1 I Hate Forests

Hello!

My name is....

Totsy Koma!

Everyday I curse my parents who've given me a name like this.

It practically ruined my life.

Every time I've tried to flirt with a girl, The moment I tell them my name they laugh and make fun of me.

All I ever wanted was to get laid, Was that too much for me to ask for?

But it's not like everything is bad for me.

Since the only thing I've really struck gold with was my feminine appearance.

Not to brag but I might possibly be the cutest boy on the face of this planet.

Hell, All that bad luck is probably because I spent all mine on my majestic appearance.

Again, Not to brag but I am absurdly cute.

So cute in fact, That the driver in front of me was awed by my cuteness and forgot how to drive.

Causing his old Subaru to come straight into my direction.

I gave the man one last wink before he ran me over, Which made his heart stop completely before his vehicle ran me over and splattered my organs across the street and traumatising multiple children.

.

.

.

.

Surprisingly all I heard was a flash and yet here I am.

Standing in the middle of nowhere inside a forest that seemed a bit too green and vibrant....

Even more so than me...

This is quite unacceptable isn't it?

I'll burn this whole place down if I have to.

Nothing can be more gorgeous than myself and remain untouched by MY hands.

But, How do I even start with burning this seemingly thick forest down?

The trees are to moist and even the grass on the ground won't catch fire easily.

My best bet is finding a flammable liquid that I could spread all around.

But even then I need an absurd quantity of it.

Hmm.

Meh, I'll just think about it later.

How about I try finding a stable water source for now?

Since I need to piss and I can't do it on solid dirt that's unworthy of my bodily fluids.

And just then, My genius mind thought of something.

I closed my eyes and walked into a random direction, I felt like a stepped on a branch that could screech, But it might just be my imagination.

Getting tired after walking 30 steps I start opening my eyes, I'm met with a mediocre sight.

A river with clean sparkling water that I can piss in.

I walk over to it and without much thinking whip out my giant 12 Inch Excalibur.

Slowly readying myself to blast untill I am finally ready.

I release a large stream of yellow divine water at the river, completely annihilating it, sending shock waves throughout the forest.

Finishing my divine work, I smile smugly.

And just then, I hear the moans and sobs of some kid.

I walk towards the location that's making the annoying sobs and I find an equally annoying child crying his eyes out.

Tsk, Tsk.

Do you have no shame?

Crying out in the open and ruining others fun time.

I ought to teach him a lesson.

I slowly walk over to the boy.

And as soon as I'm in hugging distance, I hug the boy and try to comfort him.

As if.

I kick the boy in the stomach as hard as I can.

And before he has the chance to retaliate, I do it again and again.

Stepping on his skull and kicking his legs.

And untill finally, I put my feet on his balls.

I slowly crush them.

And once I hear that crunch, I let out a moan of ecstacy.

But it got boring as I realized the boy was unconscious.

But I noticed a shiny circle glowing in his tummy.

It's shiny.

I want it.

I need it.

I deserve it.

So I look for a sharp twig, But suddenly a knife falls into my hands.

Hmm.. Weird.

Well I guess I'm just lucky today.

I quickly look over to the shiny thing and put my knife in its location.

I cut out the chunk of meat that was covering it and take it out of this boys filthy body.

I took it out on my hands and inspected it.

It was a purple glowing ball with some weird gold runes on it.

I wonder how it tastes.....

(Why am I even writing this)