1 The Journey Through My Galaxy: The Memoir of the Awkward Black Girl

The Journey Through My Galaxy: The Memoir of the Awkward Black Girl

Chapter 1, Book 1

*Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION. No names, events, or persons are meant to be taken seriously.

I've never been the type that's "out there." I've always been the one who was in their own world. I'm always the one who would rather watch an anime than going to a kickback. The one who preferred K-pop over trap. (Do not get me wrong though, I absolutely LOVE Tupac, T.I, and Megan Thee Stallion). It came as no surprise when I started to feel alienated once I went to high school. Once again, another majority black school. I love my people, however, when anything is different from the norm; it's called "acting white". Something I never understood. How can me wanting a better education, and liking a variety of music be seen as acting white?

It was always the same thing. I was either too black for the white kids, or too "white" for the black kids. Which did not make sense, because I had no ounce of whiteness in me. I was completely black. Half African American and half... well, African American. I was always teased for not having the straight, silky permed hair. Perms NEVER took well to my hair. As I got older, I got teased for not wearing weave. I had all natural, coily, 4c hair that was always in either space buns or a puff. The fact that I was skinny and had no ounce of an ass did not help either. Hell, even my freckles and glasses became a target at times. Whatever they could think of, it became the butt of all jokes. Let's also take into account the way that I dress. I don't necessarily dress like most of the girls at my school. I absolutely HATE tight, skinny jeans. I preferred cargo pants, sweats, and baggy jeans. I loathed dresses and heels. I'll rather wear the classic air force ones and Jordans.

It is not like I didn't try to fit in. I once threw away my glasses, straightened my hair, and even wore makeup. I tried to wear skinny jeans with a crop top. That only resulted in my grandmother coming to the school and acting like a mad woman. I just realized that I'll be better off getting teased for being me instead of getting teased for not being my full authentic self. Even f it hurts my pride and my heart, at least I know that I have been Ry'nn one hundred percent of the time. So now, as an eleventh grader, I'm learning how to become ME.

Not everything is horrible though. I have two AMAZING friends, Jhene and Yoshon. Jhene, my very beautiful and talented best friend since elementary. I promise, if there was a way to reincarnate now, I would want to come back as her. Her dark skin is IMMACULATE. It's like dark roasted coffee that makes you feel warm on a winter day. Her body? It's something that most people dream of. She has a perfect coke bottle shape, Jhene is just perfection personified. She is also the best friend anyone can ask for. She is ALWAYS speaking positive affirmations to me to boost my confidence and self-esteem. Not only does she says them to me, she makes me repeat them DAILY. From the moment I wake up, to right before I go to bed. Does it work? Hell no. Would I ever tell her that? Of course not. I want her to think that she is helping me, since I legitimately think it helps her feel better. I love her though, she is the only person besides Yoshon who doesn't judge me about everything I do.

Yoshon? That's my ride or die. He is always ready to do anything out of the ordinary. Despite his tough and hard exterior, he is a huge baby. He literally acts like a child when things do not go his way. I remember when he threw a temper tantrum when McDonald's ran out of chicken nuggets, cried and everything. Despite that, he is tough, and I mean REALLY tough. Growing up on the southside makes you like that honestly. I recently recruited him to be an ARMY. I let him listen to UGH! by BTS, and he was so hyped. He will not admit it though, to keep his "street cred" alive. "Who is going to buy weed from someone bumping K-pop?" He always says this when I ask why he only listens to them with me. Either way, I am just happy that I have someone who listens to them with me without looking at me funny. It is hard being a Hufflepuff in a word full of Slytherians. I cannot wait to take him with me to a concert. I am going to buy him an army bomb and a Jimin poster. (His bias, even though he does not want to admit it. It is fine though, everyone knows that Jimin steals men, women, and pets. If I had a boyfriend, he would most definitely steal me away from him. I mean, come on, its PARK JIMIN).

Despite everything that has happened so far, I kinda, sorta love my life. I live with my grandmother, who despite being 60 years old, curses like a sailor; and my loving, and kind grandfather. I have two bitchy cats, Lisa and Soobin. (Don't judge me, please). I live in a loving home. That's all a person can really ask for. Of course, shit gets rough. It's life. I get picked on occasionally. I sometimes (all of the times) make a fool of myself. I'm awkward, an outcast depending on who you are asking. So, the purpose of this story? It's to give a full in depth view of my life as the "awkward black girl". It is to show you how to love yourself in a world that does not love you. It is The Journey Through My Galaxy: The Memoir of the Awkward Black Girl.