know what he looks like? A loser! A total loser!
Seriously, he died as a god! How much worse can that get? And it wasn't even in battle, or from betrayal!
Sigh… in all seriousness, though, if there was a woman whose beauty could topple kingdoms, then the young lad could destroy worlds.
That's right, a single look at his face would cause planets to implode! That's how ugly he was.
Now, you may be thinking why the world he's on is still alright. Obviously, because I was joking!
I mean, not even a mirror cracks because of ugliness, so how could planets?
Ah, look! The boy took out a mirror from god knows where. Actually, since he was a god, then he actually does know? Hm… this is really too confusing.
"Ha! Would you look at that! Red hair, blue eyes, a streamlined face, and aggressive eyebrows! If I'm not handsome, then I don't know who is!" (???)
It looks like the boy took it upon himself to explain his appearance. Oh well, at least it saves me the effort.
Actually, why is he speaking out loud? Is he crazy or something?
"HAHAHAHAHA! Now all I need is a system, and I can rule the world!" (???)
Why are you so excited about something like that? Isn't that exactly what you did in the past three lives anyway?
This kid… anyway, seems like he's requesting my presence. Guess I'll see you guys around sometime?
Seriously... why do I have to be the system of this madman?
Oops, I can't keep the lad waiting for too long. Goodbye for now!
---
[3rd Person POV]
"HAHAHAHAHA! Now all I need is a system, and I can rule the world!" (???)
"…"
All that answered him was silence. Weeping the majority of the water in his body, he slowly sat down and contemplated his lives.
He had managed to acquire many techniques to get stronger.
As a King, he collected many techniques which he would never be able to use as a cultivator.
As a cultivator, he collected many techniques that required no cultivation to use.
As a god, … he didn't acquire anything.
Shaking his head to clear his last thought, he suddenly heard a voice.
"Greetings, Host!" (???)
"UWAAH! Where did you come from?!" (A different ???)
"Fufufu, behold! My true form!" (???)
"AAAAAAAAAaaah… aaah… ah… wait, why is nothing happening?" (A different ???)
"*facepalm* You really are an idiot, aren't you?" (???)
"Ha! Idiot's my last name! How did you know?" (??? Idiot)
"…" (???)
"Huh? You didn't answer me…" (??? Idiot)
"Alright, Idiot. I'm that system that you so wish for. The name's Di – *ahem*I don't have a name." (???)
"Huh? Then I'll name you Di!" (??? Idiot)
"Can you be any dumber?" (Di)
"My middle name is Dumb!" (??? Dumb Idiot)
"Then what's your first name?" (Di)
"Bloody!" (Bloody Dumb Idiot)
"…" (Di)
"… not going to respond?" (Bloody Dumb Idiot)
"…" (Di)
"…" (Bloody Dumb Idiot)
"Fuuuuu… huh? I'm not dead?" (Bloody Dumb Idiot)
"W-who are you?" (Di)
"Huh? Who are you?" (Bloody Dumb Idiot)
"I'm your system…" (Di)
"System? Ah, do I get a system for my third life?" (Bloody Dumb Idiot)
"Third life? This is your fourth! How stupid can you be?" (Di)
"Huh? But I clearly remember that my best friend just killed me… I thought that would actually be the end…" (Bloody Dumb Idiot)
"S-so… are you saying you have no recollection of your third life at all?" (Di)
"Like I said, this is my third life, right? Unless… no way… damn it!" (Bloody Dumb Idiot)
"What's wrong?" (Di)
"That Bloody Dumb Idiot! He did something again, didn't he?" (???)
"Aren't you Bloody Dumb Idiot?" (Di)
"No! He's… my dog." (???)
"Your dog??" (Di)
"Yeah, from Earth. Somehow his soul crossed over as well…" (???)
"How come I'm not aware of him?" (Di)
"You said you're a system, right? Who willingly reveals their mistakes?" (???)
"… Well said." (Di)
"Anyway, I'm Ned; surname Kelly." (Ned Kelly)
"Ned Kelly? You mean that Australian outlaw who wears a metal bucket on his head?" (Di)
"Yeah, him! You know him? Ah, sorry. That was my undercover name in my first life. My name is actually Diego Maradona." (Diego Maradona)
"Hm… I guess that would explain the 'Hand of God'?" (Di)
"What hand of what god? Oops! That was my undercover name in my second life." (???)
"Huh. What's next, you were named after a bat at one point?" (Di)
"…" (???)
"You've got to be kidding me…" (Di)
"Ahahaha… I was really struggling for names at that point… anyway, my real name is Daniel. Nice to meet you." (Daniel)
"N-nice to meet you. I was named as Di by Bloody Dumb Idiot." (Di)
"Hmm… that name's not going to work. I'll call you Ed instead." (Daniel)
"Phew. At least it's better than Di." (Ed)
"Why did he name you Di anyway?" (Daniel)
"… I made a joke about being Dio." (Ed)
"Pfft! I guess that'll do it! Anyway, where are we?" (Daniel)
"In the middle of the Alphari Desert, thousands of kilometres from civilization." (Ed)
"And why are we here?" (Daniel)
"Good question…!" (Ed)
