Shipment

Summers are supposed to be fun. Mine generally aren't. She died that week. Skidded on highway is what my dad told me. I knew he was speeding. At her funeral I tried to wear dark clothes, her clothes. But all I could find was a beige moth-eaten sweater.

I couldn't concentrate at school. Kept crying every time I saw them. That fake smile plastered on pretending they felt sorry for me when they couldn't care less. Cry-baby is what the kids at school, said, dim is what the teachers said, and depression is what the therapists said. They were all wrong. To be honest I couldn't care less about my mother or the lies my father told I was concerned about who was looking after me now. The day after my mother died my dad abandoned me, so he could "run off" with another woman.

"If you're going to mope at least do it I your bedroom," she said her voice all scratchy and dry from all the alcohol she a consumed, 'I can't believe your dad let you grow up to be such a cry-baby." Tall, thin and a complete bitch is what my current guardian was I like, my cousin. I tried so hard to make it work with her, but I couldn't do it. Couldn't keep pretending everything was all right. After a few months I waited patiently, waited till the hag was asleep. When she came in earlier that night, she was tired and drunk, with a boy hanging off her lips. Deep snores echoed through the empty halls as I crept out of bed. Carefully and as quiet as a mouse I slipped my key into the door and pushed it open. I stood in the middle of my road, brave and bold wearing my yellow jacket.

---

Faster, faster I told myself. I sprinted along the pavement while my shoes squelched with the evening rain. It pattered against my jacket and my face was all dewy. As I was walking I noticed a something watching me. A small girl. In a mustard cardigan. With inky black hair all braided into one neat plait. Her green eyes searched me looking for an answer. I didn't have it. Just then a maroon van came charging past, soaking me to my bones. And when I looked up that girl was gone.

As I came up to the Police Department my breath quickened and large puffs of icy air glided into my face. The Department was a grey looking building with a large oak tree at the right of the entrance. Dark green ferns curled themselves around the electric fence and the silent night suddenly seemed big, vast and eerie. Two steps I told myself, just two more steps.

Lights blinded me as the door flung open. For a second, I was too dazed too think but when my sense kicked in, I rushed to the open door. Adrenaline in my veins and a new hope in my heart. Free. So close to being free.

I didn't know at the time but the huge police officer who stood in front of me was a giant. But unlike some other giants, she was kind and friendly. Her kind eyes sparkled at me and she had a mouse-like nose that kept twitching in the cold, night air, "May I help you miss?" she said in a squeaky Londoner accent, "are you lost," she continued, "maybe got separated from your parents?" I shook my head. Questions pounded in my head. What should I tell her, that my father abandoned me, and my current caretaker is a drunk idiot who's not able to spell the word cat correctly, or that I'm lost, and my parents haven"t come back –which is true- and I need to be re-homed immediately? Although the second option seems much nicer, at the time I mustn't have been thinking straight because I said:

"Excuse me I here to report child abuse my cousin had been sent to look after me when my mother died, and my father abandoned me. Unfortunately, she is a little bitch and comes home every night drunk with a boy trailing after her. On top of that she locks me in my room when I cry and whips me with a ruler when I don't do things quick enough. So, if it would be O.K can I please speak to a foster home." I inhaled a deep breath and watched as the policewoman stared with worry filing her eyes, unsure of what to do next. Lines creased her forehead which I'm pretty sure weren't there before.

"Yes." she whispered. I could tell she was new to this perhaps only done this for a couple of months or so. "Come take a seat here I'll call someone to come help you meanwhile could I have your address, so I can speak to your cousin?" I nodded. I told her my address but warned her that my cousin would be either sleeping or sleeping with someone. When she left a shorter man with a fabulous moustache came in, he asked me a few questions about my cousin -Libby- like what had happened when I was with her and how long has this been going on for and why I didn't come to them sooner?

"She admitted to everything." a booming voice said behind me, "the whipping the hitting and locking the poor child in her room. Some other policemen are dealing with her but I think we should try and get this little lady a home for the night." she paused, "do you have any relatives you could possibly stay with?" I knew my answer before she had even asked the question. And it was... No. My grandparents had died a couple of years before I was born, and my aunty and uncle had divorced and gone their separate ways when my cousin moved out of the house. My father's side had an aunt, but she was super old and in a mental home, so you can't really count her.

I shook my head. "No," I whispered, "they're all either dead or completely crazy, I have no where left to go." Tears flooded my eyes and started streaming down my face the giant told me not to panic and that she would find a home for me somewhere. She then stood up and walked over to the phone "hello? Is this social services," she smiled at me, "yes, yes 15 year old girl. She is fit and healthy but has received some injuries from her past carer. Yes, absolutely, mmm hmm, yes... no, I don't think so." she paused and looked me in the eye, "there's a home in London, that would be delighted to have you. It might be a bit of a trek but don't worry because they'll come up here to get you." She took a deep breath, "is that something you would be interested in?"

I stared at her with disbelief. She smiled at me as tears flooded down my face. She gave me as a hug as I nodded mumbling "yes please" and sobbing. I was so happy, and this moment reminded me of something my mum said before she was gone... see mum I can find happiness, just you wait.