1 Dreaming

Groaning, I smiled in satisfaction at the pleasant sounds of joints popping, I've always likened myself to a cat in terms of my morning routine.

Standing I jumped about shaking my arms and legs to get the blood flowing, my sacred morning ritual had never stirred myself wrong. Nothing like some light morning exercises to wake yourself up after a long night of reading web-novels.

Feeling proud over my hard work, having already finished the days exercise, I finally opened my eyes.

You see, I did my morning routine blind, mind-muscle connection and all that, gotta confuse the muscles. Ha. Can you imagine how confused they are when you can't even see them! Probably explains why I'm so smart, since I confuse myself all the time.

Looking towards my bicep, I flexed it.

"What?"

Transfixed, I poke and prodded it with my finger, barely believing my eyes. Instead of the feminine twig of an arm that I expected, there stood a large bicep in all it's glory. Taunt

and ripe, the perfect shape.

Blinking, and laughing at the silliness of the dream, I went ahead and pinched my cheek, safe in the knowledge that there would be no pain.

"Oww" I said surprised at my own pain.

I thought you were not supposed to feel pain in a dream?

Briefly I entertained the thought that this was reality, and that my body had suddenly underwent years of training overnight, becoming a fierce weapon ready to deliver swift justice to the criminals of the underworld!

"Fierce like a lion, haha that is me!" A crazed roar followed my proclamation.

Using my hands like windshield-wipers I wiped my eyes. Distantly a feeling of wrongness overpowered me.

I could see! I mean not that I'm blind, it's just that normally I'd require glasses you see but now I can see! Perfectly! Without any of those dirtied glasses.

All my faults, corrected over night? Am I Captain America? Swiftly looking around the foreign room, in search of the glorious viburnum shield, I locked eyes with a girl.

A girl, I might add that was staring at me as if I was on display on a freak circus, her head tilted, eyes wide like saucers. I half believed they were UFO's come to abduct me but the lack of accompanying extra worldly light zoning onto me quickly confirmed the truth.

Now, why was there a girl here? Thinking furiously while I nonchalantly scratched my head. I froze. It couldn't be, could it?

Was this a legendary erotic dream? An impish smile spread on my face like the plague. I could scantly believe my luck, this was a dream come true.

"Eh? Young Master, have you finally replaced your brain with wine?"

Young master? Haha, this is just too perfect to be real.

"Of course, only wine can drain my sorrows away." I said in a tone I assumed was equally pained and seductive, while walking towards her slowly.

Her eyes flickered around my face, no doubt falling for my charm.

"Sorrow? You're smiling, you idiot. The only thing you drain is the clan's resources, I'd liken you to trash but trash can be recycled!"

Wait what? This was not the script. This was off-script. The territory unknown to men but I was not normal men. I was, I was, well I am ME. Other men, would falter but I shall improvise!

"How could I not smile, seeing the beautiful sun rise to greet me?"

Her head tilted even more, almost at an unimaginable angle.

"Sun?" Her puzzled face looked even more exquisite.

Her hand came flying to meet my face and a strong slap echoed in the small room.

Blink. Blinking away the pain I reached up to my cheek.

"Ouch, that hurt, I'm not into that kind of stuff, you freak!" I yelled, tenderly touching my cheek, taking a sharp breath at the pain as my fingers graced the sensitive nerves in the skin and adopting a defensive posture, ready to slay this insolent pest.

"Young Master, get your head out of the gutter. I am here on behalf of Master Sheun. He wants his money back."

´Young Master, clan, resources, legendary trash scene and an infamous debt trope´ I was wrong about the nature of this dream, this is obviously Xianxia!

I smiled, one cheek glowing red the other white as jade.

This is even better, a trash young master, I was destined for greatness! I was destined for harems with world breaking beauties. My future was bright. And so was my smile.

"Yes, the money, of course. I haven't forgot, how could I? I'd never dare to anger senior Sheun. How much was it now again? I'll just head over to the bank right after I know how much I should withdraw."

