1 Darkness

"Time is relevant" I have heard it many times in my life, never understanding the meaning behind it, not even tried. It was just another phrase for me, but now it is the most important one or, should I say, The most understood one. Time really is relevant, it depends on your mood and situation, and right now, my circumstances are terrible 'I' don't even know how much time has passed since I had stuck in this darkness can be hours, days, years, decades, I can bet if anyone sits five minutes in their room without a mobile or television, it will feel like an hour and, if the time increased to ten then he will feel like an eternity and, I am not even in my room. It is just darkness all over not, even a gleam to be seen, has I gone blind no it cannot be because if I was blind then at least I should hear some voice or feel someone's touch I sure am not, then it only means that I died after getting hit by that truck, or I am in a coma.

What should I do today? I have already counted to a million 'God' knows how many times. I always forget the count midway only to start again, 'I' already dreamt about sleeping with all actress I could remember 'I' had already recited God's name millions of time even, prayed to Yama. At this point, I do not care if it's heaven or hell, 'I' could even sell my soul to him if he can pull me away from this darkness, loneliness. I should have done more sins or good deeds when I was alive so that at least one of them had come. I am afraid they have forgotten about me as I was too average.

From childhood to high school to job and adulthood, the only thing extraordinary about me was how extraordinarily average was I. It was funny as to how in the family of overachievers an average, son like me was born. My father was a successful businessman, my mother was a famous designer, my older sister was extraordinarily beautiful and used to work as a part-time model for magazines and then there was my average face, balding hair at the age of 25, average height 'I' sometimes even questioned my mother's loyalty to my father there is no way that my sister and I was born from same father, it was like pug and pomeranian born from the same womb but now I think about it she could never cheat on him seeing how lovey-dovey they were each day you can puke candies after seeing them even if you hadn't eaten any. And me being youngest I always enjoyed being pampered and I would have still enjoyed it if that didn't happened.