Maryam_Zahoor
It's a good story with an interesting plotline. The story development was pace rather slowly, but it suits the plot well. Every scene was unfolding with a good description, and it was well detailed. There were just a few grammatical errors, such as the misuse of pronouns. It's minimal, and I think that this story would develop better.
The storyline and the plot is written really well. It's hard executing a good time travel story and plus it has reincarnation? You're really amazing and creative for pulling something hard. You're hard work in writing the story pays off for being amazing, I'd totally recommend this to some of my friends.
Rocky's story is interesting to discover and each of his thoughts has a genuine feeling of reality behind it. The writing can be a bit better, but the plot and storyline are engaging. Every character is intriguing and the author has done a great job in showing their personality through well-written dialogues. Overall, nice job!
You have a great idea for the story! I like the mixture of time travel, reincarnation, and all the science-fiction aspects of your story. The plot is intriguing and your characters are nicely created. The thing that bothers me is the way you construct dialogues, it shows the imperfection of the author's workshop, so there is a place for improvement.
Honest opinion, this story is an open book. The opening chapters donât seem to flow very well, especially with the dialogues swapping from â to : every so often. The tenses also become mixed up, and too many characters are show at once, creating confusion. Otherwise, the plot of the novel is being unpacked fast and I like how the author has gone on to address the sci-if genre. Itâs good if you ignore the punctuation and style errors.
I was really surprised on how soo many different concepts and ideas were used in this story. There's aliens, time travel, revenge, super powers in this story and even with soo much on the plate it feels it's been executed well. Yes, there are moments were it feels too fast or too much, but with such complexity in the story I would have been surprised if there weren't any such moments. But I do feel things can get a little slow for good at some parts. But with that aside, I feel the world building is really done greatly! It is really well written and it keeps me intrigued to read more! Keep up the good work author!
Really interesting concepts and set up. Seems like the story has a few too many ideas that are kinda competing with one another while trying to establish what the plot will be about. I keeps things interesting but also a little unfocused. I feel like the pacing goes a tad too fast at times with too many characters being introduced, too many things happening, and too many rules about how this world works being established one after another. Probably my advice would be trying to espace out the events a bit and focus more on smaller things like character detail. We get things like time travel, aliens, people coming back from the dead, robbery... But I find it hard to get invested cause I feel like I know so little about these people. The dialog also doesn't help. Everyone talks so much but it's mostly exposition explaining what's going on and what they're doing. Dialogs that sometimes go on for gigantic paragraphs. Meanwhile, the actual events like kidnapping a baby only last for a short while. I feel there is a need for people to say less and do more, and allow the reader to learn more from those actions .
WOW... It's recommended! At first, when I saw the cover, I think this is the story about an old grandpa... and soon after I read the synopsis, it hooked me... even more, after I read some chapters, it got my heart... will put it into my collection for sure... I will be waiting for more chapters... best of luck author..