3 CHAPTER 3: The Answers

[Sasha Shadows]

With the idea kept in mind, I left the table and headed to my bedroom with the hope that the notebook was still lying inside my drawer, waiting for me to unleash it once again.

It's been weeks since I kept it away to remind myself that these wishes will never, ever come true. Not only that, the title 'IMPOSSIBLE LIST' written in block letters with my messy handwriting also did a great job in persisting my current belief.

By then, all I needed to do was to copy the whole list onto the answer bar and share it to me, myself and I. Easy as ABC.

I clicked my finger at my own genius thoughts.

Speaking of 'genius', I couldn't help wondering about Clerence's job application status. And yes, he was that boy who asked to see the manager this afternoon.

"Oh great Jesus!!" With these thoughts running through my mind, they turned into some sort of a distraction which led me to the biggest and stupidest mistake I made in my whole life - sharing the answers without resetting the privacy to "Only Me". Moreover, the answers could be browsed by users worldwide.

Luckily, the privacy was editable even though the posts were uploaded. So it took me another 2 minutes and a half (there was only 3G Internet flowing around here) to turn it into a private post.

Phew, what a day. The spinning circle that symbolised 'loading' will drive me crazy when the time has come.

After shutting down, I kept the computer in my school bag before going to clean myself. I had yet to take my second bath for the day and I felt less hygienic for not doing so.

I need to shower now!

***

Clerence Cartwright

Holding my mobile phone in one hand, the answers presented in front of my eyes surprised me. There were ten of them which somehow suited the one and only question chosen by the individual - If I were invisible for a day, I would...

A number of you must be curious about what made me so surprised. Let me tell you: it was because my name was written among the answers. Sure enough, the person who answered this should be my secret admirer.

My thumb pressed onto the comment bar as I had an opinion stored in mind: You spelled my name wrongly, dude. It's Cle-, not Cla-.

But it took 5 minutes until a bar tattooed "unable to load contents" came into view. "Damn, she edited the privacy!"

Nevertheless, my eyes had registered all the ten answers she wrote. So, I quickly exited Facebook to jot down these wishes in my Notepad. I wasn't sure why I would do this as even I was astonished by my own behaviour. Maybe it's because of the voice saying "these are her wishes" that made me feel so excited. As I had done doing so, I won't forget to save them.

But suddenly, another assumption hit me: what if the "Clarence" she mentioned in the list was someone else instead of me?

No worries.

Being a hacker by night, this account became my prey for the day. Therefore, I took out my laptop before losing the temptation. The profile name did not really sound like a real person. However, I recognised the profile picture as it showed a male anime character from Tokyo Ghoul (I'm an anime trash as well). "Huh, she likes Kaneki," I muttered to myself.

Unlike me, I barely liked anyone in this anime as its genre was extremely psychological and one thing to be precise, it contained angst. And I hated angst.

A city full of ghouls and CCGs presented through anime was considered as an imaginary place for me. If my imaginary place contained hate and negativity, I wouldn't know the perfect place for me to escape from real life ever again if I was either the author or the audience.

Back to hacking.

After setting everything up, I pressed on the "Enter" button and a loading bar appeared. Not only that, the dark screen was then covered with green, red and white moving codes. This signified the act would either be successful or not after the colours filled the whole loading bar. I watched as the colour increased bit by bit in a slow manner.

Groaning in frustration, I leaned onto the soft couch and closed my eyes. This somehow calmed my nerves down every time when I felt anxious and frustrated. "Everything will be alright. This will be a successful profile hacking." I couldn't stop repeating this to myself over and over again.

As soon as I reopened my eyes, a large word marking 'FAILURE' was my answer for the night.

"Calm down, Clerence, calm down…" I began to heave in and out several times when my annoying roommate managed to add oil to the fire out of nowhere.

"You're too amateur to be a hacker, dude. Why don't you try to hack the girls' heart in real life instead of doing this shit in front of a lifeless computer?" Such a crappy suggestion.

"Oh shut the fuck up, Williams," I protested with a sigh of surrender while rolling my eyes in annoyance. Letting out a cackle upon my reaction, he approached me with his muscular, half naked yet partially dry body until he was standing beside the couch.

