13 Chapter 13 - I’m a Monster

I can't move, and it's dark, I'm floating in something, it's like I'm on water, but it's not cold, or warm, and when I get up, it doesn't feel like I'm sinking, it feels like I'm on solid floor.

As time goes by, a light begins to shine...it's hot, we just got back from the funeral. My sister had died from cancer, and as they buried her, I found myself unable to understand the sadness of everyone else. I felt like I saw her, watching over me. Otherwise, I'm just toying around with a makeshift plane made out of styrofoam.

It really was hot that day.

Time had passed...they're all distant, my mother tried to kill father, and me by accident, she grabbed the candle covered in thick glass, and missed my head by an inch, she might've of tried to kill me, maybe. Not to mention my father who stayed away, cause of the burn marks remaining when I set him on fire as he slept.

Heck, I had even set the closet on fire, and lit the nail polish on fire down the drain that wasn't really connected. I had to smush out the fire with clothes, when I noticed the fire went through the sink into the cabinet under.

I did many things, things I would rather not say that were far worse. Not limited to destroying a bikes engine with water, and stabbing a water bed repeatedly on multiple occasions.

I wasn't really something you call normal, they took me to people, and they were flabbergasted when I said I talked to the teddy bears. I don't remember what the teddy bears said, but it frightened them immensely. I remember telling them that souls were attached, but I was a kid, so I wasn't sure where I got this knowledge.

My brother was hanging out with the wrong crowd as a teen as well, even though it was a very small town in the country. He screamed at night, something dragged him to the edge of the bed. He had even seen something when he looked in the mirror. He described it differently to the one I remembered.

Regardless, the hand print on his leg terrified the family, and claw marks under the skin on his back, only served to make things worse. At least they finally believed me when I said there was something in the closet in my mother's room, cause the hand mark was similar to mine when I was attacked after my siblings locked me in there for a prank.

The green eyes that stared at me, all as it pulled my foot under me, knocking me out.

So many creepy things, and our pets just kept dying, I remember running after the mother cat, when she died in an instant. She was hard as rock, like a plastic toy figure covered in fur.

Even when the "incident" happened in which I did something horrible to another cat paled in comparison.

They just couldn't up, and leave. So we stayed, and as time passed, things got worse. I began to have nightmares as I felt the pull of rotting hands trying to grab me. I felt like there were many things around me, and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't get away from them, so my instincts took over, i became more aggressive, and started committing worse acts.

At one point, I had kids sign me over their souls, when they, as well as myself, didn't even know what that was. I even made them spit on their hands, and smudge their signatures as proof of blood when I was still under 10, truly what was I doing.

Only later did I learn that far down the road neighbor, cursed us with cemetery dirt.

Regardless, things just didn't seem to stop, it was truly bad, to the point my father would bring these crystals he got that melted, and burned, releasing a white trail. Things somehow got better, but I would tend to cough a lot when I smelled it, it was worse than everyone. Eventually, I grew to like the smell, as he would go into each room muttering prayers.

I even looked forward to those shiny rocks that would melt, that I went to my fathers room. I found those rocks, and when I lit them, and ingested the smell as they melted, I had a horrible coughing fit. I almost threw up, and I had to clean up the dirty plehm I coughed out. Only after that incident, could I take a good look into the room.

The walls in the room were decayed, and broken, the room used to be my sisters, but he had a table full of books. Including a bible, a book on minerals, a rock of talcum, and a book of the dead from the Egyptians. I remembered him telling me that if I wanted to learn magic, I had to read the Bible, he would tell me about the magic it had, and the sword of the archangel that formed a wall of fire to the other side. That you had to have something as a person, to cross the fire without burning away, only then could you try to wield it.

I didn't know how to read, so I looked at the pretty pictures, sadly it was a mistake. I saw him, a mighty being, the same night I saw the pictures of the Egyptians. He was in a city, a big city, he had light icy golden short hair, and light icy blue eyes, the name that came to my mouth was Anubis, he was angry. He stared at me, like an insignificant creature, I wasn't able to move. I was in a big bed, in a very fancy room, and I was frozen under his glare. I could see that past him were sky scrapers, and traffic in the distance. We were very high up, but regardless, I was terrified of him.

I eventually woke up, my clothes were soaked, and I was freezing even though it was hot. I had the experience 2 more times years later, and years apart. Once when I saw the book again, and one far off when I remembered the book. It was then, that something had changed for me.

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