3 Chapter 3

Sunlight peered through the old apartment curtains, lighting up my room with an early smile. I flew over my bed, excited and nervous to start my first day of college. I had waited so long for this day. I had planned everything out to make sure it went perfectly, and nothing could ruin it.

The smile on my face never faded from the moment I showered to when I dressed and brushed my hair down to my shoulders.

I gathered my already-packed bag and soared down the stairs of the building complex. I pushed open the doors and crossed the street after looking both ways. After only being here a few days, I had noticed that my street was filled with other college students going in and out of places which meant a lot of traffic.

I got the keys to unlock my car while checking any message from my mother, pulling the rusty door open to see the single voicemail that was left last night, hours after I had gone to sleep. My finger slid it open not recognising the number.

"Emma it's Myra! I called you so many times but you never answered! I'm staying at Lars' apartment and I wanted to let you know so you don't freak out. I also left my phone in your car so I'm calling from his phone! Anyways, I'll see you soon!" She yelled over loud music and ended the message.

I quickly dial back the number hearing it ring for a long while before it picked up.

"Hello?" Lars' familiar voice spoke through the line, low and husky like he had just woken up.

"Lars, hi it's Emma, Myra's roommate."

"Oh, hi." He sounded more alert.

"Myra told me she'd be with you, is she okay?"

"She had a lot to drink but she's fine and still sleeping." He shuffled around in the line. "Look, she needs to get to class and I can't take her because of my early shift at work. If it's not too much of a bother, do you think you could pick her up?"

I didn't exactly expect to be picking up a hung-over roommate today, but after she had been so nice with me and helped me move, I saw it only as fair to return the favour.

"I'll pick her up, there's no problem." I smiled, even though he couldn't see it.

"Cool thank you, I'll text you the address. Let me know if there's anything else."

Seconds after the call ended, I got the address from Lars. I put the directions into my phone's GPS, and I was glad to see it was only a few minutes away.

I set off in my modest car and followed the blue lines of the screen to an apartment complex closer to the richer part of Berkeley. I walked up the slim pavement and knocked on apartment fourteen like Lars had asked me to do.

It didn't take long for his tall and broad figure to fill the frame and invite me inside with a half smile.

"Thanks for coming," He greeted me. "Coffee?"

"Um, sure. If it's not too much of a hassle." I answer him shyly.

"Not at all. Myra should be up soon." I watched as he poured the hot black liquid in two separate mugs, the steam fading away when it reached his face. "Do you like it black?"

I nod with an appreciative smile even though I felt a little uncomfortable being in my roommate's boyfriend's apartment.

I look around at the decorative furniture. Posters of a few bands hung above the black living room couch, the walls all white and cables scattered along the cold floors. "You have a nice place," I tell him.

"Elijah doesn't agree," He chuckled. "I had to practically beg him to let me put those posters there." He nods over at the living room posters.

"Is that your roommate?"

"Yeah," He walked over and handed me the hot cup.

"Thank you." I give a faint smile and take my sip gradually.

Lars took a seat, signalling for me to do the same. I held the cup close to my lips and thought about what other friends he might have. I knew that Aiden was one of them since he picked up Lars yesterday, but apart from that, I knew nothing about him.

I sat quietly while staring into the darkness inside the cup. I was here waiting for Myra to wake up and drinking coffee with a guy I barely knew. But that was normal to me now. After I nearly ran Will over yesterday, college was already very different from what I imagined. The people were so different from my town, and the thought of Aiden suddenly popped into my head. I bit the inside of my cheeks trying not to grow annoyed. How someone like him could even have friends was beyond me, but I would be lying if I didn't admit it intrigued me.

When I looked up from my cup again, Lars had his phone in his hands sliding across the screen to answer a call. He gave me a noticeable smile and walked from the table over to the sink.

"What's up?" He tipped what was left of his coffee down the drain. "...I don't know, Aiden. Ask the girl you slept with not me." Lars rolled his eyes and tucked his phone into his back pocket after a very short conversation with his friend.

"Everything okay?" I finish my coffee and put aside the cup.

"Yeah it's just Aiden and his girl problems." Lars rolls his eyes and chuckles. "You know him, don't you?"

"Hardly," I say. "I only met him last night so I wouldn't know much."

"Was he mean to you?" He asked and I nodded in response. "You aren't his type. That was probably why he was so mean to you."

"What?" I was partially confused on how he would know something like that.

"Look, girls only go around Aiden to get laid. He won't be interested in you and if he is, he'll just use you and forget about you the next day. I'm sorry to be so blunt but that's just how he is. I've known him for a while, you're... different than what he's used to."

I ignore the way Lars called me different as if it were a sin to be, and I begin to think about the poor girls who had been with Aiden in the past.

"I can't imagine how girls might have an actual relationship with him." I muttered.

Lars began to laugh loudly at my comment as if it was the most absurd thing he had ever heard. "You really think that someone like him could ever be in a relationship?" He laughs again. "Aiden Blackwood doesn't do commitment, and anyone that thinks otherwise is a fool."

"He's never been in a relationship?" My surprise was more evident in my voice than I would've liked.

"Emma, the only thing that I know is that he doesn't do the romance stuff. He hooks up. Other than that, he's a mystery."

"He just uses girls like that?" My brows crease in confusion.

"He doesn't use them, they throw themselves at him." He smirked, the look on his face... pride? Envy?

Before an awkward silence was able to fall over us, Myra came into the kitchen with bed hair and half open eyes. She looked exhausted but it was probably because she was hung-over from last night.