Dominic Williams. One of the listed hot boys alongside me by the ladies from Dance Club. Brown curly hair with those piercing blue eyes pasted on his handsome face. Two-typed player. 1. With his tall, muscular appearance, plus having beautiful abs and v-line, he often played with the girls' hearts as if he was the one who pulled the puppet strings. 2. He was a basketball player with incredibly terrible skills, yet he was still adored by most girls because of his looks.

Disgusting pieces of poops.

That's why I will not give a fucking damn on those bitches. One word can describe them – ludicrous - as I'd seen them bullying a girl in the canteen and they were fucking proud of their juvenile behaviours.

A flower on the outside, but a piece of smelly trash on the inside. What a shame!

"I can tell how much you despise them since the first day," Dominic tutted while taking a seat beside me, his towelled butt will dampen the cushion and make it smell one day. "What I mean was you can break their hearts as a way to teach them a lesson."

"I'm not like you, Dominic," I admitted with my forehead braced with my pyramided fingers.

"It's late, bro. I suggest we go get some sleep." Changing the topic since he knew I won't keep on talking about that, he sent a small pat on my shoulder before leaving me. The watermark staining the sofa made me frown. "Stop being so hot-tempered, maybe this is one of the reasons why you'd lost so many fans." Dominic added before I could ever get up and send a flying kick on his ding-dongs.

That's my fucking nature and I didn't think I can change it. "Like I care."

Sighing in defeat, I switched off my laptop and the thought of meeting the bookstore manager tomorrow drove out my whine. The thought of talking to a strict woman in a small meeting room made me worry. I couldn't help wishing that the interview would go smoothly.

But then, the memory of that counter girl I met today lightened up my mood without any reason. It's been a long time since I was amazed by a girl.

A part of me wished to see her tomorrow. And maybe, that was why I felt so nervous as well.

_____

It was Saturday.

A day which I could sleep for the whole day in my comfortable bed. Well, not exactly, as it wasn't the bed from my real house. But wait a freaking minute-

I have an interview today.

With the manager.

In the bookstore.

Where the girl currently works in.

These keywords shown in my thoughts were the ones sitting me upright. As I registered the time on my alarm clock that hadn't rung for the day yet, it showed 5.30 a.m.

Life is hard, I know.

With the ceiling fan still spinning, the cool air continued to fill the room and freshened the atmosphere, leading me back to my warm nest. Not long after, I dozed off again.

_____

Not knowing how long I'd been in my dreams, though I'm not really dreaming throughout the process, the sensation of being suffocated to death woke me up. My chest hurt and I couldn't breathe. Besides that, I couldn't move my arms until I recognised the person sleeping behind, who was cuddling me in his lap as if I was his bolster.

Life is indeed hard, I know.

I couldn't stop my eye-rolling upon the fact that I was cuddled. In fact, I was cuddled by a guy!

His warm breath landed by the side of my neck which in turn sent shivers down my shoulders. His loud snore was a good alarm clock, but not in this way! Then, I could see the time presented by the device on my bedside table.

Sorry Williams, I have to wake up now.

But as I tried to pry away from his arms, he only tightened them up around me. "Williams, I'm not your girlfriend. Stop messing around…" I whisper-shouted with my dry throat while repeating the action by force this time. The said boy was still having his eyes closed while his hands cuddled thin air on my bed.

"Don't leave me, Suzy..." Dominic muttered through his sleep as a bead of tear flowed down his cheek. Suzy was his girlfriend which he treated her seriously before she dumped him.

Aside from other people, he only let me know his true colour as if I was the best person who could keep his secrets. But now, I wasn't going to keep it a secret anymore since it would be revealed by me to you through this narration of myself.

The bad boy aura was his mask to conceal his regretful past. In order to not show his vulnerable side outwards, he preferred to become the villain instead.

"She doesn't deserve your tears buddy..." I whispered while bending down to wipe his tear away with my knuckle. Then, I left the room with a worried frown, hoping that he would be fine after waking up.