7 chapter 6

"Zane?" I knocked on his door,

"What, Nova?" I heard him call through his bedroom door.

"I'm taking shower, but I don't know where the towels are." I heard him in the low creek of his bed, and his heavy foot on the hardwood floor.

"I'll get it for you." He said,

"I'll come with you." Zane nodded, he wasn't a big talker is he?

We went to the room all the way down the hallway from my room, past the stairs, the stairs had a wooden hand railing around it, he opened the large door to a very big bathroom.

White tiles seemingly cover every inch of the bathroom, the big counter had a lot of space but nothing on it besides 2 toothbrushes, a half used tube of toothpaste, men deodorant, and some hair gel. The sink was like a large white bowel, and the farcut was black, there was a small plant on the other side of the sink. One the right of the bathroom, there were dark brown cabinets where Zane was getting a towel for me, and shampoo?

"What have you got there?" I asked him, walking up to me, putting my head on the cabinet.

"My dad got some girly shampoo and conditioner for you." That was pretty nice of Simon.

"That's nice of your dad." I said to him.

"I can't find the stupid conditnor,"

"I'll take that shampoo." I said, he gave it to me. I looked at the label, it was Pantene. I placed it on the counter and I heard another counter shut.

"Here it is, and some dove body wash or some shit." I let out a little giggle, and grabbed it from him.

"Thank you, Zane."

"Of course, Nov." He paused, he was about all the way out the door, he stopped and turned around. "But can this be a quick shower, because I'd like to take one tonight." I looked at the conditioner and it was coconut milk and avocado, this was my favorite conditioner.

"I can try but no promises." I said slamming the door in his face, I turned around and put my back on the bathroom door.

Zane is not the most horrible person to be around, his friends are not as horrible as I thought they were gonna be.

I looked at myself in the mirror, I untied the flannel around my waist, and took off my crop top and shorts and looked at myself in the mirror, wearing nothing but my black bra and my black underwear with lace on the part that goes around my tummy.

I slide open the glass door of the shower, and that's when I realize that the noobs are on the back wall of the shower were the rain shower head, I walked back out and take of my remainder of my clothes, and then I remember to get my shampoo, conditioner, body wash, I get in the shower and put them all in this makeshift shelf but it was still the wall, this is fucking awesome.

I then turned on the left handle and the showerhead was in the middle so the freezing cold water hit me, I yelped from the cold and quickly went to the right handle and turned it on, and then water slowly started to turn warm, and then it got hot but a comfortable hot.

"Are you okay?" I heard Zane's voice from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, I just turned on freezing cold water instead of hot."

"Yeah, I did that my first time in that shower too." He laughed.

I breathed out, and grabbed my shampoo and started to massage it into my scalp.

I looked down at the tattoo's I had marking my body, I had one in between my boobs, it was a pair of angel wings, they were opened, it was the newest one, I got 2 months before. I had one on my wrist, it was my right inner wrist and it was an open star, it was more basic on my name than anything, the one on my neck was a sun and a crescent moon for Elidi and Lucine.

I had one right before my stomach ended, where my stretch marks started, 'self love' it wrote out in small cursive writing.

My mom talked me into getting that one, I honestly missed my mom, and I'm never gonna see her again. That's when I felt like I could just sit on the ground and cry, I wish she was here right now, she would know what to do, she'd tell me what I should.

Should I break all the rules I've made for myself? Should I open myself up to these people? Am I even capable of opening myself again?

I just didn't know, I don't know them well enough to even know if I can trust them? What if they are like Leo?

God, I hope they're not like Leo.

Even the name of my ex-boyfriend made my heart ache but it also made me angry, he's the whole reason I am here, I wish I never met that boy.

The boy I thought I was gonna be with for the rest of my life, my first love, my first everything.

I gave everything to him, what did he give me, broken promises, a dead mother.

Anger poured into my veins, as I rubbed the body wash all over myself.

Leo was just a lying snitch, I could still remember how his lips felt on mine, but that was overpowered by the memory of his fists colliding with my face.

The only reason he snitch on my family is because I was done with him hitting me, lying to me, and everything else so I broke up with him, and he told the police everything,

I just keep wondering, what would my life be like now? If I was still with him and just let him keep punching me. Eli and Lucy both didn't know he was hitting me, no one did. I kept it from them, from everyone.

What everything is right with the world.

"Nova? Can you stop using all the hot water?" I stopped my dangerous thoughts, and turned off the water.

"Okay, just give me two sec." I said, my voice cracked.

"Are you okay, Nova?" he asked, I wrapped the towel around me and opened the door.

"Just fine, I'm just exhausted." I say walking out of the shower, I turned around and saw Zane watching me.

"Don't stare too hard, or you might fall in love." I told him, and he just laughed and closed the bathroom door shut, and I ran into my room.

I put on pj pants that have flowers all over them, and I put on a black cami. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes and the black lighter and my phone. I was about to go down stairs, when I noticed that outside the large window was a balcony and the window as actually a door.

How dumb can i be, I thought, walking outside and sitting down on the fold up yard chair. The warm wind moved my wet hair. I started to play some more on my phone, as I lit the stick and sucked in the cancer.

"Can I get one of those?" I jumped at Zane's voice.

"That was a really short shower." he shrugged his shoulders.

"Can I have one." I showed the open pack to him and he took one and he lifted his head in, and lit it. "Nova, be honest with me, are you okay?"

"I'm okay, really."I shrugged, taking another puff of the cigarette.

"Don't you miss Edith, or whatever her name is?" Elidi.

"Elidi." I corrected him, "Of course, I miss Eli but I'll see her in a few weeks. You wanna know what I really miss."

"What?"

"In my room back home, I had these green glow in the dark stars on my ceiling. That's what I miss most about home."

"That's it?"

"No, I also miss these thick fuckin' block letters that wrote my name out on my bedroom wall." I laughed leaning back into my chair.

"Why do you miss those things so much." I shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm just used to seeing them when I go to my room." I wasn't lying. I did miss the glow in the dark stars, and the block letters, and the lime green walls of my bedroom.

I also miss Elidi, Lucine, and I shared a bathroom. I miss seeing kid brothers all the time, I miss seeing them all the time.

But I can't do anything about that, but I could get some damn light up stars.