Scenes of mountains of gold, heaven breaking swords and artifacts, dangerous mythical beasts like dragons flooded my mind as I tensed my body. No, in a world of cultivation my body was my weapon! I tensed my weapon!

"You forgot…" she spoke, hand hitting her forehead.

Ouch, that's gonna leave a mark, what a crazy girl... I thought shaking my head.

Sighing, I saw her turn around, leaving out of the same door she entered, all while leaving me with some words to ponder.

"700 gold coins, we'll come to collect by the start of next week. You have 4 days, otherwise you know what happens." Her icy cold voice hit me with a literal breeze, reminding me of the fact that I was naked all along.

"Whatever, stupid dream girl" I said standing proud and defiant while the door swung close.

Hearing the comforting sound of the door locking itself, I immediately dived for the cowers, enveloping myself with their warm presence.

`Cold, cold and cold` I muttered to the empty room, teeth clattering.

Feeling my blood warm up, I could finally think.

How did all those protagonists make money? They either fled, killed or found a heavenly treasure. Well... my next step is obvious then. My plan is:

1. Get dressed

2. Find a heavenly treasure.

A simple elegant two step plan that tied up all the lose ends, better get started right away. Destiny waits for no man.

Jumping off the bed in a graceful leap, I thew on some clothes that lay-ed on the floor. Marveling at the power of this body.

"Powerful!" I said taking on my best hero pose, hands on the hips, legs wide apart showing my dominance!

The flailing of my arms did nothing to reduce the majestic moment, I shall practice this in the future, not because I need to but because whatever, generic excuse. Lets roll, beauties await me.

Slamming the door open with a kick, I grimaced as I saw the door break off it's hinges flying into the dirt road in front of it and embedding itself into the ground.

I stood staring in disbelief at door.

Haha, this couldn't be better. My cheat is already found, I'm super strong! I just need a license for these guns now. I started flexing my biceps, in various poses before noticing the people around the street staring at me like if I was trash, I proudly said.

"Me? Trash? Haha, did you see my strength?"

Seeming them all frozen in awe I walked up to the nearest person and poked at their chest, asking "You there, where can I find the dangerous beasts that are valuable once slain?" I gave him my best smile, ignoring the question-mark on his face and talking like I'd imagine an immeasurable cultivator would.

"Are you in elementary school? Everyone knows of the monsters to the east and the valuable cores they contain?"

"Haha, of course. I was just testing you, now comes the bonus question!" I pointed out scratching my chin with a finger "What direction is East?"

Following the mans finger, I began my journey of a thousand steps with one giant step due to my powerful stature, so my journey would be more like 500 of me-sized steps. Ha, already half done. All in a days work, all in a days work.

Caught up in my internal monologue, I completely missed what was going on in the surrounding.

"What does that retard mean? Strength? He smashed his door into pieces, is he too dimwitted to control his own body?"

"Doesn't even know where the monsters are, haha, It's not like there is a giant wall to the East" one said pointing to a wall that covered the entire horizon.

"You think he is going out there to battle against the monsters?"

"There is retarded and then there is brain-dead, he didn't even have a weapon on him." Another pointed out.

"Why is he wearing female clothes, is it the newest fashion trend? AM I OUT OF FASHION? Does anyone know?!" A man screamed, grabbing people and shaking them, demanding answers.

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The titanic white stone wall loomed tall in the spotless sky, a silent imposing presence in the background of the city.

Whistling, I looked up. That's a big one. That had to be the height of a medium skyscraper, how did they build this? The wonders of slave labour? The wall didn't reply to my inquisitive question, whatever, wall, you keep your secrets.

Shrugging and dipping a finger in the ground, I wrote in my notebook. Which I had recommissioned from a pamphlet that I found on my way over, really such a waste leaving one side perfectly white, it was practically free paper. Well, waste not want not.

