28 Chapter 6.2- Maria's POV
The queen sighed as she looked out the window at her poor Haven. She watched mournfully as she saw how he dripped with sweat as he awkwardly swung a weighted wooden sword at an immobile straw dummy in an attempt at a rhythmic pattern. Judging by his posture, it was clear that he was only a step away from becoming completely enraged. She thought ruefully that it would hardly be surprising if he was cursing her name to the heavens, but this entire torturous process was for his good. If she was lucky, he would understand why she had done it one day. Her conditions had only been designed to protect him, even if he didn't see it now.
Her mind wandered to when she had first met the boy who she would love as a son. He was so young, and his feelings of abandonment were threatening to drown him alive. The knowledge that someone needed her drew her in like a moth to a flame; it was a constant daily struggle to see the man he had become behind the boy she couldn't help but see. He had become her child just as much as any of her natural offspring, and she loved him with her entire heart.
He was grown now, and there was little she could do to protect him from the dangers of life herself. This world was a cruel one, and the unfortunate truth was that one needed to know how to defend themselves. That need increased exponentially when one was a member of the royal family, and the only way for a man to protect themselves was to learn how to fight. Enemies with and without swords were waiting for you around every corner. A lack of preparedness for this sad fact would ensure you would be struck down physically or mentally. Life here was war, and it was only a matter of time before it would no longer be possible for her to protect her son from it. Teaching him how to protect himself was the main gift she could give in.
An additional layer of protection could have been offered if the queen had insisted on etiquette lessons on top of the other conditions she gave, and a part of her knew that if he knew how to deal with the nobles in their language, he would be far safer than he was now. But if she was honest with herself, she knew he would have lost his head and refused to cooperate if she pushed him too far. Even if he was fully invested in what he had asked for his temper would ensure he burned every bridge he possibly could in a desire to keep his independence.
Life may have been kinder to Haven if he had been born female, and it almost seemed like a cruel joke from the heavens to have him cursed to be a man. He didn't have the temperament for any of the activities one would consider traditionally masculine, and if he had been born female- or even if he had been born into a family of lesser nobles or to a merchant class household- he would have possibly have had the option to try and become a scholar like she knew he wanted. He may have even been able to become a mage, as unlikely as that possibility seemed. But as a court raised male? His only options were to follow a dream that wasn't his own or for him to be blocked by the stubbornness of idiots at every turn. He had so much potential to offer and it was tragic that he could use none of it.
