16 The Wolf With-in

I don't know why the thoughts Lucian were having made me so angry, but for some reason as he thought about all the missions I had done for him it pissed me off. They were not really that bad and all the people I killed deserved it. I also shouldn't have walked off like that, but I really needed some time to myself. A run along the beach is just what I needed. The water is calm today. Up ahead I notice a Vampire by the water. She looks upset, I wonder if I should talk to her.

I walk up to the vampire, she has long blonde hair that is pulled back into a pony tail. She is also tan and curvy. Not to mention she is very pretty. "Hi, Can I join you?" I ask.

"Of course." Her smile didn't reach her eyes but she seemed to be glad I approuched her.

"I am Nyx, The Luna of The Fire Pack." I say trying to sound as happy as possible.

"I am Kimber, Fino's Daughter." This time her smile reaches her eyes when she looks at me.

"Oh! I remember you now. You have grown up alot since I last saw you." I say.

"Yeah alot can happen in 10 years. You look like you have alot on your mind." She says trying to read my thoughts but I block her.

"I could say the same for you."

"I hate it when my dad leaves. I don't feel safe. I guess its just the memories of all that has happened. Thank you by the way."

"I didn't think you would remember me." I say surpriesed. She isn't Fino's biological daughter. Her parents had been murdered and she was kidnapped by a rogue Vampire. I ended up killing him and bringing her to Fino to see if he could keep her safe. He ended up adopting her himself.

"How could I forget. This big white wolf comes in kills the vampire that had taken me and killed my parents. Then she takes me to Fino and shows me how to control my powers." She pulls me into a huge hug.

"I am glad you are doing well." I say.

"What is bothering you?" She ask once again trying to get in my head.

"All the memories of the things I have done in the last 10 years. That and the issues of my wolf fighting with the vampire side." I try to explain.

"Ah sounds about like when you found me and I couldn't control my fire powers."

"I still wish that was one power I could have. That seems cool." I say

"It's better now. The water helps as well. Still cannot touch some of the new technology. " She says sadly.

"Eh, who needs all that shit anyway." I say trying to cheer her up.

"I don't know. It sucks, Fino is no help. He is used to not having any of those things. He lives very simply."

"I remeber. If you would want to hang out some time let me know."

"I will, You look like you need to go for a run" She says.

"I do and I am going to, Have a good day Kimber. I will always be here for you." I say and give her another hug.

"I know Nyx, Have a great day." She says and heads back towards her home.

Running into Kimber really helped my thoughts calm down. I could only think of all the people I had killed. I forgot about those I helped. It also made me realize my wolf is not a bad thing. She saw me a good. I saved her. I really need my dad. He will be the one who can help me. I cannot shift without him. I do not care if that upsets Xander but I still don't know if he can control it. My dad can or always could before when it had been a long time since I shifted.

"Hey Kiddo, Everything okay?" Theron says after picking up on the first ring.

"No, I need to shift but I don't want to without you here." I say trying not to cry. I do not understand these feelings.

"You don't need me. You need your mate. He can handle it. Even better than I can. Hell he is just like you Nyx." His tone is calming. The deep vibrations in his voice really helps.

"You think so? You said you were coming why can't I wait for you?" I begg

"Nyx, I still have a few things I have to take care of you are a big girl. It's time to grow up." He says sternly.

"Thanks for your help." I respond sarcastically.

"Nyx, I am no longer your alpha. I will not be able to control you anymore. Only Xander can. I am sorry this is not what you want to hear but it is the truth." This time his voice sounds sad.

"I know, I just needed to hear it from you I think." I say just as sadly.

"I love you Nyx, I will see you in a week or so. But shift tonight and do so with Xander near by." He says.

"I will dad. Love you too and see you then." I say as I hang up the phone. I am back home sitting on the couch when Xander and Lucian walk in.

"I am sorry I walked off." I say before they really even have time to see me.

"No, worries as I said I get it Nyx, you are only 28 its not expected for you to have control yet." Xander picking me up and sitting back down with me on his lap.

"I want to shift tonight." I say kissing him.

"I am going to go get some sleep you to kids have fun." Lucian says as he heads to the guest bedroom.

"Its not like you have never kissed a girl." Xander says teasingly. Lucian just sakes his head as walks off.

"What made you change your mind." Xander ask.

"Two things, first I ran into Kimber she reminded me that my wolf isn't a bad thing. Then I called my dad." I say as I start kissing his jaw.

"If you keep that up the only thing that will be happening is me inside of you." He says

"I will need blood first. I have not shifted in so long I should just in case." I say.

Xander lifts me off his lap and goes into the kitchen. When he returns he is carring 4 bags of blood. I extend my fangs and he pops the bag onto them. I start taking the blood in. He does the same and as soon as we are done he takes the bag into the kitchen and thows them away.

"Fallow me I will show you where I go to shift." He says as he takes my hand. We take off out the back door. He starts running and I fallow close. Instead of running a slow pace I normally run so humans do not suspect a thing we are running at our full speed. Atleast I am I really think he is holding back. I am a good foot shorter than he is. Once we reach close to the top of a huge hill Xander stops and starts striping free of his clothes. I do the same. Suddenly feeling nervous.

"Do you want me to shift first or wait for you?" Xander ask as he cups my chin and looks into my eyes. His eyes are purple and that helps calm me.

"You first please." As soon as I say so he starts to shift. For normal werewolfs it is quick and looks painful and you can hear every bone crack. But for Xander and I it is almost like magic. There is a purple light that seems to come from us from around our whole body. It seems to take him a while to shift but I think he did so for me so I could see that he really does understand. Once he is shifted I see this huge black wolf in front of me. His purple eyes shining bright. I have to look up at him.

"Your turn." He tells me as he opens the mind link.

I start to shift the same purple light comes out from around me. Its been so long since I shifted I actually feel every bone pop it doesn't take me as long as it did Xander. Once I have shifted I realize I am actually a little bit bigger than he is but not by much.

"I have never seen a wolf so white. and all that damn food you eat must be why you are bigger than me." He tells me through mind link.

"I need to run." I tell him. Then I take off. The wolf is a like a wild animal its going to be hard to shift back. She likes to be in control. I run as fast as I can. Xander is with me every step of the way. The need to fight my wolf is gone. I feel free for the first time ever.

"Being mated will help. My wolf feels better as well" Xander slips into my mind.

"For the first time ever I feel like both sides of me are getting along when I am in wolf form."

"I know I feel it too, Nyx. Lets run for a few more hours then head back home." He says and we take off to see who can go down the hill then back up again.