3 The Force

Finally, it happened. I should be able to feel the Force and maybe even use it, now. In this new life, I don't have a family again. It has been a switch between having one and not having one. Considering what I wanted to do, I was not sad about not having one. When I was four years old, I went outside the small settlement to be alone in the wild. 

There still wasn't a big city, but the settlements were starting to get more advanced. Thinking about travelling through space is still a pipe dream for now and I assume that I am still long before 57'000 BBY, as that was the approximate time when it was invented—never mind that though. 

The planet I was located on then was a desert one. Trees were scarce and water in general was valuable and rare. It reminded me of Tatooine thousands of years later. I walked out and didn't bother taking anything with me. I walked and walked and walked. Until there was nothing to be seen anymore except some stone structures and caves. 

I looked around and when I didn't find anything, I began my meditation. Immediately, I could feel the difference. It was as if a door had been blocking me in my previous lives, which was now open. An entirely new world was opened for me. As soon as I entered the meditation, I was flooded with information and energy that was new to me. 

I could feel that I died at that moment because it was too much. Thanks to me being immortal, that wasn't the end. It was like waking up from a deep slumber. I looked around and noticed that everything was still the same. As long as I am not completely destroyed, I come back again. 

I return to the meditation. Quickly it becomes apparent why this is happening. I am not the first sentient or non-sentient creature that delves into the Force, but I am the first sentient creature that connects to the Force in this way. It is as if the Force is still untouched, unblemished and unused. It is still as it was at the beginning of time when life was created. 

So me meditating in this way and connecting to the Force is unprecedented and new, resulting in it almost rejecting the idea and pushing me out like this. But that's alright with me. I can tell that the Force is like a wild animal. Untamed and free. It is not sentient, but there is a form of will that the Force has. 

I understand this. And as soon as I reenter meditation, I reveal my emotions. Full disclosure. I hold nothing back. I show the Force that I am not here to subdue it in any way. I am not here to abuse it for my benefit and neither do I hold malicious intents. 

As soon as I do that, the 'attack' recedes and the Force seems to stop for a time. 

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I waited. That is all I was doing. I waited for the Force to open up to me. To tell me something ... anything. I wanted to get to know it. I didn't want to uncover its secrets as everyone has its secrets and no one likes it if someone else delves into those secrets without consent. 

I waited for two days ... and then, I died. I died of thirst. Yes, I still need food and water. But this is a desert planet and water is a luxury. Again, I wake up after dying. And what can I do? I enter meditation again. As soon as that happened, I waited again. 

Another two days passed and again I died of thirst. I came back and died again. This cycle repeated itself. Over and over again. I thought about using the energy I felt from the Force, that limitless energy, to feed myself in some way. But I didn't do that. I respected the Force. I really saw it as something that was alive. I didn't want to tame it, but I wanted to get to know it better. I was ready to listen to what it had to tell me. 

This process and cycle of dying of thirst and coming back went on and on for some time. A whole year passed this way. Imagine that. A four-year-old boy meditates for two days, dies of thirst and then repeats the cycle again. And that for an entire year. This means that I died approximately 183 times. 

After this initial year, there was another month of the same silence. But in the second month, something changed. I could feel that the Force was interested. Like a wild animal, seeing you every day and running away from you. But instead of running after it, you simply sit there and wait for it to come back. So the animal sees you each day.

In the beginning, it is wary of you. It flees or maybe even tries to attack you. Then after a few weeks, it grows calmer and simply ignores you. It goes along with its life and each day it does what it does, leaving you at the side. But as time passes, it starts to notice you again. 'He is still here?', 'What is he doing here?', 'What is he?', 'What does he want?', etc. 

And curiosity wins in the end. Slowly but surely. One step further, every day, it starts to approach you. It begins to feel your presence, breathe in your scent and observe you. Until the day arrives that you offer your hand to the animal. You stretch out your hand or give it something to eat. 

It will of course not accept that food at first. But little by little, it comes closer until you can touch it with your hand. 