"Hey," Lars greeted her with a bright smile.

"Shh... don't talk so loudly." She came into the kitchen whispering. She placed a soft kiss on his cheek and went over to the pot Lars was at earlier.

Lars eventually left to take his shift and Myra quickly finished off her cup, complaining about the bitterness of pure black coffee.

She hopped into my car after changing and showering. She sang to some songs on the radio and seemed to be completely sobered up in an instant, while the closer I got to the college the more butterflies that flew around in my stomach.

I gathered my bag filled with textbooks from the backseat of my car and Myra showed me through the entrance. She spoke about the campus and places to eat but I was distracted by the fact that I was really here.

The University of California was huge. It was even bigger than I remembered it from a few years ago. The campus alone seemed to never end, the buildings were tall and everyone inside was either crying or jumping with happiness as they said goodbye to their parents.

I pulled up my schedule sheet and campus map finding where my first class would be located.

"I'll meet you back at the apartment! Good luck on your first day, newbie!" She waved me goodbye and paced over to her class like she was late.

I made my way into an auditorium and found the emptiness a bit strange considering it was the first day. I checked the room number again making sure I was in the right place, and I was. I took the chance to find a seat in the front; a tip that I learnt from one of my mother's work friends back home.

I line up my notebook and pencil out on the desk nervously, trying to make everything perfect so I wouldn't be rushing when the professor came in and started the class.

I ducked my head down to my backpack and searched for a pencil sharpener but didn't find one. I looked around for someone to ask, spotting a guy sitting behind me with light brown hair facing away from me. He was the only person here apart from me.

"Um, excuse me?" I spoke out shyly and immediately the guy turned around.

I met the same face from last night and immediately, a smile tugged widely at my lips.

"Emma?" Will looked surprised, confused and happy all at once. "What are you doing here?"

"I take this class," I put aside the thought of a sharpener. "I thought you were doing law school, what are you doing in a literary theory and criticism class?"

"Well I had to do an extra class to fill in the empty space I had in my schedule. It was either this or a movements class." He laughs. "I just hope you know more about literature than I do because otherwise, we are both failing this class miserably." His smile was bright as I laughed at his joke.

"I'm really glad I won't be alone for this class. It's my first day and I'm already kind of freaking out." I laugh nervously.

"Mine too, don't worry." He smiled kindly.

I turn back to my desk and notice that I still needed a sharpener. I look back at Will who was organizing his books the same way I was. "Hey, do you have a pencil sharpener?

"Yeah, here." He rummaged through his navy blue pencil case and took out a small plastic. He handed it to me and I thanked him before and after using it.

"Hello everyone, my name is Professor Lyn!" A woman shouts from the front of the classroom.

"Many of you might be asking yourselves what this class is about and I'm here to explain it to you." Her loud voice echoed through the walls dominantly. "In this class you will be reading and discussing literature. I will expand your imagination, your sense of what is possible, and your ability to empathize with others." She turned to the blackboard behind her and took a piece of chalk from a small box, copying the words: Imagination, Empathy, Interpretation, Theories and Critique.

"I will push you to improve your ability to read crucially and interpret texts." She puts the chalk down and leans against the desk behind her. "I have high expectations which I require each and every single one of you to meet. I will give you pieces of literary interpretation, and you will write a critique of a literary work. To those who have been forced to take this class, no exceptions will be made for you. Now, if everyone could please open their textbooks to page one hundred and eighty two we can get started. This will be our main focus this semester: Reader-response and New Criticism."

I turn around quietly in my seat and face a nervous Will.

"Are you okay?"

He meets his blue eyes with mine and purses his lips together. "She looks intimidating..." He whispers to me, leaning over his little desk. "And I didn't understand half the words she just said either."

I tried to hold in a laugh while I helped quietly explain what the professor talked about.

The rest of that class went smoothly as it was basically an introduction to the semester. I was excited about this class given that literature had been one of my favourite things ever since I was little.

The next class was creative writing. I was alone in this class, which I was happy about. I had the freedom to explore and write whatever I liked. The professor of this class, unlike professor Lyn, was liberated. He asked us to write about something special that had happened in our lives as he thought it would be a good way to start off the year and get to know his students. I had no idea what was going to write, since special things weren't something common in my life, but I knew I would come up with something before tomorrow's due date.

During the small break I had between classes, I decided to check up on any missed notifications. I was more than surprised to find the five missed calls from my mother so I dialled her back straight away.

I head outside into an open space where few people laid down on the green grass with their textbooks, studying under turning leaves. The line rang a few times until my mother filled the line with her cheerless voice.

"Hi, Emma." Her tone was all too familiar to me.

"Mom what's wrong? Is everything okay?" I pushed my voice to run through the line.

"Nothing honey, everything is fine." Her voice breaks at the last word telling me she was lying.

"Mom, you called me five times," I pleaded with her. "What happened?"

It took a minute of silence for her to finally speak again.

"Your father called me today... he told me that he wanted to speak to you and that he didn't care how."

I freeze at her words.

Slowly, I felt all my perfect-first-day-of-college plans crumble around me next to the trees. Suddenly I was back to being that scared little girl hoping her father would come back from the grocery store with the milk he promised. Days went by where I sat by the door hoping that my favourite person would walk back and we would be okay. But he never came. The only thing he managed to do was leave and hand me the mess that was my mother afterwards.

There was no way I could talk to him. Even if I were with him, I wouldn't know what to say. There would be so many things to ask yet I wouldn't be able to mutter one word.

Turns out, no matter how well I planned my first day, it would end up a mess like everything else around me. Even college.