10 Chapter 10: Paranoid

Playing in the background music now is Megadeth's Paranoid (Black Sabbath original). I love this song and it was one of the very first cover songs we did. It was an easy song with almost only 3 chords in it. It also best describes my personality before we headed back in Cavite. We came back here just to finish my mom's duties in Manila and to prepare our stuff for the coming year. Yes we stayed there only for a brief moment there because my mom is giving up everything for me. We are now moving south, back to mom's hometown in Bicol. This is what I have done.

I wanted to share this part of my life to Malcolm and everyone else but what's the point? It may be a bit fantastical for them to take it seriously anyway so I decided not to. We are having a great time here and my former classmates are really enjoying themselves. I did not talk too much and just listened to all the bull they are saying. The raffle draw is about to begin and I hope I win at least that 48 inch TV. Playing in the background now is Christmas in our Hearts. Yeah!

It was 2001 and moving to Bicol was very unexpected. But almost 8 yrs have passed since highschool and I'm still in 2nd year college. I should already have a degree by this time. And mom was exploding mad at me, yelling and cursing at me everyday. I deserved all of this. And just like before, it happened once again. Blah blah blah. Same situation, different personalities. Drugs are even rampant here, same cheap price like in Cavite, and it was the first time I went to jail because of shoplifting.

Before my mom went to the US for a quick job as a nanny, She already bought a new house for us and it is quite big. She loaned it and she is hoping that here we will stay and I will have my own family here as well. She loves us so much and what do I repay her, Heart aches after heart aches. My drug abuse just continued here and I was high almost on a daily basis. As usual, I stole money from her, lied about paying my tuition fees, and when she was abroad, I was caught and jailed for shoplifting some damn chocolates. I was just going to give that to this girl that I want to hit on. I have some drugs on my possesion that day but the guards on that grocery shop didn't search everything and thoroughly. It was hidden in my socks while I was wearing my school uniform. Lucky me.

Mom had enough of me. Her patience was already on maximum level and she couldn't hide her dissatisfactions from me. She don't trust me anymore and she don't believe anything I say and I have stolen almost every jewelry she had. And I am angry at her when she refuses to give me my allowances. I turned into a monster, a paranoid monster. The last straw that I believe happened was when she learned that I haven't paid a single cent on my tuition fee and all of the receipts I am giving her were all fake. She wanted me out of the house. And I did.