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That moment arrived after another year. Finally, after meditating for over two years and dying close to 400 times, I made contact with the Force again. I introduced myself. I didn't have a name, so I simply transmitted my essence to it. My personal wave or aura, if you will. And the Force did the same. It was a very slow start. I simply listened to what it had to say. 

And let me tell you ... the Force has a lot to say. Like A LOT. It was as if the gates of heaven had been opened and now all the rain in existence fell on the lands. The Force began to talk and talk and tell stories about itself or what it had seen. It has been around since the beginning and therefore it has seen a lot. 

Months passed this way and one day when I was 6 years old, I was again close to dying of thirst, when something interesting happened. The Force channelled some of its energy into me. 

...

Yes, the Force itself didn't want to see me die again and channelled some of its energy into me to keep me alive. My hunger and thirst were quenched immediately. I felt bloated almost. After that happened, I transmitted my appreciation to the Force and it was as if the Force was ... happy about that. 

This was the first time this happened. The Force would constantly, whenever I needed it, channel some of its energy into me, take care of all my basic needs and keep me alive. As the years passed like this, with me listening and the Force 'feeding' me, there came a time, where it grew ... 'frustrated'. I could feel its frustration for some reason. 

At first, I was confused but then I came to realise that it was frustrating that it had to feed me and that I didn't take care of myself. I have to smile thinking about it now. It is almost funny or cute how it was worried about me. I could tell that it was interested in me as much as I was interested in it. My immortality seemed to interest it and we could somewhat bond over the fact that we saw many people get born and then die. 

So when it saw me not taking care of myself and that it had to do that all the time, it grew frustrated. In turn, I decided to take care of myself and try and use the connection to the Force to channel the energy into myself and feed my cells. I was careful at first because I wasn't sure whether my assumptions were correct. 

But after feeling the permission and approval, I continued to do that. 

I channelled the pure Force energy into my cells, whenever I needed to do that. One time, I remember channelling too much of the energy and normally when that happens, I would feel bloated. But instead of feeling bloated, the feeling of overeating slowly disappeared. I was unsure what that was and so, I delved deep into myself and began to feel my cells. 

I saw each of my cells and their activity. I wasn't sure what it was at first. And it took years of trial and error until I found out what was going on. I came to realise that my Midi-chlorians had begun to absorb the excess energy I absorbed from the Force. And due to that, they became more active. It was as if they were stimulated. 

What this meant, I would only understand in the next life. I didn't feel any negative effects, so I simply stopped worrying about it at the time. The Force didn't seem to care about it and there was almost something akin to ... mischief I could feel back then. But more on that later.

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In the first century, I only meditated and listened to the Force and its nigh limitless stories it had to tell. I enjoyed listening to the Force when it told me about a certain planet or the sentient races that were evolving slowly. The Force told me about planets, animals, life and death, space, where it came from and what might happen in the future. 

After two centuries, I felt as if a bond had been created between the Force itself and me. Don't ask me how that was supposed to work, but it did. The Force wasn't sentient, but there was still a will present. I could tell that the Force appreciated me, for who I was. I liked the fact that I didn't take something from it, or use it for my own benefits and wishes. We were ... friends, equals. Not in power, but still equals. 

In the third century of meditation, I felt that my body had changed. I no longer needed the energy of the Force to survive. I no longer needed food or water to survive. Granted, I was immortal, but up to that point, I still needed food and water to survive. But then ... I didn't need that anymore. 

I stopped channelling and absorbing the minuscule energy from the Force. But when I did that, I came to a breathtaking realisation. My cells, or rather my Midi-chlorians were absorbing the smallest amounts of Force energy by themselves. I didn't do anything, but they did that themselves. 

I told this to the Force and it didn't care. The amount was so small that it didn't even feel it. I accepted this as normal now and put it at the back of my mind. I stopped caring about things that weren't important. And I learnt to judge something as either important or not. 

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In the sixth century of meditation, the Force wanted to show me more about itself. It wanted to show me different aspects of itself and reveal some of its secrets to me. I understood what that meant. It wanted to show me the different sides, like dark, light and maybe even neutral or balanced. 

I was of course happy about that but also a bit nervous. And I wasn't the only one who was nervous. It got a bit intense then.