12 Chapter 12

When Sneha entered the bedroom, she found Rohan still awake. He was wearing the same white kurta pyjamas he wore the day before. 'Perhaps he has a lot of them,' she mused. She hadn't checked his wardrobe since she'd arrived in City M because she was scared it might be an infringement of his privacy and he might not like the idea. She had been meaning to ask him for a long time whether it was okay for her to touch and arrange his clothes but the way things were going, she just kept it to herself.

Rohan pretended to read the National Geographic magazine which he had been so interestingly devouring for the past three or four days now. He wasn't actually reading anything at all and was just trying to steal a look at Sneha who routinely went to the dressing table to take off all her jewellery before sleeping. He watched her take off her earrings, her neck chain, her bangles and her rings and then watched her try to take off her anklet, which was stuck to her nightgown. Her peach coloured nightgown added a glow to her smooth fair complexion. The anklet was creating a lot of fuss and Sneha seemed agitated.

It was impossible for Rohan not to gaze at her beautifully shaped legs and those lovely feet.

'Why did I wear an anklet today of all days? This one is not well made.' While she was battling with it, she glanced at Rohan and was surprised to see he was watching her intently.

Rohan felt like he was caught stealing and blushed deeply. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and immediately turned his eyes back to the magazine.

Sneha, on the other hand saw him blushing and couldn't help grinning, she even giggled silently. With a little more effort she unlocked the anklet and put it on the dressing table. She began to apply some night moisturizer on her face, hands and feet and again found Rohan sneaking peeks at her.

Rohan was only trying to steal a glance here and there and unfortunately for him, she always caught him in the act!

She finished and went to the bed. For a while she even read the novel she started a long time back.

More than thirty minutes passed and she was so engrossed in reading that she didn't realize that Rohan was starting to become interested in her.

During all this time he was finding it hard not to touch, or gaze at her. He willed her to look at him! "She is so stupid! She should be aware of her surroundings!"

Eventually he got so irritated by his attraction for her and her complete ignorance for his feelings that he could no longer take it! Angrily he took his pillow and went to the couch in the drawing room to sleep instead.

Sneha was again taken aback by this sudden outburst of anger in Rohan. This was their normal routine so what had happened today that was different? Why did Rohan leave so suddenly to sleep in another room?

Rohan went to the couch and found that the rose perfume Sneha was wearing lingered there. It was irresistible and he wanted to hold Sneha tightly in his arms. So what was preventing him to reach out to her? He was a prisoner of his dilemma and complicated emotions. He held onto the cushion tightly instead!

In the meantime, Sneha built up her courage and went to Rohan to ask him whether he was okay. She even thought she might have upset Rohan by looking at him and catching him while he was stealing glances at her. She was feeling bad so went to apologize to him. "I'm sorry Rohan. I don't know what I have done, but you can go back to bed and… I'll sleep here if you like..." She knelt on the floor next to the couch.

Rohan was already battling with his emotions. On an impulse he got up and grabbed Sneha tightly by her shoulders. His grip was so tight that he was hurting her yet all he wanted to do was rip off her nightgown.

She winced and cried out, "You're hurting me. What's wrong? Leave me!"

His fingers dug deep into her flesh. She wanted to get free from his grip but was unable. The tension between them was so high that neither one of them could focus on what was really happening.

A few minutes later when better sense prevailed, Rohan let go of Sneha and let her be. Sneha began to sob uncontrollably, 'What have I done to deserve this?' she asked herself.

"I'm sorry," Rohan said and left to go to their bed.

Upon lying down he realized sleep was going to be a long time coming, he was in emotional turmoil. While he was finding himself getting seriously attracted to Sneha, it was difficult not to think of Stella. The incident a few minutes earlier was so impulsive he couldn't believe he could have ever physically hurt anyone. The strange part was that he wasn't ashamed of his act. He wanted to hurt Sneha for not understanding him, for attracting him to her and for mentally challenging his emotions.

He never felt the same with Stella. Stella was always vying for his attention and never felt the need to force his attention, and in fact he never wanted to force his presence on her. He never asked for attention from her but why did he want Sneha's attention? The questions confused him and he was not able to find all the right answers - his confusion started to overwhelm him. In his state of confusion he eventually fell into a troubled sleep. He dreamt of chasing a shadow all night. He was chasing it on the streets, in sky and even on the seas but was unable to catch the elusive shadow.