1 1.Shit hits the fan

So I might as well start at the beginning and work my way forward my name is Gauge Deleon . Age 24 fresh out the army considering my options for college. Did a five year stint straight out of high school only way to get out of that dead end town honestly. Now enough about me I know I'm sexy but on to the rest of the shit hole story . So there i am minding my own business at the comic shop standing around reading the back issues for free .....don't judge me I buy at least one before leaving...4 hours later. 😅 Ahem when this big booming voice opens up and says "You have failed so horribly . I give you Eden and you screw that up. I gave you the world i see it raped and pillaged. Fine I will reset this whole playing field and give you some new rules. You can learn the rest as you go but here is the first rule and a tip. Rule one survive , and your tip only weapons given give you experience." . At this point I think what every other individual might "Well fuck there goes my Saturday night".

There you are all caught up Ulysses I ain't. Now I look around to see everybody else curious and a little scared as well. Them not me scared that is, till I notice a wooden practice sword in my hands a saber . Let me stop this right here and say this i would have preferred a club swords take finesse and God ran out of that shit when I was made apparently I'm the typical nondancing white dude. It's me I own it. That's when a few people started screaming and writhing in pain. Shocked the shit out of me till I noticed they were all in the marvel section at that point I thanked God I was a DC fan. Now the fun didn't start until the Darwin award winners popped back up again like daisies(thank you mulan) and started treating there fellow man as Big Macs. At this point I realised where I stood in life i was A. A six piece mcnugget with a side of fries or B. About to monkey 🐵 stomp and go about my damn merry. All of those that said A i mildly dislike you right now. Now where I stand I have a table dividing me and them and a few other unfortunate Big Macs.....God there fast took one down to a quarter pounder already. Since everything in that side is dead or deader and on my side somebody squealed like a chick I shit you not i think chicks got bigger balls then him. They took notice of the squealer quick i upended the table since they were mostly down on the ground the boxes kept them down long enough for me to save a few of the still breathing with mad skills (or dumb luck). The one that noticed the squealer got his piggy it is at this point I noticed a basic mistake these are zombies what they eat become zombies and as I was distracted by dings like little bells going off in my ears one of the big macs grabbed my leg. It was noticed the comics that covered this dude was DC, and I was thankfully to DC again marvel would never have the page count to weigh down a zombie. A back hand swipe ..or two was all it took to finish off that one,and for good measure I caved in the other victims skulls as well. By the end of this every one else has already run off. I can't blame them then I hear the slurping behind me and remember the one that made his house from straw.

I can't make it back over the table before it would be on me I know this for a fact those things are quick if I didn't dump the table in those on the ground I would be screwed. So I bang my club of might aka the wooden saber and try to get its attention. I know if I'm awkward after getting across that table so will it ,so I have to bludgeon it to death in that small time frame. I'm a moment's inspiration as it jumps at me I guide it and add every ounce of umph i have behind its neck and direct it's landing face first on the floor where I hear it's neck break. I can't believe that worked I was so blown away till I realised it was still alive apparently you have to take the head for the zombie to die ....again. I said to the zombie " I promised a monkey stomp and your the prime recipient it seems also I have to see if you give xp without system wepons. " I raise my foot high and come down as hard as I can and squish. I once again hear the ring in my ear and words that were not there during battle said [1xp]. That answers my question so I go over the table take care of the last victim for another point xp. I look around and think this is going to be a whole new set of nightmares for me later. I grab the newest copy of superman and make sure to leave $10 on the counter. I'm not a thief I always buy one after reading for awhile,and make my way towards the door. At that time I hear this.

Ding {host has leveled up please open options and spend your free points and skill points}