19 CHAPTER 19: Before the Lost of Hope

[Xxxxx Shadows]

I'd stopped crying, I'd stopped whimpering. Taking off my hands from my face, where I couldn't even feel the heat of tears at all, I led out a helpless laugh. The door behind me seemed to open but I didn't care. Instead, I looked skyward at the ceiling and kept laughing with more tears brimming on my cheeks. Apparently, I couldn't face this alone. I had had enough.

That was too much.

"Xxxxx?" I heard a hum which was supposed to be… my name? "Xxxxx, is that you?" This sounded like him. Following the voice source, I turned.

"Cle-" And there he was, squatting right in front of me before pulling my frail soul into his warm lap. "What are you doing here?" I whispered as he shushed me softly. His hand caressed my hair at the same time. We remained in this position for about one minute or a little more, until the boy let go.

His light green eyes stared longingly at mine before he blinked and turned to his pocket. "I have something to show you," he muttered while his phone was visible in his large palm. "Is this your bucket list?" The bluish phone screen almost blew my calmness away when I took in every single word written on it.

Those were my IMPOSSIBLE wishes.

"How did you know that they are mine?" I asked with my hoarse voice, surprised.

Clerence shook his head. "I just… know. I mean you've been really obvious since high school, so that drags the answer towards you, I guess?" Clerence said as he scratched the back of his neck, stuttering with his own assumption.

"So you did notice?" I asked, feeling a little overwhelmed yet happy. "But you chose to not do anything?"

"Because I didn't know you."

***

[Clerence Cartwright]

I felt light as a feather, dizzy but bearable. My vision adjusted and slowly, I could see a path guiding me forward. Nonetheless, echoes of sobs in despair and hopelessness gained my curiosity towards a higher level.

I followed the voice source and a lit house was clear under my vision. The door was not locked as I could push it aside easily. There's a little girl sitting on the couch in the living room, sobbing silently. However, that voice which had ushered me a while ago did not belong to this girl.

In fact, it was coming from the bedroom. Swallowing hard, I pushed the room door with the knuckle of my index finger and her crouched figure revealed in front, her arms caged her face as she cried.

My heart hurt to see her in such a vulnerable state. Moreover, it hurt even more when I couldn't control my mouth from spitting those words.

Because I didn't know you.

I was supposed to be there and help her out to give her the emotional support, but not hurt her. "You're right," she chuckled pathetically as she wiped her tears which disappeared once they landed on the floor. "I was just a random girl who had a crush on you," she sniffled before continuing. "I shouldn't be selfish..." And she trailed off with more beads of tears flowing down her eye sockets like waterfalls.

"You're not," I said, surprised by my steady voice in a meantime. "Or you won't be handling things alone here." My loose fingers were still clamping on my phone, which the screen had blackened again. "I suppose these wishes belong to you?" Again, I showed her the bucket list to give her the reminder.

The girl looked a little reluctant as I could see her chewing on her lower lip, considering whether or not she should reveal the truth to me. "Yes," she finally answered. "Those are my wishes."

Then, she spent the rest of the night telling me about her wish granting journey. How she had followed me to the fun fair, how she had tripped Kayla and how she gave her a lesson in that mean girl's dreams. Although I knew she'd been hiding a small part of the journey she'd been through, I preferred not to ask since she refused to tell me.

The only thing that mattered was the wishes she granted would disappear from her list and never to be found again. Furthermore, a little of her memory had been taken away as the price for wandering around and granting wishes of her own like a normal person. So this explained why the list on my phone was incomplete by now until there were 5 wishes remaining, and also, this explained why she couldn't recall her own name no matter how loud I called her.

It was as if there was something blocking her brain from remembering the five letters. Those five important letters.

"I'm so happy to see you, Clerence," she admitted with a warm smile as she sniffled. Her fragile frame was still shaking, giving me the urge to protect her. "But how did you find me?"

I paused for a while when recalling the way I came here. What have I done to myself? "I-I prayed before sleep, maybe determination is the key for me to find you."

"I don't understand," she shook her head. "This is not the human realm, Clerence. It's somewhere near the dungeon." Her face showed how worried she was when she looked at me with an open mouth. As her eyes moved towards my bleeding left hand, that was how she found what's truly going on.

***

[Third Person POV]

"You cut yourself?!" The girl asked when she picked up the slit hand, where the wrist had been bleeding. "Why did you do this to yourself?" The boy said nothing but only looked at the ground.

But soon enough, he broke the dominating silence. "I'm done living under the shadow of my mistakes, Xxxxx," he answered with a nasal tone when he tried his very best not to cry. "I'd never been happy after you've… fallen asleep."

The eyes of the girl couldn't leave Clerence's as her brain digested every word he'd spoken earlier. "It's alright," she soothed, her hand finding its way toward his, reassuring him with her kind words. "You didn't mean to not save me. It was me being not careful when standing on a ladder."

Her heart beat, her body temperature. Those were the sensations that calm him like a soothing sea wave by the shore, forming splashes of appreciation and surprise that illustrated his face before his lips cracked into a smile. Notably, a soul with remaining body warmth could still return to the body, as the heart was still beating.

"Isabelle," she called and the little girl obeyed by standing by the opened door. "Here, you need this more than me." The little girl named Isabelle directed her vision at the cylindrical container clamped in the palm. Unsurprisingly, she hesitated.

"I'll keep her safe," said Clerence and eventually leading out a gasp from Isabelle. "I promise." His sudden promise gave her goosebumps until she gulped. The little girl walked forward and took the can away before stuffing it into her pouch.

But before leaving, Isabelle took down her bracelet crafted with a blue stone and handed it to the girl, who was leaning into Clerence's embrace. "In case you need help, summon me by pressing the stone." Nodding, Clerence reached for the bracelet before examining the tiny thing. It did shine like a blue little star as it found its way around the girl's wrist.

"Looks good on you," he commented with a faint smile as the girl smiled back. "Saxxx." Her eyes were round in surprise when she heard the first syllable of her name. "Now, shall we accomplish the sixth wish?"

Isabelle vanished in a ball of light without stopping midway to look at them. Soon, the two of them were the only souls left. Resting her head on Clerence's shoulder, she muttered, "Sure." Knowing that this girl was prepared to face the risks, Clerence led out a genuine smile.

"That's my girl."