11 ~ Chapter Ten - Season I ~

Princess Lorain was the princess of the Kingdom of Middle Earth.

She was my fiancée.

As we were not allowed to personally meet each other, we were permitted to send letters to one another to build some sort of connection. And in her letters, she seemed to be a gentle woman. And she would tell me all of her thoughts. She never held back anything from me.

We had become each other's support through the chaotic world of monarchy. Given that I had a difficult relationship with James, she had the same but with her mother. Princess Lorain and I became good friends over the past years that we communicated. She was always respectful of my space, as well with some matters that I decided to keep private.

With care, I opened her letter and it read,

"A good day to you, Your Highness!

"I trust that you are having a better month than I am. There was no sign of anything good or new with my life, much less with my relationship with my mother.

"She had put additional pressure on me to be the perfect wife for you. She forced me to learn certain 'skills' that she deemed necessary in a married life. She is, certainly, much more invested in our marriage than we are.

"How about you? Do tell me what you can as I find it interesting. It also helps me to understand you a lot more.

"I would love to write more but unfortunately, I have violin lessons after this. I will wait patiently for your reply.

"Your good friend,

"Princess Lorain."

My heart ached for her. With every stroke that she made on this letter, I could tell that she wanted to tell all of her grievances but she was out of time. I understood that part of her life because when our marriage was confirmed, they expected a lot more from us as future rulers. They made us do even more tasks, and some were outright baffling because it wasn't even connected to being married.

At this point, no one would want to hear what we had to say. Our only option was to do what they wanted for us to do. Our only source of comfort would be each other.

I grabbed a piece of paper, and pulled my quill closer.

I wrote,

"My lady,

"It seems that our month has been insufferable.

"Every day that passes by has become even more terrible than the other. I can only pray that this wouldn't kill me early during our reign together.

"Like you, my relationship with James is far from recovery. He did make an attempt today to connect with me. At least, that was what an 'attempt' meant for him. However, my heart didn't accept it because I didn't think he was making enough efforts to do something else.

"I pray that by the time you read this, you will have a better day. Respond to me when you have the time.

"Your good friend,

"Prince Robert."

I folded the letter and as I stamped my royal seal, I called for my page. He immediately rushed into the room. "Here's my response to Princess Lorain's letter. Have it sent out immediately," I said as I handed the silver platter with the letter already in it.

"Yes, Your Highness," he bowed as he received it, "I'll have the messenger send this out immediately." Without a moment to lose, he went on his way.

I sighed as I laid back on my chair. Looking at the pile of unfinished reports, I felt unenthusiastic to even touch them. I understood that it was a part of my royal duties, but to have tall stacks of reports on your desk - every single day - it wasn't a good view to look at.

Another knock came upon my door.

"Yes?" I answered.

The door opened and it was Gonzalo. He stood with a blank expression by the door as he held the basket Laura gave me.

"Your Highness," he bowed, "I hope you don't mind, but I checked the contents of this basket. And I saw that there was a pie in it. I'm afraid that it will rot right away. So, I thought you would like to finish it now," he continued.

"Oh, yes, of course," I said, clearing a spot right in front of me. Gonzalo walked towards me and took out the pie as soon as he reached me. Gently, he laid it in front of me. He then pulled a fork from inside his coat.

I gave him a strange look, incredibly perplexed as he handed the fork to me.

"I'm well-aware that having a spare fork inside my coat is odd, Your Highness," he remarked without hesitation.

"Yes, Gonzalo, it is a bit… surprising for you to pull out a fork," I laughed nervously.

"I also have a spare spoon and knife with me, Your Highness," he replied. He added, "Since I cater to your every need, I have to be prepared. And your utensils aren't to be spared from that."

I nodded with a smile. "I guess your method of preparation is indeed needed. Thank you."

He bowed and left.

I took one good look at the pie as I remembered who made it. I could clearly see her face in my eyes. I closed my eyes… and I immediately saw her face. The sun radiated behind her, giving the brown shade of her hair the chance to stand out. Those adorable freckles underneath her eyes, as well as on the bridge of her nose. And her smile, her smile is just pure sunshine itself. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and took a bite from the pie.

One bite.

One bite and all I could say, with full confidence, that this was an incredible pie. I kept digging into the pie without any plans on stopping. Grandpa Ben didn't lie when he warned me about the pie. Except for the pies that Mother and Nana would make for me, this was one of the best pies I had tasted.

Every bite I took, I remembered her. Knowing that she made this herself, with all her heart, every bite out of this pie was a moment I carefully revelled in.

After I finished the whole pie, I wanted more. Not of the pie but of her. I wanted to see her.

~*~*~*~

I made my way to the kitchen, with the stables as my endpoint. I was passing through the hallways when someone called out to me, "Robert?"

I stopped and turned around immediately. It was Nana Olsa. I walked back and met her halfway. "Hello, Nana," I greeted, taking her into my arms.

"What happened during lunch, son?" she asked as we pulled away.

"Nana, I don't want to have this discussion right now," I complained.

She gently held onto my arm. "Walk with me, son," she requested.

I let out a sigh and nodded in defeat. We then made our way to the garden.

~*~*~*~

"Son," she started as we entered the garden. "Your father is an affectionate man. Everything important to him, he holds them with great care. The only problem with him is he doesn't know how to express it. And because of that, he rarely shows any sort of emotion."

"How is that the case, Nana?" I asked.

"It's because of what happened to your grandparents. They loved each other with all of their hearts," Nana started the story. She continued, "However, your grandmother wasn't able to handle all of the pressure of being a monarch. Your grandfather was ready to sacrifice everything for her. But, she feared for her children."

My brows furrowed. "Elizabeth said the same thing about our parents," I replied.

She nodded. "When your grandmother left, your grandfather was left heartbroken. Because of what happened to them, your father closed his heart in order to protect himself. He didn't want to be hurt like your grandfather. He began to care less about you and your sister," she explained. "What happened to your grandparents repeated with your parents. But, your mother decided to stay to keep you and your sister safe. Your father regretted that he deprived you of love when you were a child. Which is why he's trying to connect with you now."

"Did he send you to talk to me, Nana? Can't he just approach me and explain everything by himself?" I asked.

"Young one," he stopped us in the middle of the garden. We faced each other and she continued, "How will he be able to explain everything when you treat him so coldly? He's already trying to make a connection with you but you won't accept it."

Couldn't James understand that I didn't feel his effort? I didn't even see him, trying to be a father to me. If he truly was trying to be a father to my sister and I, he should put effort into his actions. Trust wasn't something that was easy to build, most especially to rebuild. To try and repair a broken trust was similar to playing with a broken mirror: it was impossible.

"I'm not asking for you to consider it now, son. I understand where all your hurt is coming from," she smiled. "But, I want you to think about it."

Mother and Elizabeth already asked this favour from me. I just didn't understand why they kept on asking me to think about it. I sighed. "I will, Nana, for you."

"No, little one. Do it for your father, as well as for yourself," she said. "You two must reconnect. You don't know how much he wants you to see him as a father, not just in title."

I simply gave a nod. I didn't want to say anything else because if I opened my mouth, I would only disagree with her even more. After those two clashes with James, as well as being scolded by Mother and Elizabeth, I had enough for today.

"I have to go, Nana. I will see you when I return," I kissed her on her forehead.

"Where are you going?" she stopped me, holding onto my arm.

I thought for a moment as I must be cautious with what I was about to say. "Somewhere that's not within the castle grounds. You did say I should think about it so I'm going to go and have a change of scenery."

She cupped my face with her gentle hands. "Do be careful."

I nodded and proceeded to the stables.