Quests:

>Eastern Wall will fall either due to an equally titanic monster or a horde of lesser more normal sized

monsters. Really, why do they bother building a wall? Everyone knows if you build a wall, all you do

is invite people to invade and break it, it's like a big sign "Treasure here". Besides they can just fly

over it on their swords.

Noticing I was writing fluently without hesitation as if it was my native language, I mentally noted down that there is a bleed-over in memories. I must have retained the original hosts' memory of the language.

Grinning. I wondered if buried deep below in my memory was a set of peerless martial arts and cultivation techniques. I mean, it's practically tradition at this point.

A whistling caught my attention, and I looked up from the ground where I squatted, writing with my improvised pen, a finger dipped in mud, on my environmental friendly paper.

Annoyed at they would interrupt my monologue time, don't they have basic etiquette? What an embarrassment they have to be to their parents.

"Yes?" I asked irked.

"Well aren't you a pretty one?" A gaunt guard said guffawing.

"A real looker." Another one added, joining the guard in laughing.

A stone faced guard with a red crest on his helmet, asked in a serious tone. "What is your purpose at the gate? Come to joined your brothers on the outside"?

Oblivious from the implications of their words, I blushed deeply, my cheeks matching the crest of the guard. I secretly thanked my past self for having such a great taste in clothes.

"Good sirs, why, thank you. No, I was not aware the clan had members outside the walls at the moment but I'm here to pass into the wildlands beyond and bring back a great treasure!"

Their laughing stopped, when he muttered clan members. Standing up, they assumed an air of a professional as if they were one from the beginning.

"Yes, young master, we'll open the gates for you at once." The stone man of a guard said, waving his arm to a tower embedded into the wall, turning back to face me. He hesitated.

"Forgive me for asking, young master, but where is your weapon?" He said no doubt wondering where I could be hiding a weapon.

A loud grinding noise, of stone against stone rumbled out from within the wall as a steel portcullis got hoisted into the air.

Little did he know that best place to hide something was in plain site! Adopting my hero pose version 0.2. I adopted the voice of a scholar, " Weapon? A cultivator like me has no need for a weapon, my entire body is my weapon, in fact you should be ashamed of yourself, a cultivator wearing a weapon? Disgraceful."

A large metal gate beyond the portcullis was slowly opened until an opening a meter wide presented itself, while the guards stood contemplating the wise words.

"We are not culti-" one guard began only to get stopped when the other shoved an elbow into his stomach.

"Forgive me, senior. I failed to recognize your strength but now that you mentioned it I understand. The gate is open now, young master. I would hate to delay a person of such importance like yourself." The officer said bowing.

"Self-awareness is a virtue. Thank you, keep the good work up, I'll see you all later" I lectured in a cheery voice, excited at the sight of the massive gate opening. Smoothly walking out, I spared a look behind me, watching the guards seemingly bicker amongst themselves, shrugging. I looked to the East. At the wilderness in front of me, as far as I could see vegetation galore, trees that eclipsed the great redwood tree of Earth present abound.

In my eyes, the beautiful green of a dollar sign was reflected as I gazed out at the treasure trove before me.

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"Why did you do that for, you idiot?"

"I'm the idiot? That was a cultivator, one so powerful he doesn't need a weapon to fight against the beasts on the outside, talking to a cultivator nonetheless one as powerful as him is a death-trap, you never know with their eccentric personality if what you say will offend them or not" He said shuddering.

"But we weren't cultivators, what if there is a misunderstanding now?"

"Relax, gentlemen, he seemed to be a cultivator of extreme composure, he didn't seem to be bothered by our actions." The officer said while internally screaming in fear.

How did he know I was a cultivator? Who is he? I'm supposed to be a hidden power at the wall, only known by a select few, is there a leak? I should report to the master at once. "My body is my weapon" how fierce, he could barely imagine what kind of tempering a cultivator had to go through to achieve such profoundness.